The Citizen, 1999-04-21, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 21, 1999. PAGE 5.
Arthur Black
Name your poison
The name of a man is a numbing blow from
which he never recovers.
Marshall McLuhan, the old Canuck crystal
bailer, made that observation, and he didn’t
know the half of it.
The Other Half, for starters. McLuhan never
mentioned that women can be blindsided by
the names their parents give them just as easily
as men.
I know a woman whose parents called her
Pamela. She married a guy named Anderson.
Pamela now calls herself by her second given
name - just to avoid the drearily predictable
flavwnrc/i/hooters jokes.
Funny, how names swim in and out of
fashion. You don't see as many kids named
Brittany, Tammi and Tiffany as you did 20
years ago.
Then there are the names that hang right at
the back of the fashion closet. How long has it
been since you met a Lazarus, an Ezekiel, an
Ebeneezer or a Lucasta?
Popeye's perennial galpal pretty well
took the bloom off "Olive" as a girl's name.
Bugs Bunny’s nemesis, the hapless
Mister Fudd, made "Elmer" an unlikely choice
International Scene
By Raymond Canon
Thespian thoughts
I would presume that many readers are able
to associate the word thespian' with the theatre
but how many know where the word came
from?
Not surprisingly, it is of Greek origin since
modem theatre owes a great deal to the drama
developed in ancient Greece.
At any rate, the word comes from the name
of the actor Thespis who played an important
part in the development of this theatre.
In its early years tragic plays were
characterized by the presence of a chorus and
Thespis decided that drama should be more
than just a group of people orating on a stage.
He established a leader of the chorus who
eventually developed into the independent role
of an actor.
He was rewarded for this creation with a
prize at the festival of Dionysis (God of wine)
established in 534 B.C. His prize was nothing
less than a goat which brings up another
question.
Why, you may ask, did the Greeks attach so
much importance to a goat that it was first
prize in a contest? Well, this same animal had
played a central role in the earliest Greek
drama.
Frequently the chorus was made up of goat
like satyrs, who were demigods formed of
half-goat and half-man. These satyrs
eventually took on more lewd or lustful
characteristics but that is another story. Just to
give the audience a bit of variety, the chorus
for boy children.
Then there are the perfectly good names that
have been sullied by notoriety. Nobody calls
their kid Oswald these days - or Lee or
Harvey, come to that.
And thanks to the infamous butcher/fuhrer.
Herr Shickelgruber. I seriously doubt that the
name Adolf will ever be popular again.
Now. there's a new entry positioned for
enshrinement in the Rogues' Gallery of
dubious appellations.
Monicas of the world - come onnnnn down!
You know it's true - thanks to one Bimboid
social climber and a Chief Executive with
raging hormones where his brain cells ought to
be, the perfectly good name of Monica
has taken on decidedly unwholesome
connotations.
Anne Bemays, author of a book called The
Language of Names, predicts: "I expect we
will see an undeclared moratorium on baby
Monicas for at least the next 30 years."
Which doesn't much help the Monicas who
are already in the world.
They still have to put up with the smutty
jokes and the knowing leers of the humorously
challenged they meet every day.
Not that the innocent Monicas aren't fighting
back. Two Milwaukee lawyers have founded a
group called Monicas With Attitude, dedicated
to the other Monicas of the world who, says
could also be a group of mere-mortals who
performed for a prize which was a goat.
It is not surprising that the original meaning
of the word 'tragedy' is "goat-song."
Let me conclude this little narrative by
stating that, once Greek drama had its first
actor, a second was not long in coming. He
was created by the first of the big three of Gree
kdramatists, Aeschylus, a move which further
diminished the role of the chorus.
The latter got pushed even more into the
background when Sophocles, the second of
this trio, added a third actor and the format of
modem drama was finally in place.
Nor should we forget the fact that these
dramas were performed in the open air. Some
of these theatres still exist, over 2,000 years
later and, when I visited a couple of them, I
could not get over the acoustics. The audience
used to sit on a small hill which surrounded
about three-quarters of the stage and so seeing
was no problem.
Not that there was any real action; that
seemed to happen off-stage.
You might wonder how the audience could
hear but hear they did. Surely these acoustics
must be considered as yet another wonder of
Greek theatre.
I must admit at this point that I used to feel
not too far from the Greeks when I attended
the Stratford Festival in its early years. You
will recall that it was held in a tent (I still have
a piece of it) and the dialogue was punctuated
by the whistles of CN freight trains and, on
occasion, pelting rain and thunder but at least
we did not get wet as did the ancient Greeks.
