HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1999-09-15, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 1999. PAGE 5.
Saved by a chin hair!
I am shocked! Shocked, do you hear? A
report in the London Daily Telegraph reveals
that in Britain, beards are definitely Not On.
The Brits - both males and females it seem?
- hate beards on men. A survey reveals that
readers consider unchecked facial foliage to be
a sign of deep untrustworthiness.
Recently, three bearded television ‘presen
ters' (that's what they’d call Lloyd Robertson
in England) - were discreetly encouraged to
start shaving their mugs - or look for another
line of work.
I don’t know why this should surprise me.
The British tend to be deeply suspicious of
‘unnecessary’ hair, wherever it sprouts.
Witness the headline storm last month when
actress Julia Roberts, on a visit to the UK,
lifted an arm, revealing - gasp! - an unshaven
armpit.
You’d think from the ruckus that Prince
Philip had been caught shoplifting in Harrod’s.
JULIA ROBERTS, PRETTY HAIRY
WOMAN thundered the headline in The Daily-
Mail.
“Probably some feminist statement type thing,
The Americanization
of Canada
Ever since I became a Canadian citizen, I
have been reading articles of every length and
kind about the imminent Americanization of
our country and its institutions.
If it is any consolation, we are not the only
ones playing such a theme. This is also at the
heart of the separatist movement in Quebec
and it is hard to pick up a newspaper in France
without finding something about the threat
that American culture and business practices
pose to France.
As far as maintaining a distinct society is
concerned, Canada and Switzerland have a lot
in common. Most of the 8 million Swiss speak
German, but just north of the country are 80
plus million Germans, not to mention the five
million German-speaking Austrians to the
east.
It is a battle in Switzerland to keep the
German influence to a minimum.
If that were not enough, the 1 1/2 million
French-speaking Swiss are separated by a
border from 50 plus million Frenchmen while
Ticino, the small Italian-speaking canton,
faces 50 plus million Italians.
You can just imagine the foreign influence
coming from all sides.
It struck me, even back in the 1950s that
Canada was a great deal like the United States.
It is difficult to distinguish between our
English and that spoken by a good many
Americans.
When in Europe, Canadians are regularly
being taken for Americans to the point where I
have, for years, used English as little as
possible.
Most of the movies I saw then were made in
Hollywood; most of them still are. By and
large our food was and still is similar as are
our clothing styles.
Yet there are differences here just as there
are differences between the Swiss Germans
and their neighbours.
Canadians are somewhat more conservative
in taste than the Americans. They are more
rather than laziness, but it still looks bloody
awful,” harrumphed a columnist in The Star.
Puh-leeze.
I may be out of the mainstream, but I happen
to find underarm hair in women a bit of a turn
on. It's a sign of sexual maturity, and what’s
wrong with that?
Never did understand why society decreed
that half the human race should have armpits
resembling a plucked Christmas goose.
But if plucking pit hairs is perverse, what
about a social custom that encourages the
other half of the human race to scrape the fur
off their faces?
Ever stopped to wonder why men endure
this barbaric daily ritual?
And why just the jowls? If hair is so
objectionable, why not shave our eyebrows?
The sides of our noggins?. The whole
damned skull?
In case you haven’t yet twigged, I wear a
beard. Have done since 1972 when I faced the
bathroom mirror for the umpteenth gazillionth
morning with a face festooned in Gillette
Foamy, looked into my own bloodshot eyes
and asked myself: “Why the hell am I scraping
my face?’’
Couldn’t come up with an answer, so I
By Raymond Canon
concerned for the common good of the
country which leads to all sorts of equalization
programs.
We have a totally different attitude toward
guns and their use and many of our institutions
are of British or French origin rather than
American.
We are considerably less prone to flag
waving, more ready to compromise and are
considered to be one of the most polite people
in the world. In the eyes of others we win
hands down compared to the Americans.
Finally, our politics are not as right wing.
The Americans have nothing even close to a
social democratic movement as we do here.
To sum all this up, one of the most apt
statements I have read to date refers to former
U.S. President George Bush, who stated he
wanted his country to be a “kinder, gentler
place.”
In essence, it was pointed out, he was
thinking of Canada as a blueprint.
If we want to start somewhere to keep
Canada Canadian, as it were, we might stop
being so negative about our country and take
more pride in it. Judging from some of the
letters-to-the-editor, you might be forgiven for
thinking that we live in Bangladesh or
Panama.
I recently got a book from Switzerland
written by a Swiss and entitled “Canada -
Oasis for Investors and Immigrants.” All
Canadians who are negative about our country
should read it. (I’ll lend them my German
dictionary).
Any country which can be designated six
years in a row by the United Nations as the
best country in which to live can’t be all bad.
Free trade will not sell us down the river nor
will our common language with the
Americans. What we have to do is support
Canadian culture of all kinds, not to mention
the various aspects of our way of life that we
I 1
A Final Thought
If you don’t know where you are going,
you will probably wind up somewhere else.
- Laurence J. Peter
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scrapped my scraper and haven't shaved since.
