HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1996-10-30, Page 5International Scene
By Raymond Canon
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 30, 1996 PAGE 5.
Scribbling with
tongue in cheek
In Paris, they simply stared when I
spoke to them in French; I never
did succeed in making those idiots
understand their own language.
Mark Twain
Needless to say, Mister Twain was
scribbling with tongue firmly lodged in
cheek when he penned those words.
I wish I could say the same for Giovanni
Savasta.
Signor Savasta is an Italian import-
exporter entrepreneur who operates out of
the city of Genoa — which, by the way if you
plan on visiting, you should definitely pack
your own dinner cutlery.
For the past year, Giovanni has been
buying up every knife, fork and spoon he
can lay his hands on. He's got them stored in
a huge warehouse on the outskirts of Genoa.
Right now he's negotiating with Chinese
authorities to have his cutlery shipped to a
similar warehouse in Beijing.
Giovanni figures that knives, forks and
spoons in China will be bigger than the Hula
Hoop and Cabbage Patch Dolls put together.
He reckons once his cutlery pierces the
bamboo curtain, the night skies over China
will be lit up from the glow of bonfires as
millions of Chinese toss their chopsticks into
the flames.
And naturally, Giovanni Savasta thinks the
Counterfeit food
When I was down to Nova Scotia earlier
this year, I heard on the car radio a news
item about a study that had been done
regarding beef sold in supermarkets
. throughout the Maritimes. In spite of the fact
that the product was advertised as beef, it
turns out there were cheaper cuts of meat
mixed in, such as pork, turkey and chicken.
I have heard little about that since my
return, but I would assume that the offenders
are being required to clean up their act a bit.
This reminded me of stories I used to hear
in Europe about the alleged amount of
turkey sold in restaurants as veal cutlets. I
can vouch for the fact that in Switzerland
small pickerel fillets from Turkey were
being sold on markets and restaurants as
perch. It is difficult for most people to tell
the difference between a small pickerel and a
large perch but the latter is definitely the
more expensive of the two, hence the ploy.
How much horse meat is passed off as
beef is still a good question. The last two
times I have eaten horse meat were in
Payeme and Bellinzona in Switzerland, and
each time they were advertised as such. Both
times they were delicious, especially the one
in Payeme.
I know that Canada sells a lot of horse
meat in Europe and I would presume, based
on the stories I have heard, that some of it is
whole deal is going to make hini stinking
rich warp-speed quick.
As Giovanni less-than-modestly puts it: "It
was so obvious, nobody bothered — nobody
but me. I realized that these people ate with
chopsticks because they didn't know any
better."
All I can say is I hope Giovanni hasn't put
a down payment on a villa in Tuscany,
because I don't think his brainwave is going
to be quite as lucrative as he thinks.
The fact is, we westerners are pretty much
Johnny-come-latelys to the knife and fork
idea• ourselves. A couple of hundred years
ago most westerners — including royalty —
were still dipping their grubby paws into
common bowls of food and stuffing it into
their mouths. An 18th century English
etiquette book sniffs: "When everyone is
eating from the same dish, you should take
care not to put your hand in it before those
of higher rank have done so."
Mind you, it was always easy to spot
people of noble rank when they gathered
around the dinner table. The blue bloods
daintily picked out their food using just the
thumb and the first two fingers of the right
hand. We commoners ucled both fists.
No one knows how long the Chinese have
eaten with chopsticks — their use goes back
into the mists of antiquity. But the Chinese
don't eat that way because they're too dumb
to figure out how to invent cutlery. They do
it because they consider our practice of
carving food at the table to be primitive and
barbaric. The Chinese believe that the
mechanics of food preparation should be
sold as beef. When I think how much we
used to pay for beef in St. Gall I can believe
it.
But meat is not the only thing to be
advertised falsely. Sometimes the guilty
parties are so ignorant that they add
something poisonous to the product. The
most famous, or should I say infamous,
example of this took place in Spain in 1981
where 500 people died and thousands
became ill after consuming adulterated oil.
At about the same time some unprincipled
wine producers in Austria topped off their
product with anti-freeze. Those who drank it
found that their livers were in for. a rough
time. •
Olive oil comes in for its share of
attention. This market is worth about $3
billion and provides Mediterranean farmers
with a quarter of their income.
I am not exaggerating when I say that
fraud in this industry is widespread. Let me
quote one example.
Olive oil from Tuscany, Italy is considered
by experts as the best. Because of this it
demands a high price. If you were to add up
all the Tuscan oil available for sale, you
would find that it far exceeds the total
produced in any given year.
Such fraud is calculated to have cost the
European Common Market no less than
$100 million last year.
The orange juice that you drink, may or
may not be pure orange juice. One ploy is to
taken care of in the kitchen and that meals
ought to arrive at the table in portions ready
to be eaten.
