HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1993-10-27, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 27, 1993. PAGE 5.
Vetcher red hot
dachsund
sausages!'
I don't mean to whine, but I face a lot of
trials in my working day.
There's the first one in the morning of
course — hitting the deck. Lying there with
the blankets up under my chin and noggin
burrowed into the pillow, I can quickly list
eight or 12 reasons why getting up qualifies
as an Extremely Inferior Idea.
Alas, rising is but the first of many
tribulations. There is the cold blast of water
that invariably precedes my shower. There is
my wretched cat mia0000000wing piteously
as it threads itself between my ankles. He's
saying "Feed me for God's sake — its been
hours since I ate those chicken bones in the
garbage."
Other daily afflictions? Oh, my yes. There
is the scraping of the windshield; the
monotony of the chrome and plastic conga
commute of vehicles on the highway into
town. There is the unpleasant thug who
mans the security desk; there is the
depressing realization that yes, I'm 15
minutes late as usual, and yes, everyone else
is on time, working hard, taking just a
moment to glance at their watches as I hustle
by.
The daily hassles. But none of them come
even close to the mortification I feel when I
face the greatest daily hurdle of all.
Free trade
in money
Lost in the arguments about the pros and
cons of trade liberalization has been the fact
that for some time the industrialized world
has had what amounts to free trade in
money. By that I mean that money is able to
flow across borders with next to nothing in
the way of barriers. So large is this flow that
I read somewhere recently it amounts to over
$1 trillion a day; even in this day and age of
inflated incomes, not to mention debt, that
should cause us all to sit up and take notice.
Lees take a look at some of the ways that
money flows into Canada, probably without
us being aware of it. With the debt that both
the Ontario and the federal government is
carrying these days, not to mention those of
the other provinces, there is simply not
enough in the way of savings in Canada to
account for it all. Thus large sums of it has
to be borrowed on foreign money markets; it
flows into Canada in payment for the bonds
which we have sold and is used by the
governments to pay that portion of their
expenditures which is in excess of their
revenues.
All this has a few side effects; it helps
prop up the value of the Canadian dollar
over what it might be if such flows were not
in existence and it means that the interest
payments flow out of Canada instead of
remaining at home to be spent productively
here.
If you decide you want to spend part of the
year in a warmer climate, you go to the bank
and buy your foreign currency which had to
get here somehow for you to buy it. It may
It comes at the end of my working day,
when I leave my office building and head for
the parking lot. Be calm, I tell myself.
Almost there. Just another few yards of
sidewalk to freedom.
But no. He's there, blocking my path. He's
always there, Gus is. Just Gus and his cart.
A hot dog cart.
He sells me a hot dog just about every
working day. I don't need a hot dog. All
those hot dogs are not good for me. I can't
afford to buy hot dog after hot dog, day after
day.
But I do. I can't resist.
I flat out love hot dogs.
Which is odd, because I mostly don't like
junk food. I don't buy chocolate bars or jelly
beans. I've never seen the inside of Taco
Bell or any Arby's and I only go to
McDonald's for the coffee or to use the
washroom. (Great washrooms at
McDonald's).
Hot dogs — different story. But then, as
junk food goes, the hot dog is practically
venerable. Nobody knows exactly how long
folks have been wedging wieners in buns
and slathering them with mustard, but the
name alone goes all the way back to 1906.
Hot dogs were already popular fare back
then, but they weren't called hot dogs. They
were tagged everything from frankfurters to
wieners and bread, bangers on a bun, tube
steak sandwiches...
Even dachshund sausages.
At a New York Giants baseball game at
the Polo Grounds in 1906, a newspaper
cartoonist by the name of Tad Dorgan sat in
the stands watching the game and listening
By Raymond Canon
have got here because some foreigners spent
it in stores or it may have been earned by
some of our exports but, if you have a look
at the tourist account lately, you will see that
Canadians spend considerably more in other
countries than foreigners (mainly
Americans) do here.
If it were not for this free flow of money,
you might be told by the government in
power, regardless of which party, that you
could go anyplace you wanted on this planet,
as long as you didn't take more than $100
with you to spend. A few years ago when I
explained to one of my classes that
governments had the right to impose such
restrictions, one of my students came back
and informed me her father told her I must
be a Communist to say such a thing. I
invited the father to come to the class and
give his point of view; he declined.
So it is that you can buy insurance from
any foreign insurance company, send money
to a dear old aunt in Oagadougou or
Lubumbashi, buy stocks in Sweden or sand
in Egypt and chances are next to nil that
nothing out of the ordinary will happen to
you. Perhaps it is not so surprising to grasp
the fact that, if money can move so freely,
why not goods. After all the GATT (General
Agreement on Tariffs and Trade) has been
working toward this goal ever since it was
formed shortly after the end of World War
II.
You don't have to go far to see the effects
of all this free flowing money. This fall you
may have noticed that the Canadian dollar
has been bouncing all over the place with
changes in one day of 1/2 - 1 cent being
nothing out of the ordinary. There was a
time when such changes in such a short
number of hours would have meant a full
blown crisis; the money markets are able to
to the food vendors below "Getcher red hot
dachshund sausages!"
