The Citizen, 1995-11-29, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 1995. PAGE 5.
He just ate
a slug
He just ate a slug.
My dumb dog Rufus just wolfed down a
banana slug about the size of
Schwarzenegger's thumb.
If you don't know what a banana slug is,
you're lucky. Basically, they look like a
common, garden-variety shag that's been
weaned on steroids. If the Japanese had 'em
they'd make horror movies about them —
Rodan, the Banana Slug That Slimed
Yokohama!
They call them banana slugs because Yes,
Virginia that is really how big they are.
I didn't actually see him do it, but there's a
trail of slug slime that meanders right up to
where he's sacked out on the front porch.
The trail stops right at his muzzle.
You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to
deduce that somewhere in the underbrush,
there's a slug family that's wondering what's
keeping Daddy so late.
Of course I don't know why I should be
surprised that Rufus has expanded his diet to
include slugs. This is a dog that regularly
tracks, brings down and eats crickets, house
flies, apple cores, toes of slippers and things
unmentionable in a family oriented
Small stories
predominate
in Germany
If you ever go shopping in Europe, you
will find out that there is no such thing as a
small number of huge chain stores which
dominate the market. A housewife doing her
daily shopping is, as likely as not, to go to
one store to get her bread, another to get her
meat and so on.
This can make for a very time-consuming
day but it is a way of life. There are, to be
sure, some chains but certainly not to the
extent that we know 'them.
There is, however, some indication that
this way of life may be breaking down.
When I was in France and stopped by a
bakery to get some rolls for lunch, I got into
a conversation with the baker -himself. He
informed me that the good,, old days were
changing; there were far fewer small
bakeries in France than there were 10 years
ago and there was no change in the
reduction. He was of the opinion that he
would be the last in the family to carry on
the business; there simply would not be
enough for his son to take over.
Germany is, _perhaps, one of the best
newspaper like The North Iluran Citizen.
Could be worse, I suppose. Rufus could be
a Great Dane named Daisy. Daisy lives with
the Weyko:T family in suburban Los
Angeles,' where she spends all her'spare time
hunting down and devouring tennis balls.
As near as the Wcykoffs and .their
increasingly wealthy veterinarian can figure,
Daisy has gobbled 36 tennis balls so far. At
least that's the number they've retrieved from
her stomach in the 17 operations she's
undergone.
"Daisy's been sliced more ways than a
pizza", says Mrs. Weykoff, "but she just
won't quit eating them."
The Weykoffs apparently live in a
decidedly Yuppie-ish area of suburban L.A.
— there are tennis courts on every block.
Which means happy hunting for Daisy the
dingbat.
"We've tried tying her up, fencing her in,
watching her day and night, but nothing
stops her," laments Mrs. Weykoff.
I guess the Weykoffs can be thankful
Daisy wasn't attracted to the game of
basketball.
And another good thing about a Tennis
Ball Diet — there can't be a lot of calories in
it. Rufus on the other hand, is headed for a
coronary if he keeps wolfing clown banana
Slugs. Those things are FAT.
As is Rufus. Oh, he's not really fat, but
he'd never be mistaken for a whippet.
He'd never be mistaken for Aicama Zorba,
either. Aicama Zorba is the name of an Old
places to look when discussing the trend of
small businesses in Europe. Back in 1980
small and medium-sized shops did over half
of all retail business and, when put together
with small and medium sized chain stores,
the total added up to two-thirds.
Department stores were well down in the
standings, only slightly ahead of what was
purchased by mail order.
In the past 15 years the small shops have
seen their sales decline to something just
under 40 per cent.
You will also soon notice, if you go out to
buy anything on the weekend, that Canadian
store hours are worlds apart from those in
Germany. The shops there cannot stay open
in the evenings and try getting something
after noon on Saturday or any time on
Sunday.
A large majority of the shop owners would
like to keep it that way since, as it stands, it
enables them to keep their customers who do
not live too far away.
However, it appears that the same trend as
to the amount of business to which I referred
above, is also on its way as far as store hours
are concerned since the federal government
is now considering changing the law
regulating store hours. One influence is
economics; it is calculated that, were the
hours deregulated, consumers would spend
as much as $20 billion• more which, if true,
would create over 50,000 jobs.
On the other side of the ledger, there
would be a decrease in the number of small
shops with all the unemployment that this
would bring about.
I discussed this with the owner of one of
English Mastiff that lives in London,
England. He's also in the Guinness Book of
World Records where he is officially
recognized as• the world's heaviest canine.
How heavy? Three hundred and 43
pounds. You could look it up if you don't
believe me.
And they don't even have banana slugs in
England.
