HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1997-10-22, Page 6PAGE 6. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 22,1997.
Foster Parents’ Week
October 19-25,1997
Family
offers
love and
security
By Bonnie Gropp
Citizen staff
It's evening in the Smith
household, the end of another busy
day.
With four children tucked in bed
for the night, Lynn Smith now
begins the nightime routine of
laundry, selecting food for lunches,
and clothing for the following day.
Lynn and her husband Doug, who
live at RR3, Bly th, have been foster
parents for the past eight years.
While they have cared for some 15
children in that lime, they now are
providing the love and security of a
family environment to four, ages
five to 13, all of whom suffer from
attention deficit disorder (ADD).
Doug says this additional
challenge is what Lynn thrives on.
"Lynn wants the children with high
needs. It may mean more work, but
it's the most rewarding, too."
The needs of challenged children
is not unlike those of an infant,
Doug says. "You can see them grow
under Lynn's nurturing. It's not
always easy, we have had a lot of
things broken in this house."
Though Doug admits he struggled
for a time with the disruption, Lynn,
he says, never missed a beat. "My
wife is so gung-ho, it's catching.
She just loves it and after a while I
realized that it comes down to
what's more important — a
beautiful home or a child."
The decision to become foster
parents was Lynn's, after raising the
couple's own children, Michel, now
22 and living in Hamilton,
Jaqueline, 20, a youth and child care
worker student at Centennial
College in Toronto, and Teresa and
OAC student al F.E. Madill.
"Il got to the place where, with
the children in school, Lynn wanted
another interest," Doug said.
Lynn explained, "When the idea
of fostering came up, I knew I
would far rather do that than go
outside the home and work."
Initially the Smiths
requested babies to
care for. "I did enjoy
them. It was nice, but
after awhile I thought
that school age
children would give
us a little more time to
ourselves," Lynn said.
"I really didn't want
to get into special
needs. The first call
we got for a
developmentally
challenged child was
because they had no
where else for him to go,
so we said yes. Now, I'm
really enjoying them."
One thing the Smiths
have always tried to do,
Lynn says, is to only
have foster children who
are younger than the ages
of their own children.
"It's tough to share Mom
and Dad with an older
child. Kids don't always
understand. Our children
have always been
accepting of the foster children. I
think if you asked any one of them
what they felt it had been like
growing up in this atmosphere, they
would be positive," Lynn says.
"The fact that two of them want to
pursue careers in child care speaks
volumes I think."
Being a caring foster parent is
hard work, and with provincial
trends moving the way they are the
work may get harder, Lynn thinks.
"This is definitely a job. And now,
it seems that the more fostering
there is, the more cutbacks there
are. It seems we're always going
into a crisis and, I think it's going to
weed out any people who are just
looking at the program for grocery
money. When you take a child out
of their home they come with a lot
of baggage. If the foster parent can't
help them work through the
transition, if they don't know about
loss, about behaviour, they're going
to leave fostering fairly quickly."
Fewer workers, she says, will
ultimately mean more will be
expected of the ones left.
"Foster parents are now part of a
team. Like the social worker, they
can be called to testify in court. It is
no longer about being a parent
looking after a child, it is about
being part of a child-welfare team,"
says Lynn.
As an avid supporter of foster
parenting, Lynn, who is president of
the Foster Parents' Assocation of
Huron, has become an advocate.
Lynn Smith enjoys some quiet time with one of
her four foster children.
She has worked with the
Association in trying to obtain a
more-fair compensation rate for its
members. "Presently every agency
is different. We want something
standardized. We are working now
as paraprofessionals."
In the past, foster parents literally
worked themselves out of pay. "If
you had a special needs child, you
worked with them in treatment, you
got paid accordingly. But when
they're gone you receive less. We
want a plan for all-Ontario where
you are at the same levels as the
others with your experience and
training."
So what does Lynn's work
involve? Up at 6:45 a.m. she begins
wake-up. Clothes have been laid out
the night before. The bathroom time
is co-ordinated. As ADD, means the
children have difficulty
concentrating, each step, from
brushing teeth to showering, is
displayed on a chart.
