HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1995-11-15, Page 5International Scene
a mo tad non
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1995. PAGE 5.
He meant to throw
the pie
at Stallone
If you wish to be happy for an hour, get
drunk.
If you wish to be happy for three days, get
married.
If you wish to be happy for eight days, kill
your pig and eat it.
But if you wish to be happy forever,
become a gardener.
Old Chinese proverb
Well, yes and now. There are some hoe-
scarred and weevil-whipped veterans of the
vegetable patch that will tell you gardening
is the shortest cut to insanity this side of
sniffing glue at a Roger Whittaker concert.
But truth to tell, there is something ineffably
peaceful and fulfilling about cultivating a
garden.
Especially for Canucks.
Let's face it - the territory we inhabit is not
Tahiti or Tegucigalpa or. even Fresno,
California. Here in the Great White Etcetera
we only get a few short weeks of respite
between blizzards. What better way to spend
those precious days than smack in the
middle of a swatch of fresh tilled, fecund
earth, trowel in one hand, seed bag in the
other, feeling the rich, dark loam ooze up
between your bare toes?
Business cycles
go one
and on
No matter what country I go to, one of the
chief topics of conversation is employment
or, more frequently, the lack of it. This fall,
when I was over in Europe, it was discussed
everywhere and with good reason.
Italy, France, Denmark, Belgium and
Spain all have rates of unemployment of
over 10 per cent while many other countries
are only slightly under that. Switzerland is
one of the lowest with four per cent but that
is just as bad to the Swiss as double-digit
joblessness is to many of the other countries.
It was asked on numerous occasions what
the situation was in Canada and I had to
reply that it was just about as bad.
Mention the word recession, and fears of
even greater unemployment start to make
themselves heard. People want to know at
what stage we are in the business cycle and,
if we are at, or near, the peak, how likely are
we to stay there and for how long.
Because so much of our trade is with the
United States, people also want to know
what the American situation is. If our friends
to the south are about ready to go into a
recession, you can rest assured that -we will
follow them in short order.
Which, according to my copy of Beautiful
Homes and Gardens, is the way my Love
Affair With Mother Earth was supposed to
go.
It didn't quite work out that way for me
this past summer. There was a lot more
sweating and swearing in my Leafy Alcove
of Delights than I thought there would be.
Summer is over and I had, to show for my
labours, a ragged row of turnips, 27 jade-
coloured granite-solid tomatoes, plus three
ears of corn that the raccoons overlooked.
A cursory cost-benefit analysis indicates
that the corn I eat from my garden this year
will run me about $38.765 a cob.
I didn't try my luck with cukes this year.
And it's probably just as well, because
cucumbers as we know them are obsolete.
The United States Department of Agriculture
has come up with an all new mutant cuke
whose innards are as orange as ... well, an
orange.
Advantage? Well, the pumpkin coloured
cucumber tastes like an ordinary cucumber
but it packs 'way more beta carotene.'
That may not turn your culinary crank, but
it's got health food experts all excited.
Beta carotene converts to Vitamin A in the
human body and Vitamin A deficiency is a
major cause of bone, tooth and vision
problems in the Third World.
Let's hope the USDA cucumber strain
turns out to be as hardy as the 40 tomato
seeds that sprouted in a museum lab in
southwest China last month.
Nothing really remarkable in that —
There are times when it is believed, and by
some economists, that we have the business
cycle under control. Instead of endless ups
and downs, we are led to believe that the
industrialized countries are embarked on a
slow but steady path upward.
Much as it would be nice to experience
such a situation, I do not believe this
approach; the cycle has been and will
continue to be with us for some time.
A little bit of history is in order. If we go
back for a hundred or so years and look at
the American economy, we will see that it
was constantly fluctuating and dramatically
at that. Those readers who can still
remember the great depression of the 1930s
will be interested to note that there were any
number of similar fluctuations before that
time. One back in the early 1890s was a
horrendous one and set off a whole series of
them that lasted right up to World War I.
If you look at these cycles, you are struck
by one characteristic. Before the arrival on
the scene of the British economist, John
Maynard Keynes, the fluctuations were
dramatic ones; after the Second World War
the cycle flattened out just as dramatically.
Perhaps Keynes was on the right track
after all. Certainly with greater government
involvement in the economy, the role of
automatic stabilizers has taken on added
importance. Also the level of employment in
me public sector does not fluctuate as much
as it does in privately held firms.
Furthermore, as countries switch away
from manufacturing to service industries,
another stabilizing factor has emerged.
tomatoes are one of God's more foolproof
crops. Heck, even I can grow them. What
makes the Chinese tomatoes kind of special
is that they were found in a bamboo tube in
an excavated tomb dating from the Han
Dynasty.
