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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1997-08-06, Page 5Arthur Black THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 6,1997 PAGE 5. Student Blooper Phenomenon Kids say the darndest things Art Linkletter book title They certainly do - and nobody knows it better than the star-crossed professionals who get to spend most of their working hours with our kids - their teachers. Teachers get to mark tests and examinations, and that's where the teachers learn that some kids don't retain information quite as efficiently as others. Hence the Student Blooper Phenomenon. Herewith a collection of some of the more outrageous howlers committed to paper by our little darlings. SCIENCE WITH A VENGEANCE We get our temperature in different ways. Either fairinheit, cellcius, or centipede. One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500feet in one second. A molecule is so small it can’t be observed by the naked observer. Famous people of science don't escape the swipe of Bloopism. One student wrote that The Law of Gravity was passed by Isaac International Scene By Raymond Canon Sexual bias Women who have the strong feeling of having been subject to sexual bias in one or more of their job applications will be interested to note that a recent study by two female microbiologists at Gothenburg University in Sweden reveals that discrimination is alive and well in their field. The two scientists, Christine Wenner as and Agnes Wold, had to go to court to get the necessary data since the appropriate organization, the Swedish Medical Research Council, did not want to give out any information regarding who had said what about whom in the evaluation of applications. The court declared that such information could be made public under the country's Freedom of the Press Act. This is what the two scientists found. Of the 114 applications reviewed, 46 per cent were women. However, only 20 per cent of the successful candidates were women. In the same year about half of the doctorates awarded in biomedical sciences were women which is about par for the course in that country. Why, then, were women less than half as successful as men? To discover this, the next step was to look at the criteria used by the reviewers. Of the three main criteria, women received less than average scores with the lowest being in the field of scientific competence. To see if women were really bumbling scientists, the two researchers then developed a system of measuring competence which could be applied to both men and women. To Newton, while another insisted that the Russian Pavlov was famous for studying the salvation of dogs. Young students seem to have an even shakier grasp of biology. In a class report one child wrote, "Our biology class went out to explore the swamp and to collect little orgasms." And another juvenile chronicler recorded, "In biology today, we digested a frog." You want to hope that these kids don't choose a medical career: The big artery in your neck is called the jocular vein. The pelvis protects the gentiles. A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, two molars and eight cuspidors. The heart beats faster when you are younger, average when you are middle age, hardly at all when you are old, and not at all when you are dead. THE ZOUNDS OF MUSIC Music sung by two people is called a duel. A harp is a nude piano. My favourite composer is an opus. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music. A very liked piece is the Bronze Lullaby. PUTTING THE LITTER IN their surprise they discovered that women who were on the same level of competence as men were consistently given lower scores by the evaluating committee; these scores were not just lower, but much lower. A further study revealed that two things were likely to improve one's chances of being hired - knowing one of the reviewers and being male. In order to get the same competence score as a male, a woman would have to either know someone on the committee or have published three more papers than a man in one of the country's two highest journals or an astounding 20 more papers in any of the other journals. It is often joked that a woman has to be twice as good as a man to do well; the two researchers discovered that she would need to be, on average, no less than 2.5 times as good to be rated as highly as a man. In Sweden, although almost half the doctorates in biomedical fields are given to women, more women than men leave at all later stages. This is generally explained as women either not being properly motivated or else lacking the perseverance to work in a male-dominated scientific establishment. It could well be that the reason for the departures are due to the causes unearthed by the two researchers. I should like to point out that this is only one study in one country. It is, however, the first major study to unearth the causes of discrimination and it takes place in a country which has a long record of promoting sexual equality. If it can happen in a country such as Sweden, how much more likely is it to take place elsewhere? The Americans have wasted no time in setting up their own investigation with the National