HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1995-06-21, Page 5Arthur Black
International Scene
MO Op
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 21, 1995. PAGE 5.
You know how tough
times are for banks
When I go into a bank I get nervous.
Stephen Leacock
Pity the poor beleaguered Maestro of
Mariposa. Stephen Leacock was utterly
flummoxed by banks. He couldn't handle the
mental arithmetic.
He balked at the people who worked there.
He got rattled at the wickets, the deposit
books and the thought of all that money
piled up in the vault just out of sight.
"When I go into a bank" he wrote, "I
become an irresponsible idiot".
He could walk through the front door as a
sane and stable burgher with cash in his
pocket. He left minutes later, a stricken,
gibbering fool determined never to darken
the door of any financial institution for the
rest of his life.
But, on the bright side, he got some great
material in that sleepy Mariposa Temple of
Mammon. He wrote one of the funniest
essays any Canadian ever penned. It's called
"My Financial Career" and it still cracks me
up more than half a century after he put it on
paper.
That's more than he'd get if he went into a
bank nowadays.
Needed:
new world order
On June 15 the leaders of the seven
"richest" nations will have sat down for an
opulent conference in Halifax, Nova Scotia,
to hold their annual summit meeting on the
world's economy.
It is Canada's turn again to host the
gathering and presumably the security will
be as tight as it was the last time we
welcomed the leaders at Toronto's Pearson
Airport.
I have often wondered why the word
"economic" is used since a broader term is
needed. While the leaders certainly do get
around to taking a close look at the
international economy, they also manage to
discuss whatever happens to be on the world
plate at the time. It is, for example, a sure bet
that the word Bosnia will be high on the
agenda and this is surely a topic which is
more of a political or military nature than
something which would bring a glint to the
eyes of those economists whose forte is
world trade, international capital flows and
the like.
At any rate, I deliberately wrote this in
advance of the conference for the simple
reason that I wanted to outline what needs to
be done rather than how well the meeting
went. If you keep this in mind as you read it,
you will be in a better position to judge the
success of it all; that is, assuming that you
don't take one look at the first paragraph and
then pass up the whole article or skip to the
end to see what conclusions I have drawn.
When I was first struggling with all the
subjects that teachers could throw at me, a
new economic world order was in the
process of being created, with the greatest
economist of the 20th century, John
When I go into a bank, I feel ... irrelevant.
The first thing I see is a sign urging me to
"Have My Bank Card Ready".
What bank card? I don't have any freaking
bank card. I've got a little cash in my pocket
and I want the bank to hold it for me for
awhile.
That's what banks do. They take care of
your money because their chances of getting
mugged are considerably less than yours.
I don't feel bad when they ask for my bank
book. That's fair enough - if I happened to
remember to bring it.
I don't complain when they ask me to put
my signature on a withdrawal slip. I mean,
hell - Conrad Black might be trying to raid
my bank account. You can't be too careful.
But I tend to wax ballistic when my bank
tries to convince me that I need to flash yet
another piece of plastic before they will
deign to deal with me.
Alas, I realize that I am, as my old sea
captain used to say approximately, merely
"spitting into the wind".
It's a losing battle. The banks, like every
other institution in these, the Nasty Nineties
are "downsizing''.
Which is to say they're laying people off
and replacing them with machines and
"automatic, client-driven procedures" just as
fast as they indecently can.
Not so long ago I used to see five,
sometimes six tellers each time I went
through the bank door. Now there are two -
and with so many extra chores to perform -
Maynard Keynes, playing a major role. Alas,
it was to be one of the last things that
Keynes did for he died of a heart attack
shortly after.
The work of Keynes and his colleagues
was Jell done; out of the deliberations came
such organizations as the International
Monetary Fund, the World Bank and the
General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade.
These three provided the framework for a
system that would help countries with
balance of payments problems, provide
loans for development projects in third
world nations and set the stage for a
dramatic increase in the level of world trade.
In the last half of the century they have
served the world well but it could be that
they are going the way of Oxymandias, the
king in one of Shelley's most famous pieces
of poetry. In short, they need to be either
updated or replaced.
To a certain degree this has already been
done. GATT is no more, having been
replaced by the World Trade Organization.
The other two, however, are still around and
showing their age. The IMF, by itself, was
totally unable to provide Mexico with the
help it needed when that country suffered a
collapse of its currency. Perhaps it will be
better prepared next time but whether it, in
its present form, has the resources or not is
very much a question.
There are a number of other problems to
be addressed, not the least of which is
unemployment. While some of the members,
notably the United States and Japan, are
better off than the others, there is little doubt
that the second industrial revolution has
brought with it an unacceptably high level of
unemployment, with a high percentage of
the long-term variety.
