HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1997-05-28, Page 26PAGE 26. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MAY 28, 1997
For Teens, By Teens
Calling all blondes
Lost World: lost cause
By Mark Nonkes
If tornadoes, volcanoes and
aliens haven't scared you, then
nothing will - right? But, in Lost
World perhaps the dinosaurs will.
Ever since Jurassic Park, people
have been wondering what the
sequel might be like. Michael
Crichton wrote the sequel novel
Lost World which was released in
1995. I decided to read the book
before I saw the movie, so I
borrowed a copy from a friend. I
was almost finished, about 35
pages left, before I actually saw the
movie.
We arrived early at the theatre
because we expected the line up to
be long. I was really excited
because the book was fantastic up
to where I had read.
As the movie started, I was
surprised that I didn't recognize the
opening scene. In the book we
didn't get an indication of the
dinosaurs until 50 - 60 pages into
the story. In the movie we see
human and dinosaur interaction
within the first few seconds.
As the movie proceeded, only
one of the characters from the
book, Ian Malcolm played by Jeff
Goldblum, showed similar
personality traits. The rest of the
movie was a combination of scenes
they had left out when producing
Jurassic Park and the screenplay
writer's imagination, whom I may
point out was not Michael Crichton
author of the book The Lost World
where the movie was supposed to
be taken from. Some of the scenes
with the dinosaurs had the same
idea but many were totally
different.
My opinion about this movie,
since I was reading the book, is
low. There were several tension-
filled scenes, but only once did
they scare me.
There are two other things about
this movie I didn't like. First, while
Jurassic Park had showed some
nice creatures - especially the
brontosauruses, not just the mean
and vicious T-rexes raptors and
other dino-villains, in this movie all
the dinosaurs were predators, all
vicious. Secondly, the screenplay
of Lost World was very similar to
many of the latest action thrillers
showing man against nature such as
Twister, Independence Day and
Vo/cano.
As you can tell, I would
recommend the book over the
movie, but, my pals who hadn't
read the book thought the movie
was great. So, I say if you haven't
read the book go read it or go see
the movie, but, if you have the read
the book, prepare to be
disappointed.
By Erin Roulston
I was bom a blonde. All my life
I've been hearing blonde jokes, and,
sadly enough some of them are
actually sort of funny!
So, here's a collection of the best
(or worst depending on how you
look at it) of them all.
Q: What do you call a blonde with
half a brain?
A. Gifted!
Q. How do you make a blonde's
eyes light up?
A. Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde's
been using the computer?
A. There's whiteout on the screen.
Q. Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A. They can't find the zipper.
Q. Why did the blonde scale the
glass wall?
A. To see what was on the other
side.
Q. What do you do when a blonde
throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. How do you amuse a blonde for
hours?
A. Write "Please turn over" on both
sides of a piece of paper.
Q. Do you know why the blonde
got fired from the M & M factory?
A. For throwing out the W's.
Q. What does a blonde say when
you ask her if her blinker is on?
A. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
It's on. It's off.
Q. What do you call it when a
blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence. (Any
body who has seen me lately will
find this one particularly funny.)
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Monday, May 12, No Doubt
performed at Maple Leaf Gardens
in Toronto. Their opening bands
were the Vandals and Civ.
The show started with the
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