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The Citizen, 1996-06-12, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 12, 1996 PAGE 5. Arthur Black A fashion note for future reference Here's a fashion note you might want to file away for future reference: a company in New York is about to market Ugly Undies. They're not calling them that, of course. The official name is the Whistle-Stopper suit. It's a lightweight foam undergarment for women and it's designed to be worn under regular clothing. A woman wearing Whistle-Stoppers will appear to have a pot belly, a flabby keister and matching thunder thighs. According to a spokesman for the manufacturer, ''Shapely, attractive women who are tired of being harassed on the streets and on public transportation can wear the Whistle-Stopper suit to avoid stares, wolf whistles and sexist comments. We expect a high demand for it, especially in the big cities." Well, I'm no fashion prognosticator but I have a prediction for the manufacturers of the Whistle-Stopper suit: Don't hold your breath. Benefits of family Those readers who are members of a closely knit family can vouch for the fact that there are a lot of benefits which can be gained from such a state; one of the most important is the security which it provides. In a world where there are so many variables, this security has taken on an added importance. For this reason some recent statistics which I came across didn't just surprise me; they astounded me. I refer to the dramatic increase over the past quarter of a century of the number of children born outside marriage. Twenty-five years ago it was something of a problem, although nothing like it is today. In 1960 there were a few countries who were encountering problems in this domain, such as Iceland, Austria and Sweden but it seems that just about the entire western world has gone right off the deep end. The ones that were bad have become worse and the rest have all seen their rates increase. Iceland still leads the pack with just about 60 per cent of all births taking place out of wedlock but all the Scandinavian countries are in the 50 per cent range, with France, Finland, Britain and the United States not far behind. For the record, Canada is in the middle of the chart at about 25 per cent. In the statistics which I examined, which report the birth rate in all the European countries plus Canada and the United States, every last country showed an increase, with I predict instant oblivion for the Whistle- Stopper suit. It is destined for the manufacturer's graveyard, fated to occupy a plot between New Coke and the Edsel. Diehard feminists might hail the Whistle- Stopper suit as a brave step forward in the War against Sexual Harassment — they might even buy themselves a couple of pairs. But they'll be the only ones who do. Women (and men too, for that matter) are simply not interested in looking any dumpier or unattractive than they have to. It flies against human nature — hell, it flies against nature, period. The name of the biological game — no matter what the species — is attraction. Flowers smell the way they smell because that's what attracts the bees, which distribute the pollen, which makes lots of new little flowers. Roosters strut and stallions snort; men wear aftershave and woman dab on Chanel Number Nine. If attraction wasn't paramount, all peacocks would wear cammo jackets. Ironically, the news story about Whistle- Stopper suits appeared in my newspaper right beside another report saying that actress Jamie Lee Curtis had just taken out a million dollar insurance policy with Lloyd's of London. For her legs. That's not a first, either. Actress Betty Grable insured her garns for $250,000 back in the '40s. Jayne Mansfield did the same By Raymond Canon Greece and Switzerland at the bottom at about five per cent. Religion does not seem to have much of an effect. The Scandinavian countries are nominally Lutheran while France is nominally Catholic. Ireland, always considered to be a strongly Catholic country, has seen a 10 fold increase in the percentage of illegitimate children. Greece has the lowest rate and it is the only Orthodox country on the list, which is not enough of a sampling to indicate the importance which religion may play. One thing is certain; it can reach up into high places. This spring the daughter of the president of France gave birth to a baby boy although she is not married to the father. Perhaps it did not raise too many eyes since it is not the first time something similar has happened. The late French president, Francois Mitterand, had a daughterby one of his mistresses although he was still legally married at the time and was living with his wife. Perhaps the French are more blasé about such things. But I don't think that the Chirac or the Mitterand family are what you might call trend setters. The figures which I quoted above show that it is very much par for the course in most countries. What is inescapable, however, is the injustice that it does to the children born under such conditions. The chances of them growing up with two parent's are mighty slim indeed. Although two out of every five marriages end in divorce, those living together without benefit of marriage are five times as likely to separate as married ones. The result? A lot of children in various states of disfunction. Having one parent may be better than no parent at all, but it puts an unfair load on thing to safeguard her twin treasures. And a while back, an actress by the name of