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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1999-06-23, Page 5Arthur Black Profit and floss It’s probably escaped your notice until now, but 1999 marks the 100th anniversary of many wonderful things. It was a century ago that the world first saw the famous painting ‘La Modiste’ by Toulouse-Lautrec. Puccini’s opera Tosca was first performed in 1899. The American author Thomas Wolfe was bom a hundred years ago; Oscar Wilde died in the same year. Oh yes ... and dental floss. The world was given the gift of dental floss exactly 100 years ago. My crack team of researchers was unable to determine which recreationally-challenged mouth-jockey it was who discovered this peculiar brand of dental torture, but the reference books agree - it occurred in 1899. Which by my reckoning means that we’ve all been suffering Dental Guilt for 10 straight decades. Because let’s be honest, folks: we don’t floss. Not every day, day in,, day out, morning, noon and night, the way our dentists tell us we must. International Scene Those confounded statistics There is nothing like an election to bring out an enormous amount of statistics, most of which are utterly meaningless. I am well acquainted with such situations since economics doesn’t seem to know how to get along without them and I am forever having to try to put data into some sort of context. Job creation or loss is a favourite. It is all very well to make the statement that so many jobs have been lost or created but that fact alone says little if anything. The number of jobs in any one industry is always in flux and these changes may be due to any number of reasons. Even these may vary from month to month. To blame somebody or some government for job losses is next to useless, as is the claim that governments frequently make that they, and they alone, have been responsible for creating employment. Maybe they think that there are a lot of gullible people out there and they may well be right. Let’s take a few examples in my realm of activity. There has been considerable crying about the number of Canadian firms bought lately by foreign corporations. This is due mainly, it is claimed, to the low Canadian dollar. This fact may well be true, but to go on to We floss religiously one half hour before we keep our regular dental appointment, and for anywhere from one day to one week afterward. Then, the dreary chore of jamming one’s fingers into one’s gob and trying to force a slippery piece of string around the eighth bicuspid gets to be too onerous to bear. The floss dispenser goes back into the bowels of the medicine cabinet and we forget about it until our next dental appointment. Well ... sort of forget about it. We suffer sporadic guilt pangs. I know I’ll get mail - a couple of dozen indignant letters from readers who insist they do, too, floss fervently after every snack. Okay - 24 Canadians floss their teeth correctly. The rest of us are backsliders. It’s hard to say exactly why - I doubt that anyone contests the fact that Flossing Is Good For Your Teeth. Studies have shown that mouthwash, tooth brushes or the comer of a matchbook just can’t match the simple efficiency of giving every peg in your head a brisk rubdown with a piece of floss. We avoid it at our peril: non-flossing leads to such Cronenburgian horrors as gingivitis, gum recession and jawbone decay - not to mention bad breath, yellow fangs and eventually dentures - and yet we resist flossing. By Raymond Canon state that we are losing control of our economy is totally without foundation. Do you ever hear the other side of the story? At the same time that this alleged disaster is taking place, Canadian firms are actually doing more buying in other countries than foreigners are doing here - about $6 billion more in fact. They do this mainly to develop their own foreign markets, to avoid foreign tariffs and restrictions still in place in spite of the World Trade Organization and NAFTA. In almost all cases, such purchases, which go by the name of direct foreign investment in economic jargon, result in a greater amount of business for Canada. Unions are one organization who love to play with statistics. Their favourite ploy is to remind us how many jobs have been lost due to NAFTA. I need not add at this point that they are totally committed to opposing the pact. It goes without saying that jobs have been lost from NAFTA; that was a given even before the pact was signed. However, do they ever let us know how many jobs have been created by the same pact? Does the CAW make public how many jobs have been lost in the auto industry in spite of the union’s best efforts? If the exchange rate of the Canadian dollar drops, you can count on some organization claiming that we are going to hell in a hand basket while another organization will be claiming, equally forcefully, that the drop is great for their industry. The truth is that a drop does both harm and good and, when mention is made of the drop, It's partly an image thing. It is very hard to look cool—even to yourself - when you’ve got both hands in your mouth up to the knuckles, sawing away at a back tooth. And it’s not something you want to witness in public. I remember