Furthermore, we are accustomed to seeing
the mission statement "will band together,
celebrate their names in a positive way and
develop activities that will preserve and
promote the good reputation that so many
previous Monicas have ehjoyed."
Well, all 1 can say is, if your name is Monica
- good luck. The Monica Jokes show no sign
of waning.
On the other hand, it could be worse. How
would you like to be the poor 24-year-old
Polish girl named Monika Lewinska?
Ms Lewinska is now a Missus. She got
married last month. Never in the history of
human matrimony was a woman so glad to
shuck her maiden name and take her
husband's.
I suppose all we non-Monica-monickered
citizens of the world can do is commit
ourselves to rise above the common
braying masses. We need to resolve that we
personally would never sink to the
reprehensible level of promulgating
sophomoric, schoolboy jokes at the expense of
our fellow humans.
I know that I, for one, would never stoop so
low.
Psst: You hear about the woman who calls
up the Bell operator and says: "I want to call
Santa Monica, please."
And the operator says: "Why - just because
he’s a little chubby?"
female parts played by females; those readers
who have seen Shakespeare in Love which did
not do too badly in this year's Oscar, will
realize that all roles at that time were played
by males. This is something else that came
down from the Greeks; the writers of the
above movie were undoubtedly taking poetic
license when they had Juliet played by a
female.
Those of you who have bravely ploughed
through this discourse may be wondering by
now where I am heading. Simply this; it is my
way of calling attention to all the fine theatre
we have during the summer in southwestern
Ontario. While we may think of Stratford and
the Shaw Festival in Niagara on the Lake, the
list does not stop there by any means. There
are excellent performances to be seen both at
Blyth and Grand Bend. When you have tried
those, you can move on to such places as
Drayton, Petrolia or Port Stanley.
Given that the exchange rate is not very
favourable right now, this summer might be as
good a time as any to stay at home and see
what these theatres have to offer. You could
well rub shoulders with Americans who know
a good thing when they see it and have come
up to enjoy it.
A Final Thought
I'd rather be a failure in something that I
love than a success in something that I don't.
George Burns
The
Short
of it
By Bonnie Gropp
Pleasantly good
for you
Hedonism is my habit. I like the idea of
pleasure as the proper focus in this world. Life
is too short to not follow pursuits that help you
enjoy it to the fullest.
But what I find unjust is that many of the
things that happen to feel so right, are actually
not. This revelation came to me the other day
as I revelled in one of my passions. Rich,
tantalizing, decadent, it tempted me. I at first
fought the urge, for about two minutes, then
gave in to the moment. I savoured the brief
delight, the smooth, sweet taste of the
chocolate bar, then when it was gone, tasted
the sour beginnings of guilt.
It struck me how many of the things I find
most pleasurable, really aren't that good for
me. I have a passion for chocolate and potato
chips, and I shamelessly admit to a fondness
for wine. I enjoy my coffee, black, of course,
and prefer a good movie to an aerobics
routine.
Eyen my habit of sunbathing has become a
bad thing. The depletion of the ozone layer
means sun's soothing rays are less a balm for
my aching bones, than a reason to apply bum
ointment.
A little mental exercise was called for. This
realization had been a trifle depressing, so I
needed to come up with some practices of
mine that, though immensely pleasurable,
actually benefitted me in some way.
One thing that came almost immediately to
mind was reading. I love books. I love to lose
myself in books.
One of my favourite weekend activities
happens each morning, hopefully before
anyone else is up and about. After a quick
tidying up, having thrown a load of clothes in
the washing machine, my reward is at hand. I
grab my coffee, hop into a chair that swaddles
me in cushy comfort, and read. There is little
else in this world that helps me forget tiny
troubles as surely.
I don't remember a time when I didn't like to
read. I can remember most of my favourites
from decades past and am often challenged to
try and find them to revisit.
I was just a teenager when I discovered
D.H. Lawrence's infamous Lady Chatterley's
Lover . The effect it had on me, like many
books I read, was enough that I found it
worthy of a second and even a third look.
Remembering this particular classic recently, I
sent my eldest, a second-hand bookstore
sleuth, to see if he could find me a copy, which
he did. As a result I must say this past
weekend's date was delightfully risqud.
Making a date with a good book is the
suggestion behind this year’s Canada Book
Day, April 23. Primarily to encourage the
works of Canadian authors, the day, organized
by The Writers' Trust of Canada, also
encourages the giving of books as gifts.
Coinciding with World Book Day, it is
essentially a massive celebration of books, so
why not join in.
No one needed to tell me books are worth a
party. Some of my best gifts and some of my
best dates have been books. And what's most
satisfying is that something that brings so
much pleasure is actually good for me too.