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The Citizen, 1997-06-18, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 18, 1997 PAGE 5. Splatology There is no new thing under the sun Ecclesiastes 7.9 Well, begging your pardon, O Learned Scribes, but there is one brand new thing under the sun. A whole new science, ift fact. Mark Hostetler invented it. It's called Splatology. Hostetler is an entomologist with the Department of Zoology at the University of Florida. That means he collects and studies insects. What separates Hostetler from his bug-grubbing colleagues is where he collects bugs. / Hostetler scraps his specimens off windshields. Or collects what's left of them - after they've gone splat! Hence the name Splatology. His favourite collecting ground - Hostetler's Olduvai Gorge, if you will - is the main bus terminal in Gainesville, Fla. That's where the big Greyhounds roll in after driving hundreds of miles across the American south. That would be ... the American insect- infested south. Greyhound buses have windshields as big as pool tables, which means that on any given run, those buses um, 'interface' with an awful lot of bugs. "During some months," Hostetler recalls, "the front end was International Scene By Raymond Canon Health care dilemma One of the biggest problems facing the Canadian people is that of maintaining an effective health care system. Due to our government's realization that they have to live within their means, the money for this system is being squeezed at a time when people are fearful of losing any of the services to which they have become accustomed. Long and loud are the complaints about how the government is going about maintaining a system that will take us into the next century. If we believe in the old adage that misery loves company, we have plenty of it. No matter where you look, you will find governments in the same fix as those in Canada; at a time when they are required to rein in government spending, they are looking at a health care system with costs that are climbing out of sight. Why is this the case both here and abroad? One of the main reasons is that the entire system is getting more expensive to operate. A treatment that cost, say X number of dollars a decade ago now costs two times or even three times that. MRI's, scarce as they may be, do not come cheap either in the initial price or in their operation. This is a microcosm of what has been taking place and about all the health care experts whose assessments I have read either here or elsewhere take the same approach. We cannot have a 1990's treatment at 1970's prices. It may take a while to sink in but there are an increasing number of senior citizens in Canada as there is everywhere else in the western world. Whether we like it or not, seniors require more than the average amount of medical care and they expect to get it, crisis or no crisis. To give you one example, 50 years ago life practically covered with insects! I had a fantastic time collecting specimens." Not that he didn't tum a few heads in the Gainesville Bus Terminal while he was out there, crawling around the front ends of Greyhounds clutching his tweezers and his specimen jars. Hostetler remembers one kid tugging at his mother's arm and asking "Mommy...why is that man scraping bugs off the windshield? Is he crazy?" Crazy, no...definitely touched. Hostetler undeniably caught the 'bug' bug. He decided that the Gainesville Bus Terminal wasn't enough. He had to go out there in the North American wilderness and meet those insects on their own turf. And so in the summer of '94, Hostetler set out on a cross-continent tour in his 1984 Honda, specially rigged up with a catch sheet to trap the carcasses of insects that ricocheted off the windshield. Hostetler piloted his mobile bug catcher from Florida up to Massachusetts, then west to Detroit and Chicago, up to South Dakota, across to Seattle, north to Vancouver and then down California, across the southern U.S. and back to Florida. He drove through mountains and prairies; through swamplands and suburbs. As you can imagine, he hit a lot of bugs along the way. So many, in fact, that they inspired a book. It's called That Gunk On Your Car and it's dedicated to the proposition that all those expectancy in France was 63 for men and 69 for women; today a man at 60 can expect to live another 20 years, a woman another 25. That fact alone can drive health care costs through the roof and it is doing precisely that in France. Mind you, the French are the most hypochondriacal of people; they go through pills the way we go through donuts. One independent study showed that senior citizens are likely to cost eight to 11 times more for health care as are those, younger than 50. The British, who are as strapped for health care funds as most nations, perhaps even more so, are wondering out loud if some services currently provided should be removed from the list. Such things include cosmetic surgery, tattoo removal and breast augmentation. Some sections of the country have already cut back on the number of vasectomies, hysterectomies and circumcisions. Several states in the U.S., where health care costs are by far the highest in the world, have already made a list of what they will treat and what they will not. When you hear of a new drug that has considerable success in treating a specific ailment, you seldom ask what the cost of it will be, nor do doctors when they prescribe it. People want the best and demand it. The British found that one such drug, beta­ interferon, which is used to treat multiple sclerosis, would by itself use no less than 10 per cent of the country’s drug bill if it were to be given to all those who might benefit from it. That sort of treatment neither we nor the British can afford. All countries are responding to the increase in non-staff costs by closing hospitals and cutting employees in the medical centres that do remain open. This is being done even before studies are completed on how to provide existing health care services more efficiently. What looks like cost cutting frequently isn't; it is simply shifting money bugs that go splat on your windshield are worth