While one of the children makes
her own breakfast, Lynn must look
after the other three. Independence
is stressed so each child is expected
to make his or her own lunch. As
the children have difficulties
focussing, Lynn has, the previous
evening, gone through the
refrigerator and using a chart from
the Children's Psychiatric Institute
in London, puts stickers in each
food group so the children can make
their own choices for a well-
balanced lunch.
Lynn co-ordinates
and assists them with
putting the lunch
together. As one of
the children's fine
motor skills are not
developed, plastic
wrap is out of the
question. "We have
mountains of plastic
containers, and
everything must be in
the same place all the
time."
"It is about day-by-
day things that you
would never give any
thought to," she
explains. "But
imagine if I took
away your planner
and said cope for a
day. They live this
every day, all day."
Because ADD
children are visual
learners, everything,
from shaking hands
to taking a trip must
be shown to them in
sequence, says Lynn.
Before the bus comes to take
them to school, the children spend
time reading, listening to music or
playing quietly. "It's just an
opportunity to relax."
Two of the children are more
challenged than the other two so the
school bus travels up the Smiths'
long lane directly to the back door
to pick them up. "The oldest would
lose his way before he got to the
end of the lane," Dou^ says.
When the children come home
they are responsible for setting out
their homework or any other
communication from school on the
table for Lynn to see. They empty
their lunch bags and enjoy a snack,
before getting to homework.
After that it's time to prepare
supper and Lynn says, "We still
expect the developmentally delayed
to do chores so they help. Because
the house changes with the number
of children there, I put placemats on
the table, so the one setting the table
knows how many will be here."
"They like to be in the kitchen
with me and helping. They are part
of a family and chores are an
important part of being in a family.
Years ago these children would
probably have been in an institution,
but foster parents' program knows
that families are the best thing for
them."
Following supper and clean up,
the children, "Mommy" and
"Daddy" enjoy some playtime,
outside if possible doing games that
improve their social skills.
The bedtime routine begins
downstairs with some settle down
time. The next picture on the chart
shows them that the time has come
to move upstairs, where it's back to
focussing on what needs to be done,
says Lynn. "For a lot of children
who are developmentally delayed
transitions from play to bedtime
will bother them. The chart lets
them know what transitions are
coming and what's going to
happen."
Lights are out at 8 p.m. then Lynn
gets busy with the other aspects of
running the house.
In addition to the time she spends
with the children at home, Lynn is
also busy with training sessions at
the agency and running a monthly
support group. She does general
meetings four times a year, visits
the office in her capacity as
president once a week, prepares a
newsletter and takes the children to
extra-curricular activties.
"And they say this is a volunteer
job," she smiles.
With a houseful of children who
need structure, how does Lynn cope
when there is a change in
pattem?"If we go away for
example, the important thing is they
come along. They are part of this
family, loved and cared for as a
whole person. So we do charts
showing each step of what is going
to happen, right down to a pit-stop
at a restaurant."
"And when a woman there
compliments me on my well-
behaved children (as happened on a
recent excursion) that means a lot to
me."
The affection Lynn has for her
children is tangible. So how
difficult is it when her job is
complete and they move on?
"Children come into foster care for
several reasons — as a means of
helping a stressed parent, to give a
parent time to take a break and leant
better ways to discipline and for
parents who will never be able to
cope. Some you feel good about
them going home, if you know you
have helped and they are returning
to a safe environment."
"Deep down you want what the
child wants. As a foster parent I am
an advocate for that child's needs. I
have my own children. I didn't get
into fostering to adopt, but to help.
But while they are here they are a
part of my/amily."
"I love my job. I like to see kids
happy, relaxed and enjoying life.
Home
hardware
burner’s |)ome ^arbtoare
Come in and meet
Drew Turner
Employee of
Turner’s Home Hardware
Our friendly service
will keep you coming back
YOUR SIMPLY MOBILE REP
24 Albert St., Box 99 Clinton (519) 482-7023