Besides there's something naturally
elegant about eating with chopsticks. They
force the diner to slow down. You can't
shovel it in like a furnace stoker the way you
can with a fork. You have to take your time
and eat modest amounts.
Who knows — you might even indulge in a
little conversation.
How civilized.
I reniember arguing about chopsticks with
a friend of mine who still insists that
chopsticks are cruel and unusual punishment
for anyone with a healthy appetite. "And
those dinky teacups they give you," he says.
"Why the hell can't they put handles on them
like normal teacups?"
Well I asked a Chinese friend about that
and he smiled and said, "Our cups don't have
handles so that we can tell with our hands
how hot the tea is. If the tea is too hot for our
fingers we certainly wouldn't want to put it
in our mouths."
Er...right.
Reminds me of the story about two
mourners, one Chinese, one Caucasian,
visiting the graves of their respective loved
ones in a cemetery. The Westerner snorts in
derision as he sees the Chinese pour soup
into a bowl and leave it on the grave.
"What time do you think your friend will
come up to eat dinner?" he asks the Oriental.
"Oh," says the Chinese, "about the same
time your friend comes up to smell the
flowers."
extend fruit juice" with either cane or beet
sugar. Since sugar is cheaper than fruit juice,
this can be quite cost effective.
If you are not caught, that is. But some
are. A couple of years ago a fruit juice
company based in California was fined $10
million for "extending" its juices. A year
later the owner of a similar company in
Kentucky was put in jail for no less than
nine years for his part in an extending
scheme.
In the jam industry plums are added to
raspberries in order to produce a product at a
lower price. And so it goes.
I am reminded of one of the sayings of the
famous English poet John Ruskin who lived
in the 19th century and who was,not immune
to the extending practices of the day. "There
is hardly anything in the world," said
Ruskin, "that some man cannot make just a
little worse and a little cheaper. People who
buy on price alone are this man's lawful
prey."
Fortunately, through the magic of nuclear
magnetic resonance spectroscopy, it is
getting a bit harder to slip something illegal
past inspectors. This method uses radio
waves to induce atomic nuclei to reveal their
true nature. It was proven to be particularly
effective in determining the exact type or
types of olive oil in a specific bottle. ' •
Because of this, there will, in future, be
fewer bottles of Tuscan oil on the shelves
but what there is, will far more likely be the
real thing.
The
Short
of it
By Bonnie Gropp
Magnanimous gesture, anyone?
News may seldom be good, but I sure
could use some these days.
My desk seems to be inundated with, if
not depressing, then disheartening press
releases and letters lately. Amidst angry
protests come the calls for reason and
fairness. These in turn go relatively unheard
and everyone from middle management to
labourer expresses concern about the future
as they trudge along on a path of uncertainty,
confusion and frustration.
Each morning brings to my office more
letters, more views regarding the fate of
education and health care. Media releases
from hospital boards, municipal government
and educators expound on the likelihood of
amalgamation. A committee of local
members of council met with the MPP last
week with proof, they said, that rural areas
are adversely affected by amalgamation.
Her response indicated that while she would
pass the information on, Bill 26 (regarding
restructuring of municipalites and sharing of
service) would be voted on by mid-
November to be in place by year's-end.
Some of our hospitals may close, and law
enforcement people are stretched to the
limit.
Day-in, day-out dozens of intelligent,
concerned, irate ratepayers describe to us,
the picture the way they see it. None seem to
side with, nor see any logic to, government's
plans, yet it appears they will be rammed
down our throats with the adept swiftness of
a mob-style execution.
Most of us, I think would admit that we
have lived, the good life too long, that
something had to be done to get spending
under control, but the "We know what's best
for you" cutthroat approach the Harris
government seems to be taking strips away
hope. People are defensive and cynical.
What we need is a magnanimous gesture, a
positive motivation that would remind us
how fortunate we really are.
Last Saturday, the county's educators
travelled to Toronto to protest the
government's cuts to education. Another $1
billion is rumoured will be sliced from the
bare bones budget. It is definitely too much
to ask.
Especially, when there is only one other
place from which to take it that it won't
affect our children's learning. With teachers
salaries responsible for 75 per cent of the
cost of education, their comment that they
were "willing to march in Toronto to protect
the programs, classrooms and extra-
curricular activites of our students.", peeled
back the remaining layers of my idealism. I
couldn't help thinking why not stay in bed on
Saturday morning and donate $1,000 from
each of your annual paycheques if you really
do care about these kids.
Oh, don't get excited. I appreciate the
unfairness of this. Teachers have worked
hard and long to get to where they are today.
No one should ask them to give back their
hard earned money. Doctors aren't about to
do it for their patients, cops aren't going to
do it to protect the innocent, and politicians
aren't going to do it for anybody. No matter
how much you make, why sacrifice where
others don't?
But it sure would be the type of
magnanimous gesture that puts a smile back
into the sorry state of current affairs.
Arthur Black