more than a muttered curse and a quick spritz with the windshield washer. For one thing, according to Hostetler, each bug produces its own, species-distinctive splat. Mosquitoes usually leave a small grey­ black dot. If there's a spot of blood in it - congratulations! You've taken out a female mosquito (they're the ones who bite us humans). Butterflies and moths go out with a thick white or yellow gunky splat. And that's enough of that. Suffice to say that Hostetler has compiled characteristic bug-splat images for 25 different kinds of insects ranging from flying ants to mole crickets. And why? Why would a guy choose to spend his spare time analyzing insect impact patterns on windshields when he could be running for office, selling crack or writing advertising copy for hemorrhoid creams? A nature writer by the name of Fred Kauffman puts it perfectly: "Hostetler shows that 'gunk' is not 'junk'," says Kauffman, "but a whole universe of small and fascinating creatures. We get to know all about the unlikely hitchhikers we collect on long car trips." Exactly. Hostetler's book opens our eyes to the universe within that speck on the windshield. That Gunk On Your Car by Mark Hostetler ISBN 0-9653788-0-2 around the system. It is tantamount of plugging one hole in the dike only to find a couple of new ones to plug. The Dutch can certainly relate to that in their health care costs. People make demands on governments to retain existing health care levels and frankly I don’t think any government on either side of the ocean has the answers, or is even close to them. What I see is a lot of knee-jerk actions, some effective, some not, but whatever the result, it is difficult, if not impossible to see where they fit into the total picture. That is the cause of many of the protests, marches and the like. What the protesters demand is no more part of the picture than what the government is offering. It would be nice if we had a more leisurely approach to health care for the 21st century, but we do not. One of the best suggestions I have seen so far is for a health tax so that all monies raised would go directly to that area and nowhere else. As it stands now very few people are able to relate what they want to what it costs. We do not even know right now what people are prepared to pay for a health system. Do you, for example, have any idea what it costs to treat you at a hospital’s emergency centre? You probably do not but how much are taxpayers prepared prepared to pay for such services? Good question! A tax would at least give us an answer, and a chance to react. It is generally agreed that Canada has one of the better services. At the present time, we are sixth in the percentage of GDP that we spend. The U.S. is far away the most expensive, while we are grouped with France, Germany, Austria and Switzerland with such countries as Sweden, Italy, Spain and Belgium somewhat behind. Regardless of where a country is on the scale, it is feeling the pinch. What a pity that it is hard to hear a voice of reason amid all the cacophony of protest. A top priority Too much has been made of it already and I vowed I wouldn't contribute to the brouhaha. But since women began baring their breasts, the issue has been getting exposure at every gathering I've attended, so I guess it's a lop priority. First, I should say that in theory I agree women have as much right to take off their tops as their male counterparts, in some cases more. Many's a time, the sight of a beer- bellied, hirsute man, with only a Speedo bikini leaving anything to wonder about, has made me think of covering up — my eyes. The problem is, you see, that there is nothing indecent about the naked human form, male or female. It's just that some are better suited to clothes and should be gracious enough to accept it. The whole issue poses a lot of interesting thoughts and questions. Right or wrong, there will be men, who no matter how frequent the exposure, will never see breasts as anything other than sexual. This makes women vulnerable to harassment. Just because men should know better doesn’t mean all of them do. Neanderthals will ogle and if you want to go topless, you had better not only expect it, but accept it. And actually, being as the human body is a natural thing, not to be hidden, but admired, the oglers maybe aren't so evil. I know that a well-built male physique can certainly capture my attention, and I don't consider myself a pervert because of it, but rather someone with an appreciation for beauty. The irony is, however, that it generally doesn't seem to be the aesthetically pleasing who are jumping onto the bare-breasted bandwagon. Now, as long as a person feels good about the way they look, who are we to say otherwise. However, 1 must shame­ facedly admit that I am surprised by some of the people willing to strut their stuff in public. I am not shy, nor uncomfortable with nudity. But I am also a realist. Things are not as they could be, I have flaws and my vanity likes that clothing creates an illusion I am quite happy to perpetuate. Some mysteries are better never uncovered. And, there is a time and a place for everything. Last week two different bars in one Ontario city reported that women had removed their tops while there. One bar manager said fine; the other said get dressed. Hearing this report on the news, my warrior, like so many other men today, who are continually trying to figure out what's sexist, wondered, "They can't make her do that, can they?" Well, other than on the patio at a beach bar I have never, on any occasion, in all the years I've frequented hotels, pubs, etc., seen a man remove his shirt. So, not only do I think they can tell people to put it back on, but I certainly hope that in places where I eat and drink they continue to do so. I have no argument against baring in your backyard (though I'm sure the schoolkids next to mine, might not agree) or, sun screen considered, being bare-breasted on the beach. It's really just about a little common sense, tolerance and respect. Unfortunately, there will be some who prefer the notoriety or shock factor. There are, after all, always people eager to make boobs of themselves.