In 28 years, I have detected virtually no
Canadian beard bias - aside from a couple of
blue-haired old dears in Thunder Bay who
thought my whiskers identified me as a card-
carrying Bolshevik.
Hey - The Fathers of Confederation,
Robertson Davies, Farley Mowat, David
Suzuki - Canadians have a warm and
distinctly un-British appreciation for facial fur.
Or, more precisely, for the fact that you can't
judge the quality of the floorboards by the
depth of the broadloom.
Let’s say the average man spends five
minutes a day shaving (don’t forget, some
bluebeards shave twice a day). That’s 1825
minutes a year.
Over the 28 years that I haven’t shaved, I’ve
saved 51,100 minutes.
Or, 851.6 hours.
In other words, I’ve added a little over five
weeks to my lifetime, just by not shaving.
Had I been British, I would have been
encouraged to spend those five extra weeks,
lathering up my mug and scraping off hairs.
To paraphrase an old tea commercial: “Only
in Britain, you say?”
Serves ‘em bleedin’ right.
have here and that we consider worth saving.
We can’t do it all at once but we can single
out those areas where we as individuals can
make a positive impact. Many Canadians are
doing just this right now!
If there ever comes a day when our
Canadian way of life goes by the board, it will
be because we have let it go, not because we
have had it taken away from us.
Letters
Letters to the editor are a forum for public
opinion and comment. The views expressed do
not necessarily reflect those of this
publication.
THE EDITOR,
Any reader who is at least 35 years of age,
will likely know exactly where they were and
what they were doing on Sept. 28, 1972. That
day, Paul Henderson scored the “Goal of the
Century” in the last game of the first Canada-
Russia hockey series.
If you remember that date 27 years ago then
you will want to be in the Zurich Arena on
Sept. 9, 1999 at 7 p.m. for the International
Plowing Match Church Service (IPM ’99).
Our guest speaker at the IPM ’99 Church
Service is the same Paul Henderson who made
hockey history in 1972.
That goal changed Paul’s life forever. He is
not only a national hero but also a devoted
Christian, a lay minister and a gifted
motivational speaker. Henderson will share his
remarkable testimony at this service.
Music for this service will be provided by a
mass choir of 300 Huron County voices.
Service leadership will be provided by nine
capable young adults from nine different
denominations.
Three sign language interpreters will be
present, and the Zurich arena is wheelchair
accessible. Everyone is welcome to worship
with us.
Sincerely,
Bruce Whitmore
. IPM ’99 Qhurch Service Chair.
Set an example
They drive too fast. They drive under the
influence. They use drugs. They know the
risks — why are they so stupid?
How many times as an adult, have you
wondered these things about adolescents?
And the rationale is always the same — with
ingenuousness, and youthful high spirits they
believe they are immortal, invincible.
So what's our excuse? We have, I'm afraid
not always been the best example.
Last week, a family friend dropped dead of
a heart attack at the age of 52. He loved life
and lived it and if anyone had told him he was
going to die so young, he would have, as any
of us, resented it. Yet, knowing he was at risk,
he continued to smoke, ate foods high in
cholesterol and enjoyed a fairly sedentary
lifestyle.
This is, believe me, not an attack on the type
of person he was, intelligent, charming, fun to
be with. But to varying degrees guilty, as are
most of us, of an insouciant disregard for
personal well-being.
This puzzling aspect of human nature
dawned on me recently while speaking to the
team member for this year's Terry Fox Run.
He spoke a good deal about being responsible
for one's own health, making sure you
understood medically what your body needed
by being informed and educated on what to
ask. But he also noted the common sense fact
that if you know what to do to keep yourself
in good health, you should do it. Maybe it's all
his years as a car dealer, but he's a believer, he
says, in preventative maintenance. Take care
of things and they should run well for a long
time.
Ask me and I'd tell you I intend to live a
long, vigorous life. As a matter of fact, I
delight in promising my kids they are going to
be putting up with me for at least another 50
years. Yet, I find excuses for all kinds of
foolish habits.
I know for example that I feel infinitely
better, more alert, energized if I follow a
stringent, though not necessarily intense,
exercise routine. But I am, you see, far too
busy to fit it in.
I know for example that late-night, fatty
snacks are the bane of my hopes for a sleek
existence. Yet, I must be allowed some
indulgences in this world, right?
I know for example that I drive much too
fast, but I'm always in a hurry and I’ve only
got so many hours in th^day to get everything
that needs to be done, done.
But, it's not just with regards to physical
care that we take unlimited tomorrows for
granted. Don’t put off that note of forgiveness.
Make that phone call to an oft thought of, but
seldom seen relative. Have lunch with an old
friend. Take your kids on a long talked-about
excursion. Give yourself that much promised
day of indulgence. Allow yourself a few
minutes each day for a deep, cleansing breath.
It's all good for the soul.
And fortunately, good for the soul is good
for your health.
I know few people who don't think of life as
a precious gift. It is therefore remarkable that
there are so many who then treat it with the
feckless capriciousness of youth.