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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1998-02-11, Page 5A Final Thought Some people are so pessimistic, they'd complain about the noise if opportunity knocked. International Scene •0nt THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 1998. PAGE 5. Tung-in-cheke I haven't heard a peep from Ted Culp for a few years. Hope he all right. Mister Culp is — or was — president of the Simplified Spelling Society of Canada. Sorry ... that should read 'Simplifide- speling Sosiety ov Canada. Ted hates the way the English language works. "It's a very lazy and careless language," he once told me. "We need to chop out stuff all down the line." He's dead serious (or serius). Mister Culp has written a 30,000-word simplified dictionary and even published a newspaper printed in what he calls 'reformed English'. Much as I love the variety of English, I have to admit it doesn't make a lot of sense. How can words like through, threw, you and glue be spelled so differently and yet all end with the same sound? Why is there an "1" in 'could'? A "p" in 'pneumonia'? A "k" in 'knife? A "u" in valour' and one too many "a"s in 'aardvark? How •come the letter ''c" gets pronounced two different ways in the word 'cicada'? And then there's "ough", which can be pronounced six different ways -- as in tough, through, thorough, cough, hiccough and bough. Some bard once wrote these words about the idiocyncrasies of English: Billet does not sound like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet; Back in Canada My stay in the Czech Republic has now come to an end and I am back in Canada after my longest absence from home in many a year. My usual business trips take about a month; this one was four times as long and certainly just as interesting as any previous ones. To be honest I would not have missed it for anything. It challenged me in new and fascinating ways. When I arrived in Frydek-Mistek I really did not know what to expect. While I had been given a certain description of the city and the work I might be doing, I was uncertain what would be demanded of me. The fact that I would have to learn yet another language to add to my existing ones only served to make it more of a challenge. However, I argued that I tend to thrive on challenges and so I set out with a very positive attitude about the whole affair. I was not disappointed. It was certainly a challenge, but one that I found rather stimulating. I would be less than honest if I did not say right at the outset that one deciding factor was the inordinate amount of hospitality that was shown me from the beginning. Never, and I have been in a lot of countries, has such hospitality reached such high levels. The result was that I seldom experienced any real homesickness. I became engrossed in my work, the people with whom I worked and the country in general. Almost before I knew it, tote time came for me to return. I usually do not mention names in my column but, among all the people who made •;• • Viscous, viscount; load and broad Rounded, wounded; grieve and sieve; Friend and fiend; alive and live; Worm and storm; chaise, chaos, chair; Senator, spectator, mayor. Yup, English is a bizarre language alright. If Ted Culp had his way, it would be stripped down and freed from all its inconsistencies. Cleansed, as he put it, of all its "extraneous, redundant, superfluous, silent symbols." Alas, nobody ever paid much attention to Ted Culp. Language reformers seldom get much respect.A couple of hundred years ago, an American tried to interest his fellow countrymen in reforming the language. They ignored him too. And his name was Benjamin Franklin. Back at the turn of this century, the great critic and playwright George Bernard Shaw unveiled a whole new spelling system plus a new alphabet. The world yawned mightily. Perhaps the world instinctively knew better than the reformers ever will. This week I received this in the mail: DATELINE: BRUSSELS The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish ("Euro" for my stay so enjoyable, three names stand out. The first was Jiri Uherek, the head of the organization I worked with. He and I shared an intense feeling for hockey and he saw to it that I was able to attend a number of games featuring some of the best teams in the country. My very first weekend he introduced me to some members of his family and right to the end, tried to make my life more pleasant. He succeeded admirably. The second was Zdenka Stihlova. She was the principal of the school but, in fact was far more like a chief executive officer, given the tasks that she had to perform. It was she who met me at the station in Ostrava late one evening and got me settled. From then on she never ceased trying to make me feel at home and, as I told her when we parted at the airport, I probably did not know the half of what she had done. She was always pleasant and she could show many Canadians the art of running a school. The world could use more people like her. Finally, no matter where you teach, there is always one student that stands out. In this case it was Lenka Svitkova, who not only spoke English without any noticeable accent, but was a delight to know both in and out of the classroom. It was Lenka who acted as the interpreter when the Canadian Figure Skating Team was out on their crystal-buying binge and she also acted as my interpreter on a number of occasions when I needed someone fluent to Czech to get my point across. Lenka is a credit to her family, her school and her country. There are many things about the Czechs which fascinated me. Their history and short). In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft ''c''. Sertainly, civil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriter and word prosessor keyboards kan have one less letter. Experts predikt there will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by T. This will make words like "fotograf' twenty per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would disapear. