The Citizen, 1996-03-20, Page 5International Scene
By Raymond Canon
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 20, 1996 PAGE 5.
Canada's
language
lacerators
Heard any good Goldwynisms lately?
Probably not. Sam Goldwyn the movie
mogul, has been dead for 22 years. And
nobody could coin a Goldwynism like Sam.
Sam's problem was that he frequently put
his tongue in motion before his brain was in
gear. This led to some paralyzingly funny
utterances. Goldwyn is the guy who said:
• "In two words: Im Possible."
• "An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's
printed on."
• "My wife's hands are so beautiful I'm
having a bust made of them."
He's also the guy who once instructed a
movie director to tell the actors to "put more
life in their dying — and tell them to stand
closer apart."
Once, Goldwyn was considering taking an
option on a rather risque British novel. One
of his advisors cautioned: "Mister Goldwyn,
I don't think you'd want to make a movie
about that story. It's about two lesbians."
"So what?" countered Goldwyn. "We can
change them into Americans."
A lot of people don't realize it, but Sam
Goldwyn was a Canadian. Technically
anyway. As a Polish refugee (real name
Samuel Goldfish — no kidding) he spent
The decline
of a
health system
Now and again I read of some comment
on our health system to the effect that it is
going to hell in a hand basket.
There is no doubt that there have been,
and will continue to be, cutbacks within the
system. That is not surprising given the fact
that there is less money available for just
about every government service no matter
how dear it may be to our hearts.
The fact is that we have been maintaining
the high level of these services at both the
provincial and federal levels only by
resorting to heavy borrowing over the past
decade or so and sooner or later any country
which does that is going to be forced to pay
the piper.
However, if you want to see a healthy
system that has really gone down hill with
alarming speed, you have only to look at the
African country of Uganda which used to
have one of the most advanced systems on
the continent. That is, before the advent of
the dictatorship of Idi Amin who ran the
economy into the ground.
For a while the government attempted to
keep the medical care program free to the
country's citizens but this became
impossible. At the same time the wages of
some time in Montreal before he headed for
Hollywood.
That may explain where he picked up his
case of foot in mouth disease. Canada's
thrown up more than a few language
lacerators, but in this country, they don't go
into the movie business — they enter politics.
Take John Kushner. Kushner was a city
alderman for many years in Calgary. I don't
know what legislation he was responsible
for, but I know how he'll be remembered in
the history books. He'll be remembered for
saying things like:
• Don't get your dandruff up!"
• "I don't want any information. I just want
the facts."
• "Remember, ladies and gentlemen, there's
only one taxpayer — you and me!"
Then of course there's Toronto's
contribution to the world of mangled
metaphor — Alan Lamport. "Lampy" was
mayor of Hogtown for years - famous for
conducting city business out of his
permanent suite at the sumptuous Royal
York Hotel. But even more famous for
saying things like:
• "If somebody's gonna stab me in the back,
I wanna be there!"
• "Canada is the greatest nation in the
country!"
• I'm working all day this week."
• "Cheat fair!"
Lampy's still around. He's in his 90s now,
still leaving people scratching their head
every time he opens his mouth.
doctors and other workers' in the system
were driven steadily down to the point where
a doctor currently earns about $5 a day and
free housing.
It should not come as any surprise to learn
that doctors attempt to earn a living wage by
a variety of ploys. One is to moonlight at
private clinics where a month's salary can be
earned in a few minutes just by performing
an illegal abortion. Doctors steal drugs from
hospital pharmacies so that they can be sold
on the open market.
They also extract payment from patients
for such things as blood. If such an
opportunity does not present itself, the
doctor will use a sentence that everybody
understands as being a demand for money.
Two common ones are "I want to get a cup
of tea" or "I need some soap to wash my
hands."
In order to obtain a survival wage, health
care workers went on strike last fall. The
government reacted by declaring the strike
illegal, arresting the union leaders and
evicting striking interns from their
dormitories. While all this was going on,
patients had to make do in the wards without
any medical staff whatsoever. Some army
doctors were pressed into service in
emergency wards and finally the government
ordered the strikers back to work. Is it any
wonder that the life expectancy is only 42,
which is 10 years less than what it was in
1980?
To a degree the situation is somewhat the
same as in Canada. The doctors in Uganda
would not be against charging each patient
for part of his or her treatment. This,
however, is opposed by the politicians and
there are even signs in hospitals warning
Which, alas, is more than I can say for
Slaw Rebchuk.
You never heard of Slaw Rebchuk? He
was Winnipeg's answer to Sam Goldwyn,
John Kushner and Alan Lamport, all rolled
into one compact pugnacious Ukrainian-
Canadian sandwich. Rebchuk served 28
years on Winnipeg City Council. They
called him 'the mayor of the North End.' He
was also known for his hilarious
malapropisms.
