HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1995-07-26, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JULY 26, 1995. PAGE 5.
That's what
`klutz' means
There was a time not so very long ago
when occupational injuries were easy to
spot. A woman with a beauty mark on her
cheek was most likely an actress or a dancer.
A man hopping about on a peg leg or
sporting a hook where his hand should be
was probably a pirate.
If his front teeth were missing there was a
good chance he played pro hockey.
But that was back in the good old simple
days, before we found ourselves with too
much time on our hands and had to invent
ways to pass our leisure hours.
I call it the PFF era.
PFF? Pre-Frisbee Finger. That's an injury
that began to be reported back in the 60s,
shortly after someone discovered that you
could have a lot of fun tossing a plastic pie
plate back and forth in a park.
It wasn't difficult. You simply grasped the
Frisbee by its edge with your throwing hand
and with a kind of underhand flick, you
launched it at your partner who was waiting
to catch it across the field.
Trouble was, if you played Frisbee long
What's that
place called?
Although Geography was one of my
favourite subjects at school, I still get tripped
up by place names, but not for the reasons
that you might think. I can usually remember
the name of a country, its capital or one of
the localities, but the question is whether I
give it the right name or not.
Let me explain.
For years I was aware that the little island
just to the south of India was named Ceylon.
I was once invited to have tea at the
Ceylonese trade commission's office in
Frankfurt, Germany and we spoke constantly
about Ceylonese tea as compared to the
other types. For reasons which are still not
clear, the island's government decided to
change the name of the country to Sri Lanka
but do you think that this change included a
description of the tea.
No! As far as I can determine, this is still
referred to as Ceylonese tea; I have certainly
never heard it called Sri Lankan tea. For this
reason I have to stop and think whenever the
question comes up. If I don't, I find myself
still naming the country Ceylon, which
several Ceylonese, oops, Sri Lankans have
told me is wrong, wrong, wrong.
They are not the only ones. For most of
my life the country next to India on the east
has been called Burma. Not any more!
Hands up all those who can tell me what the
new name is. The answer is...Myanmar
which I find just as strange as Sri Lanka.
The same practice holds true with regards
to the adjective. Since nobody is quite sure
what it really is with the new name, the
tendency is still to call the wood from there
as Burmese teak.
Then there is Rhodesia. That is what is
used to be called when it was part of the
enough, you came down with a case of
Frisbee Finger — a painful throbbing and
swelling of the digit that rubbed against the
frisbee when you flicked it skyward.
Not everybody plays Frisbee of course.
Some couch potatoes prefer to stay inside
locked in mortal combat with their Game
Boys, Sega or Nintendo games.
Their reward? Nintendo Thumb. Doctors
claim some victims play with such intensity
that they squeeze the blood right out of their
thumbs. Which smarts.
We've always had conventional sports
injuries of course — tennis elbow, golfer's
wrist, and wonky knees from contact sports
such as football and soccer. But it took the
Fitness Craze of the past few years to
introduce us to the misery of Jogger's
Nipple. This is an ailment caused by a
runner's synthetic jersey repeatedly rubbing
against his or her chest.
Sounds funny. It ain't.
Then there's Surfer's Toe. Human beach
rats who spend their summers clinging to
surfboards in the ocean waiting for The
Perfect Wave to come down with this one.
Surfer's Toe is basically a callous that builds
up on the big toe. It's caused by — what else
— too much rubbing up against a surfboard.
But you don't have to be a jock to suffer
from modem day maladies. Take musicians.
You would think a symphony orchestra
would be a pretty safe place to hide from
bodily aches and pains, would you not?
British Empire. As soon as it got its
independence, it, too, changed its name to
Zimbabwe, which I find hard to remember
not to mention pronounce. The adjective, I
think, is Simbabwean which is even harder
to say. One thing is certain, however,
nobody uses the word Rhodesian any more.
What a pity since it is so much easier to say.
One of my biggest problems, though, has
nothing to do with the official changing of
names. It is simply because, during my
youthful wanderings the first time that I
heard the name of a place did not mean that
it was in English and, in case you haven't
noticed it, place names can change from
language to language.
Let's take the famous city of Geneva for an
example. It may be Geneva to you but to a
German speaking person it is Genf. The
French say Geneve which should be the
correct word since, after all, French is what
they speak in that city.
In Spanish it is Ginebra, (with the G
pronounced like an H). In Italian it is
Ginevra. I could go on in other languages
but I think I have made my point.
For me, the problem is that having called
it Genf or Geneve for so long, it is hard to
remember that the English word is Geneva.
People are always giving me funny looks
when I mention a place, as if to say that they
have never heard of it before and it is at that
point that I begin to ask myself if I have
used the wrong word.
To the Russians, their former capital is
called Moskva, not Moscow, with the accent
on the final a. The country is called Rossiya
(accent on i) which in German would be
Russland.
This leads to another problem. If you
happen to see a map which is not written in
English, unless your Geography is very
good, you are in for a spot of trouble.
Finland to the Finns is Suomi. Greece to the
Greeks is Ellenes. Norway is Norge to the
locals and Holland is Nederland.
