HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1996-08-21, Page 5Arthur Black
THE CITIZEN. WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 21, 1996 PAGE 5.
Death
the last great
obsenity
I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't
want to be there when it happens
Woody Allen
Ah, Death. The last great obscenity. We
can prattle about sex jn the schools, drugs in
the House of Commons and Bingo in church
basements...but just drop the word 'death' at
a cocktail party and watch the tummies
constrict and the eyes bug out.
Pity. It's an appointment we all have to
keep, sooner or later.
I think the world could do with a lot less
solemn reverence around the topic of death.
I think we need to loosen up a little. We'll
stiffen up soon enough.
There are all manners of ways to die. You
can do it playing cards. The actor Buster
Keaton expired during a game of poker. The
singer Al Jolson did it while playing gin
rummy. The most spectacular death at the
card table belongs to James Butler Hickok.
"Wild Bill" was in Deadwood, North Dakota
playing his last hand of poker when a
cowardly gunslinger wannabe walked up
behind him, pulled a Colt 45 and blew Bill's
The chances
of finding a job
The story is told of a peasant who goes to
the local priest to get advice on saving his
dying chickens. The priest suggests prayer
but the chickens go right on dying.
The priest then recommends music for the
chicken coop but to no avail. Confronted
again the priest opts for painting the hen
house in bright colours. Unfortunately all the
chickens die.
"What a shame," moans the priest. "I had
so many more good ideas.
I often think that many young people look
at the advice that we give them with the
same point of view as that of the peasant, but
I have been challenged to make some
suggestions to young people facing the
dreary prospect of finding a job and, for
better or worse, here is my contribution.
It may be small consolation but
unemployment is a problem all over the
industrialized world. It is worse in Europe
than in Canada and better in the United
States. In fact the American rate of
unemployment is about half ours, with the
European rate being about two per cent
more. The first thing to remember is that
there are jobs out there, but you are more
likely to find them by getting out and
looking than by waiting for any government
organization to come up with them.
I often hear it said that the jobs are not the
ones that you might like to start out in, but
what else is new. From the day when I first
brains out.
You've heard the expression "laugh — I
thought I'd die?" The Greek painter Zeuksis.
could tell- you all about that. About 2500
years ago Zeuksis whipped up a portrait of a
somewhat eccentric woman he knew. The
finished canvas struck him as so hilarious
that he fell to laughing and couldn't catch his
breath.
Never did. Zeuksis died laughing.
About 200 years earlier, a Chinese poet by
the name of Li Po met an even more bizarre
end. Li Po was inordinately fond of two
pastimes: rowing his boat and drinking wine.
One night in 762 AD, he combined the two,
going for a little boat trip out to the middle
of a pond while under the influence. Li Po
got so lugubriously enrapted with the
reflection of the moon upon the water that he
leaned over the gunwale and tried to kiss the
reflection. He lost his balance, fell in the
water and drowned.
You just never know when Death will
come a-knocking. Or how. The Emperor
Claudius was supreme ruler of the known
world — but he was killed by a feather.
Claudius was surrounded by relatives
(including his wife) who were anxious to
send him off on his final journey, whether he
was ready or not. They tried poisoned
mushrooms, but they made Claudius sick.
That was when a royal physician was
ordered to stick a feather down the emperor's
throat in order to induce vomiting.
Claudius' wife had seen to it that the
By Raymond Canon
started looking for work this has been the
case more often than not. What young
people in both Europe and North America
are discovering is that the best way is to take
a job not totally to your liking and gradually
work in the general direction of the field you
want to be in. .•
The two things to develop are to be
flexible and to learn good work habits.
These will stand you in good stead at all
times.
The Americans are especially
entrepreneurial and it shows in their lower
rate of unemployment. One avenue may be
to start your own business, first of all
making sure you have a product or service
which is in demand. I have just finished
reading an interesting report of two people in
Germany who did just that and who are well
on their way to achieving their goals.
Nobody is more proud of their language
than the French. It also shows. Young people
in this part of the world tend to take theirs
for granted and it shows too. This blinds
them to the fact that there is a continual need
in the business world for people who are
articulate in both spoken and written
English. I can assure you that, if you have it,
it will show up in any interview you have
and don't fool yourself for a moment in
thinking that it is not important.
Education in the United States is in worse
shape than in any other country in the
industrialized world. What has been
discovered there and I would presume
elsewhere, is that people coming into the
workforce need a good basic education more
than anything else.
It is all right to specialize but let's not get
feather itself had been dipped in poison ...
and that was the end of the line for Claudius.
Lots of military types die by the
instruments of their trade, be it bullet, bomb
or bazooka fire. Jean Baptise Lully died by
the instrument of his trade too. The
difference is, Lully was a music composer.