Rebchuk specialized in mongrelizing
clichés until they made no sense at all. He
once dismissed a vote by a group of
dissident councillors with, "They've buttered
their bread; now let them lie in it."
Another time he announced "a switch in
time saves two in the bush."
In a council chamber argument with a
colleague he blustered "You don't know a
hole from your head in the ground."
He obviously agreed with Sam Goldwyn
about the worthlessness of oral contracts.
"We have to get it in black and writing" he
said.
And my all-time favourite. One time Slaw
Rebchuk approached a Winnipeg Free Press
columnist hollering "Hey — why don't you
write my autobiography some time?"
I'd like to be able to tell you that Slaw
Rebchuk is still spinning out his
Rebchukisms, but I can't. He passed away
earlier this year at the age of 88.
So long, Slaw. I hope somebody writes
your 'autobiography' soon.
patients against paying for services that are
legally free. Thus the underground double
billing goes on.
Not only are doctors and other medical
personnel poorly paid but there is a shortage
of just about everything. One lawyer took
his son, who was suffering from malaria, to
a large hospital for treatment. It was eight
hours before the boy could be seen by a
doctor, at which time the son was in a coma.
The hospital no longer had some of the
medicine which would be used in such an
illness so the father set out to look for some
in the city. He was too late; the son died the
next day.
Another case is just as bad. In the eastern
part of the country a necessary operation
could not be done at a hospital so the
relatives went looking for another doctor
who could do it. Since he was freelancing,
he demanded $200 for the operation. The
family was quite poor; they had to try to
collect the money. When they had about
two-thirds of the amount necessary the
patient died.
We hear of Canadian doctors leaving for
the United States; Ugandan doctors leave in
droves for other better paying professions or
leave the country to other parts of Africa
where they can make many times what they
would in Uganda and, in addition, not have
to worry about such things as adequate
supplies of medicine.
I am not suggesting for a moment that this
could happen in Canada but it does show
what happens in a country which badly
neglects the task of putting its house in
order.
Having a dictator do much of the wrecking
does not help one little bit.
The
Short
of it
Bonnie Gropp
Oh, to keep them safe
Wouldn't it be nice if you could just find a
way to keep them safe, forever?
Last week, a Belleville teen was killed
while vacationing in Florida. The young
man, who was in Daytona with a group from
his high school for March break, was at a
pay phone talking to his mom just before he
was shot in the back of the head. Only 18, a
whole life ahead of him to enjoy, and living
it to the fullest, when he met his untimely
and violent end.
For the parents of Mark Fyke, who buried
their child last Monday, there will perhaps
be many moments of "what ifs?" It is not
always easy to give a child the freedom to
fly, to take every opportunity and experience
adventures, away from our protective wing.
To know that if Mark had stayed home he
would quite likely still be with them, can
only increase their pain.
It was several years ago that I attended the
funeral of another 18-year-old, who was
killed on his way to Florida for March break.
With compassionate wisdom the pastor
sensed the anguished doubts these parents
had and in his eulogy assauged them as best
he could. Rather than ponder whether they
had made the wrong decision in letting their
son travel so far away from home, he told
them to be comforted by knowing they had
encouraged his independence. As good
parents should, he said, they allowed their
child not to be suffocated by their love and
protection, but had the courage to let him
experience the world. Though their son was
now gone, he had thrived in a life built on
trust. His parents had seen him flourish,
knew it was time to let go a little bit, and had
-the strength and love to do it.
The pastor spoke that day on how
desperately this young man had begged his
parents to let him take this trip and how
much soul-searching they had done before
they agreed. Not an easy decision, but for
their son, though it ended tragically, it had
been the right one.
There were many times over the years, as I
cuddled one of my babies, or watched them
sleeping, that I wished there was some way I
could keep them this safe, this close forever.
But that's not what parenting's about. Youth
can't be isolated from the world, from its evil
or unfairness.
When our children were born, when we
first looked at them and fell hopelessly in
love, we knew that we would not only do
whatever it took to protect them and nurture
them, but make them happy. In addition to
teaching them about right and wrong and
helping them prepare for the future, parents
must also allow them to grow mentally,
spiritually and emotionally. Though, of
course, there are times when we must hold
them back — from negative influence or
obvious dangers — they have to eventually
be given the opportunity to make their own
mistakes and choices. Once they are young
adults we can't let our fears tie them.
The world they live in is sometimes
viscious. Last week's murder of
schoolchildren in Dunblanc, Scotland proves
again that we're never really safe. In a
volatile society we can't always identify the
dangers, but neither can we stifle children's
enthusiasm, potential or energy, if their
happiness really matters. A carefree vacation
can cut a life short, but so can being over-
protective.
Arthur Black