If a Frenchman told you he was engaged
Don't believe it. A few years back an
Australian surgeon did an extensive medical
study of members of eight orchestras. Some
of the problems he uncovered:
Piper's Pinkie. The player's baby finger
becomes rigid and immobile from being held
stiff for long periods.
Violinist's Neck. A painful condition
caused by holding the violin in the standard
position between chin and left shoulder.
Cellist's Back. Low back pain resulting
from hours of sitting in a restricted position.
There is also Clarinetists (and Oboists)
Thumb, Bassoonist's Hands, Flautist's
Elbow, Cymbalist's Shoulder,
Percussionists Palsy and, my favourite:
Trumpeter's Piles.
I ask you — what did musicians ever do to
deserve fates like these? All they want to do
is make beautiful sounds. They'd be safer
opening a Kosher hot dog stand in
downtown Beirut.
Speaking of which, you want to try to
guess the latest Trendy injury showing up in
hospital emergency rooms?
Bagel injuries. Yuppies have taken to the
bagel as the upscale snack of choice.
Unfortunately the average Yuppie isn't quite
a match for the average bagel.
Jews know all about the tricky nature of
the benign-looking bagel. They even have a
word for a person who cuts himself trying to
open one.
That's what "klutz" means.
in foreign trade and mentioned that he had to
visit the city of Aix-la-Chapelle, you would
probably be totally at a loss to know to
which country he had gone, since the city is
in Germany where it is called Aachen. If the
same Frenchman explained that he was later
to fly off to Le Caire, you would be equally
perplexed until you found out that he was
actually going to Cairo.
Closer to home, if he were sending me a
letter, he would address it as London. If,
however, I lived over in Great Britain, he
would then write down Londres on the
envelope. At least the French make a
distinction between the two even though the
English don't.
Canada comes off quite well. It is
normally spelled the same way as we do
with the Germans making only a slight
change; they start the word with a K instead
of a C but the pronunciation remains the
same. At least, when you use the word in
your travels, nobody should be in any doubt
as to your origin. That, in itself, is a small
blessing.
Niagara Falls,
last stop
on tour
Continued from page 4
same topic: "What do you see as a practical
goal for the United Nations in 1996?" The
winners of the contest were both from
Toronto and both spoke on extending what
the UN currently does for those in war-torn
areas.
Rochelle Ivany and Tom Mastorakos go
on to compete against the winners from the
other weeks for a $500 scholarship.
After leaving New York our bus had one
last stop before going home, Niagara Falls.
Saturday morning we spent our last hours of
sightseeing at the Falls before starting home.
We each took home with us many
memories, and friendships as well as a far
better understanding of the United Nations
and what it does.
The
Short
of it
By Bonnie Gropp
A few too many
Thank heavens there are always things
which give us hope.
Very early this past Wednesday morning I
was awakened by the sound of the fire siren,
its eerie resonance chilling me despite the
warm breeze wafting in through my window.
There is no good news carried on the shrill
strains of a siren; it is the sound of mishap,
misadventure or mischief. Unfortunately, in
this case it was the latter, as some pitiful
pukes (whom we hopefully assume were not
local) cast aspersions on their peers by
displaying disregard and disrespect for the
rights, the property and hard work of others.
It was a deliberate act of vandalism that we
have unfortunately come to associate with
adolescents.
The fact that they set fire to a car in a
parking lot adjacent to several residences
says how moronic they are. The fact that the
chapel in Brussels has been a particular
target since it was built a few years ago says
how much respect they have for the hard
work of others. The fact that they chose to
set fire to a Bible says plenty.
But, I'm not going to waste many more
words on this small representation. That
certainly won't change their behaviour; for
that matter I doubt they can read. That type
of change must begin at home. As an OPP
spokesperson said, "If parents could get
control over these kids, the problem would
be solved." This is, unfortunately, not as
easy as it sounds.
So I would rather make use of this space
by paying attention to a group that is
changing the way people think about youths.
Two days a week some 20 kids are tearing
up the town a different way, running from
one assignment to another. For three weeks
they have been busy with neighbourhood
clean-ups as well as some cosmetic surgery,
by painting fences and the water hydrants.
Known as the SWAT team (which stands for
Students Working Around Town), this group
has been promoting a positive image with
young and old, helping with a junior summer
recreation program and at Huronlea, the
county home for the aged.
They are demonstrating what it means to
care about a community and about the needs
and feelings of others. They are showing that
they are capable of having a generous heart,
volunteering their energies for the pleasure
of doing something useful. They are proving
they can be productive, ambitious
contributors to the betterment of the village
and even more importantly for them, are
having fun doing it.
Also, over the past few months we have
seen Congratulations in the paper for young
people who have successfully completed
post-secondary studies and still others who
ended their high school years as Ontario
Scholars. There are young people who go
out to find employment to help pay their
way and others who become involved in
their communities by coaching sports or
volunteering in other projects.
These are the ones who remind us there
are members of the next generation who
have direction, who have been guided to
make the right choices, then chose to make
them. It is these ones that we must look to
when we feel undone and overwhelmed by
the immaturity and irresponsibility of others.
We need to see their potential and recognize
the strength it takes to be superior, to be
better than the rest, when peer pressure can
make things so difficult. We have to
remember not to condemn them all for the
failings of a few, even if sometimes it seems
like a few too many.
Arthur Black
International Scene