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replacing "th" with "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ziz fifz yer, ye vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru. I should hasten to tell you that the above came to me as an e-mail from a reader who "thought I would get a kick out of it". Itz purly tung-in-cheke, I m shur. culture were high on my list of interests and on a lighter note, it was nice to be able to discuss hockey with people who were every bit as knowledgeable as Canadians on the subject. To be sure, the country has a long road to go on their way from a centralized to a market economy, a road that has been made rockier by the inability of the government to correct the incestuous relationship it has with the banks and investment trusts. Having started out in fine style, the Czechs now have to play catch up with their neighbours, the Hungarians and the Poles. Just to show you how small a world it is, on the day I left I was driven to the small airport at Mosnov, near both Frydek-Mistek and Ostrava. There was one young man sitting all by himself in the waiting room. After I had said good-bye to my Czech friends, he came over to me and asked if I was from Canada. He had seen the Canadian flag on my luggage. I replied that I was. He then asked what city I was from. I informed him that it was London, Ont. "That's amazing," he exclaimed. "So am I." He was a computer technician who was in Opava, not far from Frydek-Mistek, to help a Czech company that was using the Canadian company's system. That is what I like about my life. There are always unexpected pleasures. My stay in the Czech Republic counts as one of the greatest. The short of it By Bonnie Gropp Love stories Ahh, romance is in the air! This weekend is Valentine's Day, a time for some to express feelings for the first time, while for the more jaded it can provide an opportunity to express feelings for someone long taken for granted. Love is a funny business. While no one knows when Cupid's arrow will strike it can at times seem that the boy could use some archery lessons. Why do some find their one and only with the first strike, while others continually seem off target? Why does the romantic cherub pierce a few with an aphrodisiac, others with poison? Many believe that the differences between men and women are so extreme it's a wonder it ever works. The sexes (generally) communicate on different levels and look at situations in different ways. Usually their perspectives on love and marriage are so diverse that it's perhaps little wonder one in two marriages fail. So what is the magic of the 50 per cent who succeed? Or is it perhaps just perseverance? Most people enter into a relationship with the best intentions. But few can be truly prepared for the give and take, the true selflessness that builds a partnership and a friendship that can sustain and strengthen you. Last week on television there were two amazing examples of the type of generosity and trust that help make a successful marriage. While TV, from its earliest days has gotten a negative reputation - a vast wasteland, a boob tube - there were only good lessons to be learned from first a lowly sitcom, then a real-life story of love and loss. Dharma and Greg is a comedy about two- polar opposites whose immediate attraction to each other has them getting married on their first date. (This is not the good example) Their romantic odyssey is, of course, one of discovery. Last week the introduction of Dharma's ex-lover, now friend, has Greg feeling insecure and green- eyed. Upset, he blurts out that he wants this guy, who has won over even Greg's snooty parents, out of their lives. Her response is immediate. "He is my friend, you are my husband. If his presence upsets you, then we won't see him anymore." No rants about how important the friendship was to her, nor about how unfair her husband was being. There was not even an attempt at co-ercian. It was as it should be, a caring response to a very real hurt in her life partner. The second story was about skaters Ekaterina Gordeeva and her husband Sergei Grinkov, who died during a practice in 1995. This was love that grew from familiarity. It was truly one of two hearts beating as one. On several occasions she spoke of looking at him and being amazed that this was her man. She remarked from time to time about being blessed to have his love, about having the best man in the world. Soft-spoken and genuine, you could imagine that the pair seldom said a harsh word between them. Sadly, when this beautiful young mother, widowed in her early 20s, says his death caused her to die inside, you can imagine that too. She had the perfect love, she says. They were the best years of her life. Heartbreaking, but what a wonderful story for those who no longer believe in romance and marriage. And is it possible the potential could be there for all? Arthur Black