HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1994-02-02, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 2,1994. PAGE 5.
Arthur Black
Writing for
a living is to
whimper ruefully
In America, only the successful writer is
important. In France, all writers are
important. In England, no writer is
important. In Australia, you have to
explain what a writer is.
Geoffrey Cotterell
And in Canada? What of the Great White
Frozen Attic? What's it like to be a
professional writer in Canada?
Well, as a scribbler who's kept the bailiffs
at bay for 20-odd years wielding nothing
more lethal than a single-action Olivetti, I'd
have to say Canadian writers fall somewhere
between the American and Australian
extremes. Which is to say that successful
writers (Margaret Atwood, Robertson
Davies, Alice Munro, Mordecai Richler)
don't exactly have to take in laundry to make
ends meet. On the other hand they can still
pilot their own grocery cart down at the local
supermarket without worrying about being
mobbed by groupies in the frozen food
section.
People have a lot of misconceptions about
the writing business. The biggest delusion is
that writing for a living will make you rich.
Not likely. If you envision a life of
wallowing in megabucks in the back seat of
International Scene
By Raymond Canon
The highs
and lows
Have you ever been asked what was the
most exciting thing that you ever did, the
most embarrassing moment, or the dumbest
thing? If you have, come along with me as I
take you along the path of a peripatetic
journalist as he wanders around in search of
a story. To take a little break from bringing
you a diet of infinite wisdom, not to mention
ultimate truth, I am going to relate a few
moments in my life that I still vividly recall.
My first editor liked to feed me topics and
he suggested one day that since I was living
in Switzerland, I might like to climb a
mountain. I needed no urging; filled with the
confidence of youth, I opted for the
mountain that I could see from my bedroom
(9,000 ft.). It didn't matter that I had never
climbed a mountain before. I read a book on
it and away I went. I planned on going up
part way and spending the night on the easy
side. I was up early the next morning. All by
myself in total silence, it was strange feeling
my emotions. The line of an English poet,
(Blake, I think it was) came to me and I
could relate totally to it. "I walked the other
evening to the end of the heath and touched
the sky with my finger." I have never
forgotten that line nor the sentiment. I have
never climbed another mountain and I have
never again had the same feeling. I should
add that my feelings must have transferred
themselves to my story since my editor
complimented me on it.
The Iron Curtain now occupies a place in
history but on the day that a friend of mine
and I crossed it on our way to Moscow, it
was very, very real. All of a sudden the
woods of eastern Germany came to an end,
a chauffeur-driven stretch limo, best you try
some other line of work - like mugging or
high seas piracy or criminal law. Most
writers in Canada are lucky to keep their
noses above the poverty line.
Another major misconception about
writing is that it is somehow easy, romantic
and fun. It is to whimper ruefully. There's
nothing fun or romantic about sitting down
in front of a blank piece of paper or a vacant
computer screen day after day. And easy? It
only looks that way when it's done well.
If you ever want to have your nose
rearranged without benefit of plastic surgery,
get yourself introduced to a writer and say
"Yeah, but what do you REALLY do for a
living?"
A brain surgeon once cornered Margaret
Laurence at a literary cocktail party and
trumpeted. "So you're an author! That's
great! You know, when I retire from
medicine, I'm going to be an author!"
Margaret Laurence looked at him through
those hooded eyes, took a drag on her every-
present cigarette and replied softly:
"Fascinating. And when I retire I plan to
take up brain surgery."
Now, don't misunderstand me - I don't
want to make writing sound like the root
canal of career choices. It's not. The only
real dangers in this line of work are nasty
critics, unreasonable editors and the odd
paper cut.
Oh yes.. .and there is the ego problem.
It doesn't happen often but once in a while
your typical Canadian author will become
rows of barbed wire and, overlooking the
road, a watch tower on each side with
searchlights and armed guards. We came to
a halt at the barrier, showed our entry visas
and for the better part of two hours we
waited while they checked our car
thoroughly, called to Prague to verify our
visas and all the things that totalitarian states
do to foreigners. Finally we were allowed to
proceed with the strange feeling that we
were leaving safety behind us. Being
stopped at a road block didn't help and the
only consolation that day was that it was the
first of July and we ended up celebrating our
national holiday at the Canadian Embassy in
Prague.
It helped, too, that the ambassador at the
time was my old boss at External Affairs in
Ottawa. It was a nice send-off to our weeks
behind the Iron Curtain. In spite of the
fascinating trip, we were delighted to cross it
once again, this time into Finland.
My loneliest feeling came when I had to
spend the night at a small station on the
Greek-Yugoslav border. To my surprise the
train I was on southbound from Skoplje (in
Macedonia) only went to the Greek border;
there was no way to get across until the next
day. I ended up sleeping in a bench at the
station. It was lonely enough but it was one
of the few times in my life when I was in a
place whose language I could not speak. The
night was long, I slept only fitfully and when
dawn came, I managed to persuade a
shunting engine to take me with them so that
I could continue my trip. Even then I could
not communicate when I got to Greece since
the only Greek I had ever studied was of the
classical variety. But at least I was on my
way.
For over 40 years I have been a part of the
Foster Parents' Plan and one thing I will
somewhat...full of himself. Put on airs. Act
like he or she is actually important.
Happened to me not long ago. I'd just
published my fifth book and decided that,
dammit, real writers don't go around in T-
shirts, jeans and baseball caps. Chap in my
position ought to look more...well, authorly.
