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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1995-03-29, Page 14The Bunn County Board of Education WHO SETS THE MILL RATE ANYWAY? A Public Information Meeting hosted by the Huron County Board of Education • Budget '95 • Ministry Grants • Property Tax Trends Members of the Public and Municipal representatives will be invited to offer input and suggestions. The meeting will be held March 30, 1995 at 7:30 p.m. at the Education Centre, 103 Albert Street, Clinton. rtui R. Brown P. Carroll Chair .17, Director 11 The Huron County Board of Education FRENCH IMMERSION Based on interest levels shown, French Immersion will be available in Grade 5 at Robertson Memorial Public School and Grades 5 and 6-at Exeter Public School. The program will begin in September 1995 provided there is sufficient enrolment and available classroom space. Parents of eligible students can pick up registration forms at any public elementary school in the county. Information meetings will be held at Robertson Memorial Public School in Goderich on Monday, April 3rd, 1995, at 7:00 p.m. and Exeter Public School on Tuesday, April 4th, 1995, at 7:00 p.m. A decision on whether or not to begin the program will be based on the number of registrations submitted by Friday, April 7th, 1995. For additional information contact: Gino Giannandrea Superintendent of Schools 482-3496 1-800-265-5598 Roxanne Brown Chair Paul Carroll Director PAGE 14. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29, 1995. Communication key to family farm survival By Bonnie Gropp Understanding and appreciating the role of each person on the fami- ly farm is the best way to ensure it thrives and survives. . This was the message delivered by Dr. Ron Hanson, a professor of Agribusiness from the University of Nebraska during an educational workshop in Brussels last Wednes- day evening. "How to Thrive, Not Just Survive as a Farm Family", which was organized by the Huron County Rural Health Co-ordinating Com- mittee, focussed on communication and the human aspects of farming. In addition to the one in Brussels there were two day-long sessions in Holmesville March 23 and Mitchell on March 24. An accomplished speaker, Dr. Hanson, who has received awards for his dedication to students, has for the past 16 years donated per- sonal time to counsel farm families. Dr. Hanson's talk was peppered with anecdotes, some humorous, some disturbing, taken from his experiences as a family counsellor. In beginning his presentation to the 50 people in attendance, he read a letter from a woman which had been written on the back of a deposit slip following one of his talks. She told him that after 28 years of marriage her husband's family was still saying that he would have been better off had he married someone else. "Daughter- in-laws are my favourite subject," Dr. Hanson said, sardonically. "They're the real troublemakers in the family. You often hear, 'Until he met her...' or 'Until she came along...'. Families often forget it's a team effort no matter what the roles on that team may be." "When families farm together what causes problems?" he asked. "When you think about it what bet- ter team could you put together?" He described the anatomy of a farm family as the wishbones — those who wish someone else would do the work, the jawbones — those who talk but do little else, the knuckle bones — those who knock what everyone else is doing and the backbones — those who actually do the work. He listed seven areas of disagree- ment in family farming operations that he had encountered. Decision making as to who has the final say, who is the boss and who has responsibility for finances and Change may threaten older generation records was one issue that can lead to confrontation. "I know of one father/son partnership where the dad died and it took three days for the mother and son to find the chequebook. Mom didn't even know there was a second mortgage on the farm." Change is something that can be threatening for some, which makes it tough for the younger generation. "Dad may not want to try some- thing new because his way has been working well for a long time. As long as a job gets done, who cares how?' Dr. Hanson cautioned against let- ting the father/son relationship turn into that of parent/child. "When you hear 'I'm the dad, you're the boy and don't forget it,' there will he problems. There are some dads I honestly believe that if you could physically put that farm inside the casket with them, they'd take it. The attitude is I fought for it, it's mine." Dr. Hanson told of a father who told his son "It's my way or the highway." The son, he said, chose the highway. Interestingly, Dr. Hanson said that in his 16 years of working with farm families he has never seen a problem between father and daugh- ter. "Dads put sons on a pedestal. He's like me, he'll come around and do it my way, then when he doesn't dad