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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1997-10-08, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 8,1997. PAGE 5. The The good side of getting fired The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning, you're on the job. Slappy White Ever been fired? I don't mean downsized, dehired, streamlined or any of the other weasel euphemisms currently in vogue. I'm talking about flat-out, in your face, slam dunk canned. Where somebody with a bigger desk than yours looks you in the eye and tell you, "We Don't Want You to Work Here Anymore." I have. No one could call it a pleasant experience, getting fired. It's hard on your wallet and on your self-esteem. It's been 25 years since my old boss Stricker in the Globe and Mail advertising department called me into his office and ominously closed the door behind me. I remember now that everybody in the office was looking studiously down at their desk as I disappeared into the inner sanctum. They already knew what I was about to learn. A quarter of a century and I can still feel the humiliation. No hard feelings, mind you. Stricker was absolutely right to fire me. As a newspaper advertising salesman I was a total disaster. Each workday morning I'd exit the Globe and Mail office with my fellow salesmen. Like button-down lemmings we'd march out ■international Scene Getting rid of garbage I recently read in the Watford Guide Advocate that the town was charging its residents for the service of taking away garbage. I would presume that there are other municipalities that also levy a charge, but the majority still take it away free; that is, the cost of getting ride of it is supported by taxation. At any rate the economics of doing it one way or the other has caught the attention of two American economists who have been studying the situation very carefully over the past year. Their findings are interesting in that, like many other situations, they are not what you might think. Under the "free" situation it does not matter how much you put out; it is taken away without any additional charge. Yet, the cost to the taxpayer does not remain the same. If people put out much more garbage, it costs the municipality extra to get rid of it, either in wages, additional equipment or landfill sites. The logical solution would be to give each household two free bags of garbage; anything over that would have to be paid for. This would, it is assumed, force people to throw out less and recycle more. It did not quite of the office, briefcases at our side to "make calls" on prospective customers. Actually, we usually slipped around the corner and into a greasy spoon where we sipped bad coffee and told worse jokes. Then about quarter to ten we'd all straighten our ties, check our shoeshines, grab our briefcases and hit the pavement. The other guys went off to make their calls just as good salesmen are supposed to. I pretended to be doing the same thing but after a furtive glance or two, I strolled a few blocks to a poolroom where I shot eight ball until the movie houses opened. Or I went to the YMCA and ran laps on the indoor track. Or checked my briefcase in a bus station locker and wandered around the museum. Anything but sell advertising. I hated selling. It couldn't go on of course, and it didn’t. After just a few weeks my dismal performance came to the attention of my boss and the rest was history. As was I. And it's taken 25 years for me to realize that getting fired was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Because imagine if I’d turned out to be a hotshot — or even a mediocre — salesman? Chances are I would have stayed in that line of work. Chances are I'd be selling ad space today. And still hating every moment of it. Besides, it turns out that getting fired can be a good sign. A story this week in (oh, sweet irony) the Globe and Mail notes that some of the great figures in history got the sack on their way up. Albert Einstein was unceremoniously fired By Raymond Canon turn out that way. The two economists studied the effects of a scheme introduced in Charlottesville, VA, a city of about 40,000 people. Residents had to buy stickers, each worth 80 cents, and only bags with the stickers on them were taken away. Right away it became apparent that the 80 cents did not even cover the administration costs. It did certainly reduce the number of bags of garbage put out - by 37 per cent, but much of this was put down to what was called the "Seattle stomp." If you are puzzled as I was about this expression, it refers to the city of Seattle which also introduced garbage pricing. However, it was noticed that this pricing was accompanied by people cramming more rubbish in each bag, about 40 per cent more. When the garbage was weighed, it was found that the true reduction was 14 per cent, not 37 per cent as indicated above. Also discovered was something which can be described as illegal dumping. Some households stopped putting any garbage out and this, the economists calculated, probably accounted for about one-third of the 14 per cent reduction mentiofied above. What also happened was that some people decided to dump their garbage illegally rather than have to pay for it. While the exact amount of such activity is hard to measure, the economists calculated from the number as a young man. Thomas Edison was too. Henry Ford got the hook. Even late-night yapper David Letterman and diminutive sex guru-ess Ruth Westheimer each got pink