Speaking of which — have you heard the
latest taste treat for your pooch?
Naw, I'm not talking about those
connoisseur cans of lamb giblets and prime
sirloin tips. That stuffs old hat.
I'm talking about Thirsty Dog.
It's the latest line from an upscale
company called The Original Pet Drink
Company.
What Thirsty Dog is, is a slightly
carbonated beverage...
For your dog.
Thirsty Dog is apparently packed with
vitamins and minerals and comes with a
"crispy beef flavour" — and sells for a little
- more than two loonies a litre.
Well, hey — you see people walking
around with plastic bottles of Evian and
Perrier.
It was only a matter of time before we got
Thirsty Dog.
Laugh if you want, but I plan to pick up a
six pack of Thirsty Dog just' as soon as it
shows up in my corner store.
rfigure there's nothing like a shot of
Thirsty Dog to wash down a banana slug.
the small stores that I patronized during the
week that I was in Mayen. While we were
talking a steady stream of women, who live
nearby, came in to buy enough groceries for
a day or two.
I asked how many he thought he would
lose if deregulation took place. He didn't
think he would lose too many but he was
quick to point out that he really couldn't
afford to lose any since he and his wife, who
helped him run the store, were just, and only
just, making a living from their business,
Storekeepers have not had to worry much
about foreign competition. While "Toys R
Us" seems to have done well in Germany,
many others have had a try at it only to pack
up and go home. Most of them work on the
principle, acquired at home, that consumers
will have a lot of leisure time; they do, but
the short store hours put a crimp into that
concept.
In addition German suppliers did not seem
to show too much enthusiasm or promptness
while the local hired help could easily be
classified as passive.
Some readers may know that the majority
shareholder in the A & P grocery stores is
German. It was obvious when I was in some
of their stores in Germany to see that they
were not above stealing some of the
successful marketing ploys used in Canada
and the United States.
Germans also travel a lot and see what is
to be had in other countries. The net result is
that slowly but surely German retailing is
modernizing. The operative word is slowly,
which means that my small grocer friend has
a while yet to adjust before deregulation
finally takes place.
The
Short
of ►t
By Bonnie Gropp
An easy split-second
decision to make
It's all about time.
As the Christmas season approaches we
become increasingly mindful of how brief
time can be, as the memories of last year's
festive season seem but a tick-tock away,
and the days left for shopping speed forth at
an electric pace until we find ourselves
dashing to accomplish too much in too few
days. '
The large factor that time plays in our
lives can be evidenced by its presence in
music and speech. Melodious messages have
been sent to us about Moments to
Remember, how Time Flies and what
happens As Time Goes By.
Our conversations carry their own
colourful time passages as well. Time is on
my side. There's no time like the present.
I've got nothing but time on my hands.
There arc hands and faces of time, we
move in time, step in time and kill time.
But while we take it for granted and count
on each minute of each day to make up a
lifetime, an incident this past week reminded
me of how it really only takes a second to
change a life forever.
A friend and I were enroute from the city
one night this past week, when a patch of
black ice re-introduced us to the thrills and
chills of winter driving. As we travelled a
circuitous route, spinning down the centre of
the highway, the seconds seemed to stretch
to an eternity, before we skidded to a halt,
precariously perched on the shoulder of the
wrong side of the road.
The driver, who has never had the pleasure
of this moving experience before, was
noticeably shaken. It was only after I started
to think of how differently that story would
have ended if we had been just a few
seconds ahead or behind the schedule we-
had been on did the shock set in. I realized
that a brief time after we stopped several
cars, from both directions, passed us. Had
any of us reached that spot at different times
it might have meant tragedy.
There is little doubt we were lucky; some
would say it was fate, as' there was no way of
knowing what lay ahead for us that night.
But, this is not always the case. Many
times in our life, it is the decisions we make
in the brief seconds we have to act that mean
the difference. There are in everyone's life
occasions when they ask themself, "What
if?" or berate themself saying, "If I only
hadn't."
With the festive season here many will be
faced with a decision that could alter their
life forever. The holidays arc traditionally a
time for travelling and for socializing. There
will be feasting — and drinking. Officers
from the OPP detachments will be
conducting RIDE programs to crackdown orf
drunk drivers. If you drink and get behind
the wheel of a car it could cost you money
and your licence at best. At worst, it could,
in an instant, cost you more than anyone can
stand to lose.
If you're going to drink use the brains God
gave you and don't drive. It should be the
easiest split second decision you can make in
this lifetime. There's no reason good enough
to do it and no excuse for it. And to those of
you who still believe it won't happen to you
— shake your head and see if it rattles.
Arthur Black
International Scene