Science LITERATURE Shakespeare was famous for writing and performing, tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies. Shakespeare wrote his plays in Islamic pentameter. A great Jewish leader in Scotland was Rabbi Burns. I like the story "The Last of the Moccasins". In Ibsen's "Ghosts", Oswald dies of congenial syphilis. Jake Barnes, in "The Sun Also Rises" was injured in the groin region, and was impudent for the rest of his life. And then of course there's history - ancient and modem. One student noted that Rome was invaded by The Ballbearings. Another explained that the Bolshevik Party was led by John Lennon. Any my favourite - a student commenting on fashion in Ancient Egypt: Early Egyptian women wore a garment called a calasirus. It was a sheer dress which started beneath the breasts which hung to the floor. Man, if that didn't make Egyptian guys impudent, nothing would. Foundation doing the work. It is to be hoped that other countries will follow suit. In the meantime one astute observer has suggested that ambitious women might do well to re-activate a supposedly obsolete tradition and apply for a position using a male name. It is a sad day that such subterfuge should even have to be practised in a supposedly enlightened age. Looking hack Continued from page 4 Wingham in 1860, created works depicting life in rural Huron County. 16 YEARS AGO AUG. 5,1981 Morris Twp. celebrated its 125th birthday with a weekend full of events. Matthew Shortreed, son of William and Valerie Shortreed earned top spot in the baby contest. Other winners included Michelle Lynn Thompson, Ainslea Joan Livingston and Terry John Nichol. Items on sale at Snell's Grocery, Blyth, included: bananas, $.33; celery stalks, $.59; lemonade, $.49; two pounds of chicken breasts, $3.89 and bacon, $2.09. Barbara Kerr, Sandra Billson and Janis Bisback and families joined 7,000 parents and health leaders from 30 countries for the Eighth International Conference of La Leche League in Chicago. Linda Cunningham took part in a two- week, inter-province 4-H exchange with Nova Scotia. She is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Tom Cunningham of RR1, Auburn. A Final Thought Work just a little harder at your job. You might get some praise, but you'll certainly get more satisfaction. The The buzz word "There is just such a buzz in the air." Finally after an exhaustive June and July I had an evening last week to myself, to walk downtown Brussels and take a look at all the photographs and memorablilia in the merchant' windows. My son, who accompanied me on this stroll to the past, was absolutely right — there was a buzz in the air. In our quiet village, where the normal nighttime traffic is courtesy of the local teens, the main street had become electric. There was something to see and an excitement generated by the village's upcoming 125th anniversary that, while not exactly tangible, was no less perceptible. And it was not restricted just to downtown either. People were painting and planting, cleaning and clearing, fraternizing and flag­ waving. Pride in the community had made it again a living, breathing thing. Let's face it. All our small towns are suffering from a serious case of apathy. A pick-me-up like this past weekend's Brussels Homecoming is a wonderful opportunity to get some upbeat juices flowing through the brain. Company was coming and it was a time to clean house. But there was so much more to it than that. Looking back on the dedication and hard work it took for our forebearers to build these pioneer settlements was an inspiration. Remembering past celebrations, the fun and sense of camaraderie, of family that pervades the festivities was warming. There was good-natured ribbing among old friends, shared memories and recollections of other times. But there was also a sense this past weekend, of showing to the visitors, not just a good time, but what it means to be part of this community today. Small town we may be, but we have something to offer and organizers made sure that people got the chance to enjoy some rural hospitality served up with cosmopolitan energy. From morning to night it never stopped and people left with an idea of not just how much fun they had, but how so much was accomplished by so few. The question now, is what next? Is there any way to keep the enthusiasm rolling? Hank TenPas, a former village reeve asked the same question at the Thursday evening talent show. Why not keep the momentum going? It almost worked once. A decade ago following the 115th, promoters suggested an annual event — FunFest. For several years this party, like the Rutabaga Festival in Blyth, enjoyed a degree of success, but volunteers, tired of Tilling all the shoes every year, eventually called a halt. It was unfortunate for both communities that some way of keeping them going, without wearing out a select group of people couldn't be worked out. The problem is that maybe earlier celebrations tried too hard to do too much. Focus on one drawing card, like the classic car show for example, would inspire other ideas that tie in — simplistically. Rather than a grandiose theme, think modest, then build. Maybe, just maybe, a little of that buzz could be kept going.