He was killed by his own baton. Actually it
was a sharp-pointed walking stick, but Lully
used it as a baton. While conducting his
orchestra, Lully lunged downward with his
stick, piercing his boot and impaling his
foot. The wound developed gangrene and
Lully died.
You might say he orchestrated his own
finale.
All these unlucky souls — and then there's
Timothy McGregor. His neighbours in
Brisbane, Australia called him Minster
Lucky because Tim cheated death more
times than a cat. He crashed his plane and
walked away. He survived two serious auto
accidents. He was hit by lightning. He even
contracted cancer and beat it.
Nothing could bring Timothy McGregor
down, until that camping trip he went on.
When McGregor came back he was feeling
poorly and went to the doctor. Before they
could even get him to the hospital, Timothy
McGregor died.
They figured out what killed him though.
McGregor had died of malaria. The man
who had lived through cancer, car wrecks, a
lightning strike and a plane crash...
Was killed by a mosquito bite.
carried overboard in this respect. Companies
often tell me that they are prepared to train a
person after he or she starts work, but they
want people who have got something on the
ball from an educational standpoint.
Don't be too proud to learn from
immigrants. I often hear it said they are
prepared to do things in the workforce that
native-born Canadians are not. This is said
in a negative way but it should not be. See
what they are doing that makes them
successful; you may learn something of
value to you.
In all the countries of the industrialized
world the number of manufacturing jobs has
declined over the years and has been
replaced by service jobs. That may end up
being your domain and for this reason you
might learn what handling people is all
about. When my wife went to Switzerland
with me for the first time, I asked her what
she noticed most that was different from
Canada. She replied without hesitation that
she got far better service. If you are handling
people in your current job, part time or
otherwise, see how well you can treat your
customers. It pays.
You may have been led to believe that you
are the only generation who has had to go
through all this job-searching agony. The
media tends to suggest this; don't believe it
for a minute. Most generations go through
their own difficult version of looking for
jobs. When I entered the labour force it was
difficult in Europe and not much better here.
Unemployment statistics are notoriously
inaccurate in the eyes of most economists.
Just keep in mind that, regardless of what
Continued on page 6
The
Short
of it
By Bonnie Gropp
A world of beauty
There is a lot of ugliness iti this world.
Without looking too far we can find the
seamy, the disgusting, the vicious, the evil
and unattractive.
Beauty may only be skin-deep, it may all
be in the eyes of the beholder, but it is
something I try to find daily. The occasional
butt-ugliness of society is tolerable, I
believe, because we are also exposed to
examples of true beauty.
People obviously like to be surrounded by
the aestethically pleasing. It is not just that
we prefer perfection, it lifts our spirits. We
find it in many forms from a simple line of
poetry to an omnipotent mountaintop view.
There's nothing complicated in what I
perceive to be beautiful. A romantic, for me
it comes naturally to try and discover the
symmetry in a situation, the harmony in any
tune, or the loveliness in places or faces.
And I not only usually find it, but have come.
to know that it can shelter me from the
sordid, can help me forget when
remembering is unpleasant.
The elegance of Pachelbel's Canon in D,
the charm of On Golden Pond, or the
passion of Byron are so easily accessible.
And yet, in a world where entertainment is
the bloody and lusty Pulp Fiction, when
music is mayhem and poets talk angrily of
cop killing, you just might wonder if beauty
is lost.
Last week I rented Mr. Holland's Opus. I
did not expect company while watching this
one because I knew it wasn't a 'cool' choice.
That fact was brought home when, as I left
the store, a group of young men asked what
movie I had. After hearing, they good-
naturedly emitted varying sounds of disgust.
This one is obviously an adult movie —
no violence, no car chase - no kidding. I
spent two hours watching a harmless story of
love, family and music.
The loosening ties of censorship have
provided people today with the opportunity
to see and hear things they couldn't in years
passed. As it should be, art is freedom to
express yourself. It is, however, not just a
way to have your say, but has become an
outlet for aggression. Movies and music
promote violence obviously because the
audience craves it. It is a rare occurrence,
indeed, to view a movie without some grisly
action, to hear a song without obsenities.
But, while I wish it weren't so, I do try to
find the good, whether it's in the message or
in the talent of the messenger.
I like modern music. I like some of today's
films. But I am very happy that I was raised
in a time when shows Iike State Fair and
The Graduate were the order of the day.
Then there was an acceptable diversity of
life's pleasure. It wasn't corny to go to
concerts in the park. It was better than okay
to spend an afternoon just watching the
clouds.
I learned to be entertained in a patient
way, to enjoy days from beginning to end
without an assault of noise and visual effects
on my senses. Because innocence was in
vogue, I was able to develop an appreciation
for the beauty of simplicity. If I could do
one thing for my children it would be to help
them find the same treasure, so they would
have that many more opportunities to
unearth the world's attractiveness.
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