So I went out and bought a tweed jacket
complete with side vents and suede elbow
patches.
I felt like Pierre Berton by way of
Robertson Davies with a touch of Farley
Mowat in my new threads. On an impulse, I
sashayed into a bookstore, briskly rapped the
bell and asked the startled clerk if they
carried "That new book by Black."
"Who?" the clerk asked blankly.
"Black. Arthur Black. Clever fellow.
Probably in your Canadiana section. Or
perhaps under World Humour..."
The clerk had never heard of him (me).
And neither had his computer.
"This is intolerable!" I blustered. "The
man has written five books. Surely a
bookstore this large would have at least one
of them!"
The clerk searched and searched. And
finally, deep in the second hand racks, just
beside the Remainders Bin he came up with
one dog-eared, bookworm-riddled copy of
my first book, Basic Black.
My book had been filed, along with books
by Dick Gregory, H. Rap Brown, a
biography of Mohammed Ali and the
collected speeches of Martin Luther King,
under "Black Revolutionary Studies'.
never forget was the time I decided to visit
my first foster child, a little Italian girl who
lived in Naples. I had seen poverty before
but I was unprepared for what I found. The
family lived, not in an apartment, but in a
staircase. There were sheets hung over ropes
to form rooms. The mother was obviously ill
at ease with me; she wanted to offer me
something but had nothing. She forgot that I
spoke Italian and I heard her order one of the
children to go to a neighbour's and borrow a
bottle of beer. It came, lukewarm but wet,
and I was touched by it all. We later took the
little girl, Giovanna, for a ride in our car, a
Mercedes. She had never been in a car
before and got so excited that she got sick to
her stomach. We bid a very tearful goodbye.
I never saw her again but I often wonder
what became of her. Seldom have I had a
harder time writing an article than the one
describing my visit.
One of the greatest contrasts I have ever
seen was the border between Finland and
Russia when I came across. The Russian
side was an armed camp and we were even
escorted from their border post to the
Finnish one a couple of kilometers down the
road. When we got there, all we found was
one border guard with one little gun. When
we showed him our passports, his eyes lit up
and he spoke to us in Canadian English. It
turned out he had spent several years in
Victoria B.C. where he perfected his
English. What a pleasant surprise it was for
us so far away from home. We had a nice
conversation but then we had to hurry on. As
the saying goes, it made our day!
And so it goes. As I write this, more and
more memories come flooding back but I
think you get the gist by now that, in spite of
all the countless hours waiting and
travelling, life in the journalistic lane does
have its moments.
Thoughts on the
‘vast wasteland’
I've been hearing lately of some new
television technology which promises not
only over 100 channels from which viewers
can choose, but the concept of 'virtual
reality'. The latter, with the help of a Star
Wars type helmet, lets you become part of
your fantasy.
According to a recent article in TV Guide,
with virtual reality you can "put yourself at
the wheel of a Porsche or hop into bed with
the computer-generated man or woman of
your dreams."
While that certainly sparked some
interesting musings, my first thought was
"What wonderful little zombies we will
become!" There is data which suggests that
people are already spending too much time
in front of their tellies and with the ability to
play sports from your couch or create a
computer generated image on the screen so
you can shop for clothes without leaving
your living room we may never actually
need to interact with human beings again.
Then I began to realize that it might not be
so bad. With all the people who can't even
figure out how to run their VCR, I would
imagine there would be very few who will
be able to program all the options anyway.
We can let television control us or we can
turn off the control. It basically comes down
to excess; too much of anything isn’t good.
What often gets overlooked about television
is that it is a quiet way for family to be
together. When you finally have the
opportunity to spend some time at home,
sometimes it's just a nice experience to sit
down, turn on the set and turn off the mind.
While other homegrown pastimes such as
reading, cards or games can provide
relaxing entertainment they do require a
degree of thought.
TV is, after all, a "vast wasteland".
Or is it? I am, admittedly a bit of a couch
potato. While I prefer to spend my time
reading, it is obviously a solitary diversion.
So, being as I am seldom 'home alone’ I will
instead often find myself cocooned in front
of the TV with hubby and kids when the
long, weary day is coming to an end.
This happened on Sunday. After a tiring
Saturday of running, cleaning, cooking and
entertaining we were all ready to just
"vegge." The main program choice in our
home is movies, either taped or on TMN,
because quite frankly, commercials give me
a rash.
This day we opted for a mindless, innocent
movie that was made with the primary
objective of entertaining, not enlightening.
However, while watching it became clear to
me that there were many valuable lessons in
this trivial epic. It made an example of
judging people by their appearance and, my
younger daughter pointed out, it illustrated
the importance of being rich in character
rather than in cash.
It all kind of got me to thinking,
something I had really planned on not doing
much of. Maybe watching television needn’t
be an inane pastime. Certainly there are
more than enough shows that don't challenge
the viewer in any way, but is it possible that
we are overlooking some of the value in a
few? For example, there is an unpretentious
sitcom that has become a family favourite.
The hero is a thoroughly likeable feisty
female who is putting her life back together
after walking away from an abusive
marriage. I think she is a positive role
model and we often discuss the charac
teristics she displays.
Even a mindless show can have some
point if you take the time to talk about its
flaws. I think anything that inspires
discussion, can't be all bad.