can't understand." Family and business goals may differ between family farm partners as well as ideas on vacation and time-off policies. The big issue is communication. "People argue, but they're not com- municating. If everyone's arguing, nobody's listening." Where the money should go. is often an area of disagreement between spouses. "There's two eco- nomic lessons of farming a wife must learn. First the farm always comes first and by the end of the year there's not enough left to get that new carpet. Once they under- stand rule one number two is easy, 'Next year'. Are there any wives here, still waiting for next year?" The wife's role is another area that Dr. Hanson said must be con- sidered. ''When a daughter-in-law moves into mom's house she may live there, but it's still mom's house." He told the story of a woman who, after marrying a farmer, had refused to give up a nursing career to help on the farm as her mother-in-law had. "She told them, '1 married your son, not the farm,' but they always believed that she'd give up nursing when she moved into the house and saw Mom going to the barn every morn- ing," Dr. Hanson said. "You get problems when you try to put peo- ple into molds into which they don't fit." Dr. Hanson said that when he asks for ideas from audiences on areas that may cause disagreement the role of the wife is seldom men- tioned. "That's because it's always assumed, always taken for grant-ed... He cautioned against gossiping, holding grudges and letting argu- ments get out of hand. The former leads to misunderstanding while grudges usually stem from little things that continue to fester. "If something makes you mad, deal with it then forget it." Though arguing is fine, Dr. Han- son advised not to let them go beyond the boiling point. "It's a big mistake to take a simple disagree- ment and turn it into a fight. All you want to do then is get even and prove a point at any cost. Take a cooling off period instead." Common sense, respect for indi- vidual feelings and family values are the best way to survive and thrive in a family farm. "Spend time together as a family. We shouldn't hear I or my, we should hear family," Dr. Hanson said. "Have fun together, keep your sense of humour and take kidding in stride. Families have forgotten how to be families, to laugh and love together." Husbands and wives should take the time to strengthen family ties, he said, and re-affirm their hopes and dreams. "If you want to test the strength of a farm marriage simply let the husband and wife sort live- stock together," he joked. Dr. Hanson noted that while peo- ple seem able to express anger and frustration by yelling or cursing, words of love don't come as easily. "That's kind of interesting about families. They are what I call the unspoken words of family farming — I need you, I love you and I appreciate you or I'm proud of you." "There's a day coming when you will find yourself at the side of a casket looking at the face of the person you loved most in your life. From that moment on, all you will have is memories and what do you want those memories to be? I have known families who have prayed for a chance to say things that they never said. You don't get that sec- ond chance." Dr. Hanson's interest in farm families in crisis is based on per- sonal tragedy. He told the audience that when he was 12 his grandpar- ents and parents had a fight that split the family in two. "My grand- parents left our home that night in tears and even though they lived across the road there was never another Christmas or another birth- day with them," he said. When his grandfather passed away, Dr. Hanson said his parents, grandmother, aunts and uncles never spoke and to this day 34 years later, his father has never vis- ited his parents' gravesites, some- thing that tears at him every day of his life. "Families sit in my office and all I hear are regrets. They get all the things they think they want but find they're not any happier, just empti- er, because they have chased the wrong tail all those years." "All someone want to know is that they arc loved and needed, that somebody worries about them." "I have accomplished my pur- pose tonight if I took that knot of appreciation in even one family here and tightened it. You all have the chance so don't blow it because you might not get another." The way it is Dr. Ron Hanson, a professor from the University of Nebraska was in Huron and Perth this week conducting workshops on "How to Thrive, not Just Survive as a Farm Family". t ARE YOU INTERESTED IN LOCAL SMOKING ISSUES? You are invited to attend a community meeting to consider the formation of a group to address smoking issues in Huron County (i.e. education, -cessation, advocacy, etc). •• s •Ift •Ilb • 110 e • Ob Date: Wednesday, April 5, 1995 Time: 7:00 p.m. Place: OMAFRA Office (Clinton) If you have any questions, please call Heather at the Huron County Health Unit at 482-3416 or 1-800-265-5184.