watching a couple of yuppies in a Toronto restaurant who, after their meal, deftly whipped out identical floss dispensers and started buffing their choppers, hovering chunks of Fettuccine Alfredo all over the tablecloth. Not a pretty sight. But it’s no more attractive when some businessman hauls out a handkerchief, buries his beak in it and proceeds to honk like a drug- addled goose. We accept that without a peep. Why are we so down on flossing? I asked my dentist about it one time. He’d just finished giving me my semi-annual dental roto-rooting and was delivering the post- traumatic litany about the importance of Regular Flossing. “Aw, come on, Jim,” I whined. “Flossing’s such a pain. Don’t try to tell me I hafta floss every tooth in my head every day of my life?” “Of course, not,” he purred. “Don’t worry about flossing every last one of them, for heaven sake.” “Just floss the ones that you want to keep.” both sides should be pointed out. The same holds true when the exchange rate decides to go up. Finally, the latest controversy is over the question of productivity of Canada compared with other industrialized countries and especially the United States. The OECD office in Paris, France, recently came out with a rather gloomy report saying that Canada’s productivity growth was less than that of the other major nations of the world. Hardly was that out when Statistics Canada reported that this was not the case; ours was actually better than that of the U.S. You can guess what has happened. Everybody is quoting the one that best suits their purpose. Lost in the argument is the distinct possibility that each report is based on a different set of criteria. What should be kept in mind is that productivity is a key factor when it comes to improving the standard of living in a country, be it Canada or anywhere else. There is an old saying in business of letting the buyer beware. Perhaps we can change this slightly to read that, when looking at a set of statistics, let the reader beware. Both are equally true. I I A Final Thought Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success. - Joyce Brothers THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 23,1999. PAGE 5. The Short of it By Bonnie Gropp Surprise! What did you get your father for his big day on Sunday? There’s something about getting Dad that special gift for Father’s Day that causes turmoil. Merchants report dismal sales, card store staff say when it comes to sending Dad a message, there aren’t as many lining up as for Mother’s Day. For their part, we’ve all seen our fathers wear that pasted on smile as they open yet one more tie, one more soap on a rope. It’s not that we don’t lave them as much as we love Mom; it’s just that they’re dam hard to buy for. It’s not that they’re hard to please; it’s just that for some reason we don’t know what they want. It’s not that they expect too much; it’s rather that their tastes seem too minimalistic. Actually, my father is one of the easy ones to please. When in doubt, his sweet tooth makes chocolate a sure bet and his summer pastime means golfballs will never go amiss — lost later perhaps, but never amiss. But I know, for my kids, finding something special for Dad can be a challenge. Affordable and to his tastes narrows the field drastically. His penchant for classic cars and snowmobiles is a little out of the budget. He likes to be busy, but doing things that offer some challenge, some communication, not just more work. He enjoys being outdoors and appreciating the world around him. And if they do perchance hit on an idea then it tends to get repeated year after year, until ultimately it becomes predictable. Taking all this into account, something greater must have decided to take matters into hand and give Dad a unique surprise on his day of honour Enjoying the lovely weather and the company of family, Mark took a little tour around the house. A detour behind our backyard “clubhouse” resulted in the discovery of a large hole beneath the floor. So now he had the challenge and a task. Placing the water hose into the space, it was just a matter of minutes before he was rewarded by the appearance of a healthy- looking skunk, who waddled, insouciantly, through the backyards to another secluded spot. Obviously after some investigation, and deeming this place more preferable than her suddenly damp quarters, she returned and beckoned out eight little babies, five of which followed to their new home. Forgetting their pungent potential, the three little innocents that remained behind collected their share of admirers while waiting for mom to retrieverthem. Dad got his chance to not just appreciate young life but enjoy some socializing. Family and neighbours lined up to watch as these curious critters ventured beyond the shelter to explore without any apparent fear, taking particular interest in the big, two-legged critters who were so captivated. Sometime later, Mama Skunk waddled back to pick up the rest of her offspring leaving us to get on with our day. Obviously, we were glad to see them depart, and hope they won’t become tenants again. But for a brief time on a lazy Sunday afternoon, they were a breath of... .. they were a challenging, though adorable surprise for Father.