The French are looking at a rate of over 12
per cent, a figure which has stubbornly
refused to change by any great amount.
Canada's, at about 9.5 per cent, is some two
sometimes fewer than that.
And it ain't going to get better. Indeed, the
financial wave of the future is already
splashing against the wickets of the First
Chicago Bank, down in the Windy City.
Oh, you can still walk into the First
Chicago and hand a teller your deposit.
Difference is, the bank will charge you $3
for the privilege. Every time.
Unless you happen to have $3,000
gathering moss in a checking account. The
bank waves the three-buck penalty for
people who are that dim.
You see, the bank thinks you should be
penalized for not using an Automatic Bank
Machine.
They figure it this way: it costs the bank
nearly 10 times as much to pay a human to
handle your transaction as it does when you
punch it in yourself.
Sure, it's only pennies but ... well, you
know how tough times are for the banks.
The day is coming, my friends, when
encountering a real live teller at a real live
wicket will be as rare as a UFO sighting.
I guess it's progress. But I guess I don't
have to like it. I prefer talking to flesh and
blood people with actual smiles. People with
kids and spouses and new hairdos who know
me by name and ask after my dog.
Punching a keyboard may be faster, but it's
not terribly life-enhancing.
And Mister Leacock, if you're perusing
this in some celestial gazette, I want you to
know that you got out just in time.
per cent higher than it was at the same time
in the last business cycle, and we could stand
some honest talk at the conference. What we
are likely to get is little more than lip
service.
There has been a great deal written of late
about the lack of trust which the voting
public has in the current crop of politicians.
This has been brought about, for the most
part, by the failure of this crop to carry out
ptomises made. It seems that the public is
more realistic in its demands that the same
politicians be held accountable for their
words. The "economic summit" in Halifax,
held as it is in the spotlight of public
opinion, would be an excellent place to not
only make valid promises but to keep them.
I, for one, will be surprised if that happens
but I would be delighted to be proven wrong.
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The
short
of it
By Bonnie Gropp
The frustration
of frustration,
When it comes to writing they say the best
thing to do is to write about what you know
best. With this in mind I have decided to
spend this time sharing some thoughts on
frustration.
As a human being I know that I will be
faced with dilemmas and situations that will
tend to frustrate and confound me. Though
generally a trying problem is just another of
life's little challenges, most of us at one
point or another have been burdened by a
buildup of minor difficulties, which
confronted alone would not have seemed so
much, but together their impact can feel
unbearable.
Frustration can be - well, frustrating. I'm
certain you've all seen the face of a child
trying to do something new and not doing
very well. People by nature like to succeed,
prefer to have things go smoothly. When
they don't we are confronted with our human
fallibility. It is an attack on our ego.
We are frustrated when we lose. We are
frustrated when we fail. We are frustrated at
having to do things over and over and over.
I recently ended a week that had proven to
be a long game of frustration, which I do
believe I won just by point of survival. I was
living under Murphy's Law and couldn't
break free no matter how I struggled. I bore
not just mental wounds, but physical as well,
so that by the end I was beginning to feel it
was unsafe for me to be out and about. Just
tie me in a corner for the safety of all I might
encounter until this is over, I thought.
Then as suddenly as the onslaught of trials
and tribulations began, the skirmishes
between my will and why me ended and I
looked back on several long days with a
chuckle and the ability to recognize it was
not something personal, but a siege we all
endure from time to time.
Saturday in the sweltering heat, which I'm
sure you've noticed tends to increase the
weight of any burden, my husband was busy
with car maintenance. Of course, nothing
was going right; each mistake was tagged on
to the previous ones until the job was one
mountain of mishap.
Now Mark has his own way of dealing
with life's frustrations, which in print looks
something like !#&$?!$. While it may make
others nearby a bit uncomfortable, it does
seem to make him feel better, which is
what's important.
Frustration is our own personal battle and
we all must come to terms with how to
handle it. I couldn't help being impressed
this past weekend watching pitcher David
Cone's face as he experienced what was
probably one of the most frustrating
experiences of his career. As he lost his no-
hitter with two out in the ninth, he actually
smiled, then went back to work.
Mind you, if I was making millions even
when I messed up, I guess I could probably
smile, too.
I, as I'm sure the majority do, feel 99.9 per
cent of the time that I have been truly
blessed. Though life hasn't always followed
the route down Easy St., it has for the most
part been on cruise control.
I have been fortunate that my mistakes
have not cost me too dearly, and have
instead been lessons that have helped to
improve and educate me. I have been
fortunate in health, family and career. I have
been fortunate that the biggest trials in my
life have been only those irritating little
frustrations that are part of everyone's life.
They have, I hope, taught me patience,
tolerance and most importantly to laugh at
my own foibles.