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The Citizen, 1997-04-30, Page 25THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 30, 1997 PAGE 25. For Teens, By Teens Say, did you hear the latest about . . . ? By Ashley Gropp Have you heard about Jane? Everybody's talking about her and Mike... While you find gossip in every walk of life, high school's definite­ ly a breeding ground for rumours and gossip. Although most are harmless and unbelievable, some have the potential to ruin the per­ son's life for years. Interestingly enough, the most damaging rumours tend to be the most By Mark Nonkes For your whole life you've been waiting for this day. The day you get your driver's licence! The first step towards this was writing the G1 multiple choice test. Next is practice driving with your parents, and sometimes other family members in tow - and listening to the constant, "watch By Erin Roulston After I wrote an article about teenagers and smoking, a few of your parents told me they wanted to know about sex. Imagine that. Your parents want to know about sex! I must say, it's a little more difficult to walk up to some stranger and ask them if they are sexually active, than it is to ask them if they smoke. A few people got a little defensive. I spoke to about 20 teenagers, from the ages of 15 to 18. About a dozen of them were virgins, seven were sexually active. Of the non-virgins, four said they were glad they did it; they enjoyed it and didn't regret it at all. One girl said she totally regrets doing it. She was 16. She didn't love him, but she had sex with him anyway. She doesn't even know why. Two people said they enjoyed it, but they wish that they'd waited, not necessarily until they were married, but until they could at least handle all the emotional baggage that came with it. Emotional baggage is one of the reasons given for remaining a virgin. Physical baggage as well. A common concern among guys and girls is teenage pregnancy. With so many young girls with swelling stomachs, it's painfully obvious that accidents do happen. One girl I spoke to said "I don't think I'm mature enough to have sex until I'm MICROTECH COMPUTERS CANON - HEWLETT PACKARD 10 KING STREET CLINTON ONTARIO 519-482-3363 AUTHORIZED IPC DEALER unimaginative. In discussion with other adoles­ cents, the majority of rumours going around at any given time, seem to be based on sex. Maybe you heard that Amy was pregnant or that Erin and Sam had sex at a party even though Erin's boyfriend is John. You might ask who would say these things and why. Most of the time rumours are spread by girls. out" and "slow down". Then there is the optional step, taking Driver's Ed. Finally you go for the big step and make the appointment for the Driving Test. As you call to make the appointment, you hope for an early date and a nice instructor. You continue to practise hour after hour to make sure you have mature enough to take care of a baby." Some people have their religious reasons, but most agreed that moral reasons carried more importance. They felt that waiting until you're married just so you won't go to hell is a pretty stupid reason. Of the virgins I spoke to, seven plan to wait. A few of them doubted that they would follow through, but that is what they plan. Many said it just seemed less complicated if you wait. No chance of pregnancy, or diseases; not having to worry about whether they will still respect each other in the morning. Some people plan to wait, but not until they are married. They want to be in a loving relationship. They want to be sure they can trust their lover, and know them well. Some people I spoke to just want to get it over with. There's so much stress in making the decision. They'd much prefer to just do it and not have to think about it. Yes, of course there would be terrible feelings of regret, but that seems to be easier to deal with than the big decision. Teenagers have plenty of reasons to do it. Besides the obvious, there's curiosity, a way to show your love, a way to impress your friends, a way to prove that you're mature. Experts say there are a number of reasons why. Some rumours are spread out of revenge, some out of jealousy and some out of sheer boredom. Often by spreading a rumour, a person feels in control and superior to the person they are discussing. Why are people so willing to believe eveything they hear? Is it that people feel so insecure in aspects of themselves that to hear your turning, parallel parking, and stopping just right. Here are a few tips on things you should not do during the test. You'll probably fail if you do. 10. Don't treat your driving examiner like a therapist, don't start crying or yelling about your bad love life. Not only will you be labelled crazy, but also instead of We also have plenty of reasons not to: unwanted pregnancy, loss of innocence, too young, too irresponsible, lack of opportunity. Diseases like AIDS don't seem to be that big of a concern. Most teens will, of course, practice safe sex, but more for fear of pregnancy. Maybe it's because not many teenagers that we know, have AIDS, or maybe we all expect our partners to be virgins. Teens know the dangers, but jo some it doesn't seem worth the sacrifice. They are not going to give up jsex; they don't think they are at risk. You've all seen those TV shows where the guy says to his girlfriend, "If you really love me, you'll have sex with me." Most of the guys that I spoke to said they would never say anything like that to a girl and don't know anybody who would. Guys usually have more sensitivity than to pressures girl like that. The girls I spoke to said that no girl would fall for a line like that unless they subconsciously wanted to have sex. So, parents who are worried, it seems that your children are already very set in their opinions, and some of their ideas aren't that bad. Oh, and something else, all but one of the sexually active teens had kept it secret from their parents. of failings in others makes them feel better? There are experts who agree that this can be a part of the problem. A desire to fit in, to think the same thing as everybody else is another reason for rumours to be so easy to believe. So is the sensa­ tionalism of it. This is the same reason people buy the National Equirer: They don't actually believe that Michael Jackson's baby looks like an alien, but they want to giving you a licence they might refer you to another institution. 9. Don't honk the horn when you are waiting for the examiner to get to the car. 8. In winter, try to stay away from the snowbanks, and if you do get stuck, don't ask the tester to push. 7. Don't stick your head out the car window and make fun of slow pedestrians. 6. Don't follow a fire truck; I know it's tempting but this is your test! 5. Do not crank up the music if you hear your favourite song on the radio. 4. Try to hold your bladder no matter how bad you have to go - and don't adjust yourself either. 3. Don't speed up if you see a little animal crossing the road. 2. Even if the other guy challenges you and calls your vehicle names, no drag racing. 1. Make sure you are wearing your glasses if you need them. Without them, things may seem different from what they really are. Sidewalks become roads, trees become invisible - all sorts of things that will lead to failure. All at the new dairy bar in the Blyth General Store 523-9785 Mouth Watering & Hot - Fish Dinners - Poutine Fries - Rib Burgers Bring in this ad for your Free Hot Chocolate believe it because it's so out of the ordinary. If the nastiest rumour around school was that Betty didn't do her homework, then what would make them fascinating? When you think about it, you should feel sorry for the people who start rumours. If somebody else's life is all they can talk about, you have to wonder what's missing in theirs. BLYTH BRUSSELS 523-9681 887-9661 MDL m DOORS 887-6974 LIU (Keep the (Doors to the future, Open Beautiful Styles to Make your House a Home Available through your local MDL Dealer 143 Josephine, St., Wingham (519) 357-2191 Just what you will be looking for this winter - Cappuccino Shakes - Battered Vegetables and more