slips before they got famous. Makes sense when you think about it. You can't put a size 10 foot in a size eight shoe. People who are unhappy in their work are going to do a lousy job. And bosses are always on the lookout for people doing lousy jobs. In the selling game, lousy performance shows up pretty quickly. I also remember now how my colleagues, the other salesmen, lived in dread of "the monthly roundup". That's when Sales Manager Stricker toted up all the advertising space that had been sold, and by whom, and handed out congratulations to the hotshots. And a private closed-door, one-on-one 'chat' to the also-rans. Nobody wanted one of those 'chats'. And the fear of them gave rise to a paranoid hatred of Sales Manager Stricker. I still remember one morning in the coffee shop, six or seven of us sitting around waiting to start the day of 'making calls'. The talk turned, as it often did, to What I'll Do When I Win The Lottery. Ronnie, one of the quieter ones, surprised us all by saying, "The day after I win the lottery, I'm coming down to the office and I'm gonna pee all over Stricker's desk." Everybody laughed. Everybody except Danny. "Not me," said Danny. "I plan to hire someone to do it for me." of households who no longer put out any garbage that the illegal dumping made up about one-third of any reduction. Spurred on by their discoveries, the two economists carried out a second study. One conclusion they came to was that price does reduce the weight of garbage but not by much. On average, a 10 per cent increase in sticker prices led to a three per cent reduction in garbage. They expected that charging people to remove garbage might lead to a greater level of recycling. This did not prove to be the case at all; encouraging people to recycle and having the necessary bins for such purposes could do the job just as well. All this is not to say that charging to remove garbage is counter-productive, say the economists. Picking up garbage for nothing is arguably too cheap. However, the seemingly simple policy of introducing a charge for such a service lead to results that are frequently rather complex, not to mention unexpected. All this leads to one of my favourite dicta in the classroom. There is no such thing as a perfectly positive economic measure. A Final Thought Slop living on Grumble Comer and move to Thanksgiving Street. It takes a professional It turned out, I suppose, to be a complete waste of my time. It was going to be a quiet evening the other night as I got into 'comfies' and settled in to watch a movie I had taped earlier that day. It was a suspense story, that for two hours would serve no other purpose than to hold my attention, no other goal than prepare for a satisfying conclusion. Thus, imagine my dissatisfaction when the movie stopped and began to rewind. I had run out of tape before the ending. Time is valuable today and I think you'd agree that filling it with nothing to show at the end is frustrating. To be left with the feeling that you've missed something, that all the time spent was for naught, just isn't any fun. So imagine if you will the thousands of young unemployed teachers out there. These people spent years aquiring the knowledge they were told they must have. They sacrificed social time, family time and perhaps even gainful employment, to take the path their heart was set on. They gave endless hours of hard work and study to achieve the certification that made them qualified to educate today's youth. And now, with the job done, they find they don't have one. And if the provincial government has its way, you have to begin to wonder if they ever will. Physical education, computer-related courses and technical studies are just some of the areas, where Bill 160 would allow non-teaching professionals into the classrooms. This is obviously going to mean fewer jobs out there for those already unemployed educators. Perhaps there are some places for the talents of non-teachers to be utilized, but quite frankly I can't believe it's in classrooms of 30-some kids. (Which Mr. Snobelen, is a little closer to the average size than the 22 you have mentioned). A computer expert may have the technological wizardry, but what does he know about the phsychology of young minds? What would he understand of the ability for children to be cruel, to be unfocussed, to be depressed? And what will he think when he's faced with a roomful of rambunctious kids who would rather be anywhere than where they are? Could local sport figures teach phys ed, I wonder? Now, while I find myself inundated with limitless examples (??) I go on the record saying that the day a former hockey coach comes in to teach my kids, is the day I finally say that phys ed should no longer be compulsory. I've got to think that the only MPPs who could possibly vote in favour of this have no children in school. If they do — what the heck are they thinking? Educating the future is not something you play around with. Government perhaps needs another reminder that they are employees of the people. In good faith we elect the people we believe will do the right thing. For this government to suggest they or anyone else knows more about education than those in the field shows an arrogance that’s terrifying. Teachers aren't all perfect. A few don't use their prep time properly. A few make more money than they deserve for the job they do. But ultimately, when it comes to teaching they're among the best we've got. They are, after all, the trained professionals.