The Rural Voice, 2019-03, Page 16 “What is it about men!” Molly
Whiteside asked (though it sounded
more like a statement) as she filled
the guys’ coffee cups after their
arrival the other morning.
“You mean what makes us so
loveable?” asked Dave Winston.
“Or steadfast and dependable?”
wondered Cliff Murray.
“How about a tower of strength in
an uncertain world?” wondered
George McKenzie.
“No, I mean what gives men such
big egos that they think women
would be interested in pictures of
their crotches sent over the internet,”
Molly said.
“Hey, don’t look at me, I don’t
even have a cell phone,” said George.
“Mabel and I were just talking
back in the kitchen about this Jeff
Bezos character who says he’s been
blackmailed by the National
Enquirer which has disgusting
pictures he sent to his girl friend. I
mean why would he think she’d be
interested in such a picture?”
“I suspect she’d be looking
beyond the obvious to the size of the
wallet in his back pocket,” said Dave
dryly. “After all, the guy’s worth
billions after starting Amazon.”
“A few billion less since he has to
pay off his wife who’s divorcing
him,” chimed in Mabel from behind
the counter.
“What I can’t figure out is how all
of us men get lumped in when one
guy gets caught doing something
stupid,” wondered Cliff. “I mean, this
was unusual enough it made
headlines.”
“Yeah, well what about that
former cabinet minister who had to
resign because of the naked pictures
he sent?” asked Molly.
“You mean Tony Clement?”
asked George.
“Yeah, that’s the one,” said
Molly. “Kinda makes you doubt the
judgement of a guy who used to be in
charge of spending millions of our
tax dollars.”
“Especially when he actually
wasn’t sending the pictures to a
woman at all, but a bunch of overseas
blackmailers who turned around and
used the pictures against him.”
“Everything’s so efficient these
days,” sighed George. “I mean social
media even makes it easier for people
to self-destruct.”
“How do you mean?” wondered
Dave.
“Well this sort of thing wouldn’t
have happened 40 years ago, before
the internet. I mean first the guy
would have had to take the picture
and get the film developed.”
“And nobody’d process that
picture,” called Mabel.
“Yeah, somebody had better
judgement!” said Molly.
“So let’s just say he did somehow
get the picture developed,” said
George. “Then he’s got to send it by
Canada Post who might lose it. Even
if it’s delivered, the picture will
never see the light of day unless the
woman shows it to somebody. And
even if the somebody was a reporter,
it’d take a day or so before it got
reported. People like us might sit
around a table and talk about how
disgusting this picture is but the only
way we could comment would be if
we wrote a letter to the editor of a
newspaper and that would take days
and by then there’d be new scandals
to talk about. Now, with social
media, all that can happen in hours.”
“And a guy can push his
unwanted pictures on a whole bunch
of women, not just one at a time”,
grumbled Molly.
“I do hear that now and then
women send naked pictures of
themselves over the internet,” said
Dave. “Nobody seems to complain
about that.”
“Yeah, but she usually sends them
to a boyfriend who later, after they
break up, sends the picture to all his
buddies,” said Molly. “I tell you,
men are pigs!”
“Careful, insults often don’t lead
to tips,” said George.
“Would I notice if I missed a
day’s tip from you guys?” asked
Molly while turning and stomping
back to the kitchen.◊
12 THE RURAL VOICE
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