Julie Bishop took out a $25,000 seven-year policy against gaining four inches around her hips or waist. It's a safe bet that you would never catch Julie or Jayne or Betty or Jamie Lee snugging themselves into a pair of Whistle- Stoppers. The American poet Erica Jong once wrote the shortest of all poems on the human condition. It goes: Men and women; women and men It will never work. Perhaps not — but that doesn't mean we'll ever stop trying. That's what makes the world go 'round. Science fiction writer Ray Bradbury said it even better: "There are two races of people — men and women — no matter what women's libbers would have you pretend. The male is motivated by toys and science because men are born with no purpose in the universe except to procreate. There is lots of time to kill beyond that. Women, however, are born with a centre. They can create the universe, mother it, teach it, nurture it. Men read science fiction to build the future. Women don't need to read it. They are the future." Amen, Mister B. I wonder if Ray Bradbury wears boxers or jockeys? both parent and child and, as we all know, the results are not always what we would like. It is always nice to read about someohe who has overcome these hardships and gone on to establish him or herself in society as a stable person. Unfortunately that has become the exception. Or should one forget the economic cost of all this? Part of our welfare net is made up of support for such people and this welfare net is under review in all countries as the realization sets in that this is the sort of thing we can no longer afford. Doing your own thing or the emphasis on rights rather than responsibility may be admirable as a social phenomenon in the western world. However, as we are regretfully learning it has come about at a frightful social and economic cost. With decline or organized religion bringing with it less respect for the church and its sacraments, it is a small wonder that marriage and its responsibilities no longer play the role they once did. What will it take to turn this around? Letters to the editor policy The Citizen welcomes letters to the editor. They must be signed and should be accompanied by a telephone number should we need to darifY any information. Letters may be edited for content and space. The Citizen reserves the right to edit or not print letters. The Short of ►t By Bonnie Gropp We can't always cruise with the top down There's always something to look forward to, but what happens when it gets here? A friend of mine celebrated a special occasion this past weekend. She had, as she said, "partied until the cows came home." Monday morning she was still on a 'high' and when I expressed my happiness for her that everything had come out exactly as she had hoped, she joked that that hadn't been a problem, because she hadn't really had any expectations. The day arrived and the fun unfolded. I'm just not too sure that this is generally the case, however. There are many times when we look forward to something so much that the end result can only be anti-climactic. I noted this on so many occaisons when I was younger, that I began to suppress feelings of animation over something for fear I would jinx the outcome. Likewise I would let my vivid imagination conjure up mental horrors when something was askew, in the hopes that this reverse psychology would work both ways. I think most would acknowledge, to at least some degree, that the glorious foretaste of an event can become bitter in the less than perfect aftermath. A squabble, an accident, a late arrival or bad weather are just a few of the additives that can sour high spirits. Or at the very least, that taste of a slice of life we were ready to savour was short on spice and long on bland. I had just a small taste of this recently when an eagerly looked forward to long weekend, left me more exhausted than satisfied. If there was a high point in it, it was that I spent it with my hubby and our kids. The fact that I could have done this at home without the financial hurt is not lost on me when I consider this, believe me. Now, this is not to say the weekend was a total write-off, it was actually quite pleasant, a nice interlude and change of pace. However, rain and a hectic schedule let me down just enough for me to use it as evidence of the danger of high expectations. As I thought about this while driving into work on Monday morning, it came to me that these high hopes and unexpected drops are synonymous of our time here. Some of it's good, some of it's not so good. Some of it is more than we deserve or could expect, while occasionally we wonder what on earth we did to deserve what we got. The majority of Canadians believed in the Liberals Red Book of promises, now 53 per cent according to an Angus Reid poll believe the promises are being broken. After a winter of patiently waiting, we missed spring and now warily approach summer, all ready to expect that this season too, may fail to appear. We don't always get what we want. We can't always cruise down the highway with the convertible top down. We can't have all our wishes come true. But there is one thing we can do. It's a timeless piece of wisdom that when you think about it makes good sense. If we remember that what is really important is today, if we let our tomorrows arrive without giving them more attention than they're due, then they can't disappoint us as easily. Obviously some things need planning, but just let everything else take care of itself. International Scene