He thought about the vendors
"barking"...he studied the dachshund-like
swoop of the wiener in his hand...and
something clicked in the cartoonist's brain.
Dorgan whipped out a sketch pad and
doodled a picture of a real dachshund dog,
sandwiched in a bun and covered with
mustard. Back at the office, Dorgan touched
up the cartoon, then tried to come up with a
caption.
He wanted the caption to read "Get Your
Red Hot Dachshund Sausages!" — but he
wasn't sure how to spell 'dachshund'.
His deadline was looming, Dorgan thought
'ah, what's the difference?' and he printed
"Get Your Hot Dogs!"
— and created one of the most popular
phrases of the century.
Hot dogs show up in songs and on ski
slopes; in centre field and every day
conversation.
Win the lottery? One of the things you
could yell is "Hot Dog!" Remember the
Perry Como hit that goes "Hot Diggity, Dog
Diggity, Boom What You Do To Me"? Kids
who do somersaults on skis are called Hot
Doggers. Blue Jays slugger Ricky
Henderson is a millionaire Hot Dogger.
And I'm not the only one who's addicted.
Nearly 17 billion hot dogs are turned out
each year. I'm not eating all of them.
Actually, I can't hold a napkin to a New
Yorker who captured the world record by
scarfing 17 hot dogs in 12 minutes.
Think he'll ever look at another hot dog?
Sure he will. With relish.
take such changes much more in their stride.
However, it does nothing to make the job of
the central banks easier.
We would all like to have lower interest
rates for business purposes; it makes
investment that much cheaper and, as for
taking out a mortgage on a house or
renewing one, the lower the better. On the
other hand it makes the job of the central
bank, such as the Bank of Canada, that much
harder since it is much more difficult to keep
a rein on the bank rate of interest and the
rate of exchange of a nation's currency.
There may be some people screaming for
John Crowe, the governor's, scalp but he is
really earning his salary these days trying to
do the job he has given to do. At least he has
a goal of keeping inflation below two per
cent and has a considerable amount of
independence to do that job but it does not
make it any easier.
For this reason if the exchange rate or the
bank rate of interest is now where you would
like it to be, don't be too hard on those
responsible for it. It has been said over and
over again that we are living in very unstable
times; that goes too for those responsible for
broader policy. If the central banks showed
the same amount of irresponsibility in
handing monetary policy that governments
have in running up horrendous deficits, we
would really be in trouble.
Got a beef?
Write a
letter
The
Short
of it
By Bonnie Gropp
PM. for
Prime Minister?
Well, it's been quite a few days for
Canadians this week, eh.
This past weekend the Toronto Maple
Leafs broke a record with their nine straight
season opening wins, an accomplishment
that kind of got lost under baseball's fall
classic triumph. Not a ball fan alive, nor
even a few regular folks, will forget where
they were when Joltin' Joe slammed home
the World Series winning home run on
Saturday night, only the second time in 15
years that a team has taken the prize two
consecutive years.
This year's victory was sweetened by the
fact that there was actually a Canadian
player on the team. Rob Butler of East
York, not only got to show up at the plate,
but came away batting .500 in two at bats.
Lastly, a record setting victory of another
kind took place this week, one which could
have a major impact on this country. By the
time you read this Canadians will have
elected its 20th Prime Minister. With a
'Wh000mp, there it is', the nation literally
swept parliament free of Tories, filling it
with Liberals.
Since my first run at the polls, a few years
back, I have fluctuated on whether to vote
for the candidate or for the person who will
lead the country. Whatever the choice,
though, it was one which when election day
came, I made easily, with clear conscience
and conviction.
If you read my column a few weeks ago,
however, you know I didn't think that would
be the case this year and now that it's done
I'll tell you it wasn't. As I settled down with
pencil and ballot, I procrastinated some time,
until I began to be a little concerned that the
polling officers might wonder what I was up
to in that cardboard booth. Even when my
decision was made, as I walked back to my
car, I was vaguely discomfitted.
I had tried to follow my own advice, to
establish a belief in someone and I did.
Unfortunately he wasn't in the running for
PM, though his initials do fit.
Blue Jay designated hitter Paul Molitor
has to me exemplified a style this year, that
our politicians could well afford to emulate.
Though an American, he embraced this
country and its people warmly. His sheer
desire to win made him a star among his fans
and his peers, inspiring the latter to succeed
on his behalf, many said. He didn't expect
good things to happen, he quietly, and
without asking for recognition made them
happen. He's a team player —
And on top of it all, one class act.
Good leaders need that same drive and
charisma that Molitor has. They should be
calm in adversity, yet have enough fire,
enough passion for the job, that you believe
they can succeed. Their actions should be
the positive example followed by their party.
No matter how rough the going looks the
leaders are the ones who, through
determination, faith and drive, prove it isn't
over until the last inning.
Time will tell whether Chretien can be that
kind of leader. If he can be the type of
leader Molitor is, can make us feel as if
we're playing on the same team, and find a
way to give Canada a boost, both morally
and economically, it will be a refreshing
surprise. It's been a long time since
Canadians have felt that kind of support for
their leaders.
And if he's not that kind of leader, who
knows, maybe we can convince Molitor to
change iris citizenship and run next election!
Arthur Black
International Scene