HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1994-02-23, Page 21THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1994. PAGE 21.
Ushers must be early birds for ceremony
AT THE CEREMONY
Ushers arrive one hour before the
service with full instructions for
seating arrangements.
Usher offers his right arm to each
lady guest.
Bridegroom and best man arrive
together.
Answers on wedding etiquette
If you are in a quandary about
wedding etiquette you are not
alone. Following is a list of the
commonest problems and their
answers:
***
Question: What is the order of
toasts?
Answer: First, a family friend or
the clergyman proposes the toast to
the bride, to which the groom
replies. The groom finishes with a
toast to the bridesmaids. The best
man replies to the toast to the
bridesmaids. Following this, the
father of the bride may wish to say
a few words. If toasts to the
mothers are desired, they should be
proposed by family friends and
replied to by the fathers. However,
since the groom usually thanks
both mothers in his little speech, it
isn't necessary.***
Question: How do you respond to
an invitation?
Answer: The reply is written in the
third person, in the same form as
the wedding invitation, and
including all information contained
in it as shown below.
If you must refuse, begins this
way, then follow with the rest as
shown in the example below:
Mr. and Mrs. John Edwards
regret that they are unable to
accept the kind invitation of...
If only one of the couple can
attend, either send two separate
replies or word it this way:
Mrs. John Edwards accepts with
pleasure and Mr. John Edwards
regrets that he is unable to accept
the kind invitation of...
***
Question: Are reply cards, or
RSVP proper when sent with the
wedding; invitation?
Answer: Strictly speaking, no. But
the rules have relaxed so that it is
acceptable now in many circles.***
Question: Can members of the
family entertain the bride at
Bride's mother arrives with the
maid of honor.
Bridesmaids arrive.
Bride and her father arrive just
before the service begins.
Ushers escort close relatives to
seats just behind the parents of the
bride and groom.
The head usher escorts the
showers?
Answer: Definitely not. Any party
or gathering is acceptable, as long
as no gifts or donations are
required.
***
Question: Are invitations sent to
the groom's family and attendants?
Answer: Not necessarily, but it's
nice to send one as a keepsake.
Include a note of explanation.
***
Question: May abbreviations be
used on invitations?
Answer: No. All words, including
street and avenue must be spelled
out.
Mr. and Mrs. John Edwards
accept with pleasure the kind invitation
or
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Alexander Smith
invite you to the marriage of their daughter
Joan Ann
to
Mr. Peter David Kingsley
on Saturday, June the ninth
at four o'clock
St. Andrews' United Church
and afterwards at
3 College Street
***
Question: What is the order of the
receiving line?
Answer: First comes the bride's
mother, then the groom's father,
groom's mother, bride's father,
bride and groom. Don't forget to
introduce each guest to the person
next to you in line. The maid of
honour and bridesmaids may stand
beside the groom, but if the guests
number over 150, or if the day is
very hot, it's not a good idea since
so much time will be taken up. The
best man and ushers circulate
among the guests and see that
introduction are made and guests
have refreshments.
***
Question: May guests wear black
at a wedding?
Answer: Certainly. Only the
immediate family must not wear
black dress or accessories. In case
of a recent bereavement in the
family, gray or orchid is worn.
groom's parents to the front row at
the right.
The head usher escorts the bride's
mother to the front row at the left.
The Wedding March begins.
THE PROCESSIONAL
Different traditions have their
own different ceremonies and
styles. The following is offered as a
***
Question: What are the duties of a
best man?
Answer: He accompanies the
groom to the church, looks after the
ring, license and honorarium for
sexton, organist, and clergyman,
and responds to the toast to the
bridesmaids and looks after
baggage of bride and groom.
***
Question: After the engagement is
announced, does bride's or groom's
family make the first contact?
Answer: The groom's family calls
on the bride's first.
***
Question: Is an invitation sent to
the clergyman and his wife?
Answer: No, a separate note is
written to the wife, since an
invitation requires a gift.
***
Question: Can wedding gifts be
taken to the trousseau tea?
Answer: No. They should be
delivered beforehand so they can
be displayed.
***
Question: When are white dinner
jackets worn by the bridal party?
Answer: Never. They are to be
worn by wedding guests at summer
weddings being held after 6 p.m.
***
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general guideline.
First come the ushers, then the
bridesmaids, often walking two by
two. The maid of honor follows
alone, followed by the flower girl.
The bride enters last, on her
father's right arm. The groom and
his best man await the bride at the
right.
FORMATION AT THE
ALTAR
When the wedding procession
reaches the front of the aisle, the
ushers move to the right behind the
best man.
The bridesmaids stand at the left,
where the flower girl joins them.
The maid of honor stands just to
the left of the bride, the best man to
the right of the groom. The bride
and groom stand in the centre
facing the clergyman. The bride's
father stands immediately behind
the bride.
SPEECHES AND TOASTS
The formal order of speeches and
toasts given at a wedding is as
follows:
• To the Bride: by the clergyman
or friend of the Bride's family, not
a relative.
• Response: by the Groom.
• To the Bridesmaids: by the
Groom.
• Response: by the Best Man or
head usher.
• To the parents of the Bride: by
the Best Man or Master of
Ceremonies.
• Response: by the father of the
Groom.
All or some of these toasts may
be proposed. It should be
remembered that nowadays, even at
a formal wedding, rules of etiquette
have relaxed, so you shouldn't feel
compelled to prepare and give a
speech, unless you really want to.
By the same reasoning, anyone,
male or female, who has a few
words to say should not be refused.
Here are a few traps to avoid:
• Long-winded speeches.
• Forced humor; don't be a
comedian if it's not your natural
style.
• Cliches.
• Monopolizing the time.
• If you keep your praise and
congratulations simple and honest,
and let your true feelings show,
you're bound to give a speech that
will be well-received........... ....................
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