Which would make them approximately
2,000 years old. Apparently the tomatoes
were more elongated than their 20th century
cousins, but they tasted just the same.
One last tale from the horticultural pages,
then I must get back to my composting. This
story isn't about gardening per se, but it
involves food — and the strategic military use
thereof.
It seems a Frenchman by the name of Jean
Bucquoy is setting up boot camps in the
Belgian backwoods to train cream pie
terrorists. Commander Bucquoy heads up
the International Pastry Brigade. Their
mission: to comb the world rooting out
"those who believe themselves to be
superior" — and to throw a cream pie in their
face.
Commander Bucquoy practices what he
preached. He was arrested for hurling a pie
at the French Minister of Culture.
Commander Bucquoy claims it was a
snafued offensive. He'd really meant to
throw the pie at Sylvester Stallone, but the
movie star showed up too late.
Personally, I'm prepared to become the
Canadian liaison for the Save Jean Bucquoy
Defense Fund.
Any organization that wants to cream pie
Sylvester Stallone can't be all bad.
Many services are less prone to change with
changes in income than are those companies
involved in manufacturing. Inventories of
the former are not affected as much and all
this adds up to a more stable picture.
It used to be that the United States affected
the business cycle in both Europe and
Canada, but this is changing. The major
cause of this was the formation of the
European exchange rate mechanism. There
always seems to be an exception and in this
case it is Great Britain which, like Canada,
follows the American pattern.
If I carne into your home and told you that
under no circumstances were you to buy that
new car or washing machine, you would tell
me in all likelihood to mind my own
business. But part of any cycle is the
continued desire of consumers, to go on
buying goods and services when we should
be trying to cool off the economy from
excessive demand which is causing
inflationary pressures.
We may also get mad at governments who
try to do the same thing with their economic
policies; we either complain bitterly or vote
them out at the next election.
In short, as long as people are people, it
does not matter much in which country they
live, the business cycle will continue to go
its usual way, leaving in its way an increased
number of people without jobs. In Canada, it
is frequently the case of what the American
consumers have decided to do.
The next time you hear of a company
laying off people, look south of the border to
see if the cause is to be found there.
The
Short
of it
By Bonnie Gropp
Life meant to be lined
A conversation I had with a new mom
recently prompted a response from my
eldest.
"What is it about babies that turns you into
such a sap?" he teased. His reference was to
the oohing and aahing which emanate from
most women when faced with the cherubic
perfection of an infant or toddler. Now, I say
most women because there are always
exceptions, and I therefore want to preface
this column with the acknowledgement that I
am going to be generalizing throughout.
While I may be, to some, perpetuating
stereotypes, I must also stress that I know
what I see and the arrival of a child will
warm the heart of every woman I know.
Touching the soft skin, feeling the tiny
fingers wrapped snugly around your own,
can soften the hard edge of cynicism. The
face of an angel with its tiny rosebud mouth
and dark lashes sweeping against pink
cheeks restores our faith in miracles, while
the sweet fragrance of a newborn babe is the
best aromatherapy.
Babies fascinate and amuse, though the
men in my family have always been puzzled
by why. They just can't see what it is about
an infant that will captivate and hold
attention for hours. They'll admit that babies
are special, amazing even, but, they ask the
women in the house, "How can you just sit
and look at them? They don't do anything."
This question coming from a group who
can gather in a cold garage for hours to look
at a new snowmobile or car! Now I ask —
what's the attraction here? You can't cuddle
them, they're not what one would call pretty
and they certainly don't smell good, but they
can enthrall my husband for — well, let's
just say it's a good thing for his family that
he gets hungry or we might never get him in
the house.
My warrior is the stereotypical male, fond
of cars and snowmobiles. But, while most
of his pleasure is derived from using them to
get places — usually quickly — he is almost
equally happy talking about them and
looking at them. For those of us who have
tried to share his passion, it's tough because
he never tires of them. While I may have
seen all I need to in 15 minutes, for Mark,
going to a snowmobile dealership is a day
long excursion.
This past Saturday, Mark and his
'stereotypical buddies' did some male
bonding on a snowmobile mission that took
hours. Then on Sunday when another friend
stopped by to see the new machine, I
couldn't help thinking how like women this
is when a friend has a new baby. I'll never
understand it, but this interest is as life-
affirming, as amazing to Mark as a young
child is to me.
It all got me thinking how much, in this
absolutely insane world, we need our
interests and our passions to fulfill us and
remind us that life is meant to be lived.
Being part of it is about being happy and
seeking out ways to have enjoyment and
good times. For me, I have music to uplift
me, books to lose myself in and a fascination
with new life that restores my sense of
wonder.
And while we may not understand or share
the fervour someone has for something, we
should accept it because it makes them
happy.
Arthur Black