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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1993-08-18, Page 5International Scene y naymono canon THE cinchN, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 18, 1993. PAGE 5. Dogs barking, a weird thing This is a column about my dog. Rufus is a podgy, middle-aged mutt who came into my life under false pretenses. The pet store owner assured me, as he was pocketing my cheque for 90 bucks, that the bundle of fur in the cardboard box was pure Australian Shepherd. I didn't know what an Australian Shepherd was, but it sounded kind of exotic, so I bought him. That was seven years ago. Now, I know what an Australian Shepherd looks like. And my dog isn't one. Mind you, he'd be the Arnold Schwartzenegger of Australian Shepherds if he was one. Australian Shepherds are mid- size dogs, built light and wiry for all that shepherding they have to do. My dog tips the scales at 85 pounds. He carries his bulk under a coat of short black hair tastefully touched up at the legs and tail tip with splashes of white. Fitting that he should sport the colours of a What constitutes a citizen? Every country has specific rules as to how you become a citizen if you were not born in the country but even that prerogative is being called into question as various nations, either new or revised, come to grips with the question of who should be allowed to vote or even stay. It is not always a cut and dried proposition and more than a few people's noses are out of joint when it is discovered that they have been relegated to something approaching a second-class citizen. Take the three Baltic states, for example, which recently gained their independence from the Soviet Union since being under control of that country dating back to the beginning of World War H in 1939. To start with Estonia, when it was absorbed by Moscow, about eight per cent of its population was considered, from an ethnic point of view, to be Russian. By the time the Estonians got their country back, this eight per cent had increased to 28 per cent. Because they were Russians, many of them held important jobs in Estonia under Communist hegemony and a considerable number of them did not bother to learn Estonian or even live like Estonians. When the Estonian government got around to drawing up a citizenship law, many of these Russians found themselves out in the cold. It seemed that the only ones who would be allowed to stay would be those who were there in 1940 or the descendants of such people. This seemed a bit too harsh so the law was modified to include those who are lawfully employed in civilian jobs, or who are included in the country's social welfare program. There are still some grey areas but at least the government is headed in the right direction. Latvia, which borders on Estonia, has a much larger percentage of aliens, so much so that the country still has not got around to establishing the sort of law which we just police car, since he's almost as wide as one. He certainly doesn't have the metabolism of a working farm dog. If Rufus moved any less he'd have to be reclassified as a garden plant. Rufus's idea of a perfect day is one spent lying on his back with his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth while he passes gas. He doesn't sit up, beg, fetch sticks or roll over on command. He's scared of cats, not fussy about other dogs and basically a bit of a chickenbleep when it comes to anything that moves. But he does have one unsurpassed talent, my Rufus. He can bark. Lord, can he bark. To knock on the front door of my house is to unleash a firestorm of barks and woofs that shiver the timbers and rattle the windows and cause roof shingles to curl. It's a weird thing, dogs barking. Kind of a neurotic habit they picked up when they became domesticated. Wolves only bark when they're young. As they mature, wolves develop a more sophisticated language of guttural growls and snarls. But not dogs. "They're immature, like teenagers" says biologist Raymond Coppinger, "very hard to train." That certainly fits Rufus. I've tried everything from dog biscuits to verbal looked at in Estonia. Lithuania, on the contrary, started out by offering citizenship rights to anybody who was a permanent resident. However this generosity ended in 1991 and the current requirements include a language test and 10 years of residence. These three countries are new at the game; Germany, on the other hand, is not. The rules in that country are downright unique. The German government decreed that the right of citizenship was a blood, not a birthright. This means that ethnic Germans who have been living in other European countries or even Asia, are allowed to get a German passport on demand. However, the children of guest workers who have been born and brought up in Germany, speak perfect German and have little or no contact with their families' countries of origin have to wait years before they can get German citizenship; as a result few have even bothered to try. Even some of the ethnic Germans are finding it hard to prove their origin. One questionnaire contains no less than 59 pages while I can vouch for the fact some of the ethnic Germans speak something less than good German. In addition a lot of documents were lost during World War II, a fact that is making it had for some people to prove citizenship of any kind. The recent break-up of Czechoslovakia caused further citizenship problems. Much of the problem rests in the hands of the Czechs whose government has decreed that dual citizenship will be honoured with any country that does not officially bar it. There is one exception and that is Slovakia. The Slovaks are understandably upset, claiming that there is an unwritten agreement on the question of dual citizenship. If I can relate to this, it is because I, too, had my own problems. I discovered to my surprise and horror that there was no document to prove that I had ever entered Canada legally or officially. I was doing military service at the time and I was curtly informed that, as I was neither a British subject nor a Canadian citizen, as far as the government was concerned, I was threats and banishment to the basement. Rufus just keeps on barking. Apparently, I'm lucky. Rufus ONLY barks when somebody comes to the door. Doctor Coppinger claims that dogs may bark at the moon, at the wind or just for the hell of it. He once clocked a sheep dog in Minnesota that barked non-stop for seven hours. At, as far as Doctor Coppinger could tell, nothing in particular. Back in the old days when we hung out in caves and carried clubs and spears, it must have been dandy to have four legged burglar alarms sleeping beside you. Dogs smell and hear intruders long before dozy old'homo sapiens do. Which I guess is all Rufus is doing when he barks. He's telling the rest of us — members of his "pack" — that there's a sabre- toothed tiger on the front porch. Did you know that dogs bark in different languages? According to a report called "A Glossary of Sounds Made by Dogs and Cats", pooches which say 'bow-wow' here in Canada, say 'haf-har in Czechoslovakia. In Greece they go `rav-ray'; in Spain they go `guau-guau'. Taiwanese dogs say `wang- wang'; Laotian dogs say `voon-voon'. I think I'll read this report to Rufus. If he's going to bark, he might as well learn a few languages. "stateless." In the aftermath of World War II try wandering around this planet with a document that says you are a stateless citizen. In due time everything got straightened out but until it did I ran into any number of road blocks. For this reason when I travel with a Canadian passport today, it means a great deal more to me than it does to many. I worked a lot harder to get my Canadian citizenship than most people. Letters MPP says costs down Continued from page 4 in tourist dollars and keep our Huron dollars in the community. Entertainment is big business and with tourism it is becoming a bigger part of Huron's economic life. Projects like roads and sewers have an obvious impact as they allow for the speedy transport of people and goods and allow for the growth through house construction. The other side of the coin is that Ontario has, and will continue to reduce the cost of running the government. Operating costs in almost all ministries are down sharply. The objective of the Social Contract was to reduce the operating cost of government and control the growth of the deficit. When the government's costs outstrip its income then the costs of borrowing goes up and in some serious cases international bankers make the decisions for you. When this happens these decisions benefit them, not the people. The first thing the international bankers hit is health care, then education and any service which help people. Your government faces a very tough situation. It must juggle the need to get people working, retrain people for a changed economy, control the cost of government, and maintain the services that people expect in Ontario. There is no short or easy answer. Paul Klopp, MPP Huron. The Short of it By Bonnie Gropp Let's be fair Sometimes you just have to wonder. Last week while coming home from work, a story on the radio caught my attention. It would seem the powers that be have determined that female corrections officers can conduct searches of male prisoners and can enter their cells unannounced. It is not an infringement of their rights. However, and this should come as no surprise, this doesn't work the other way. This is equal rights? Whatever happened to, you know, sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander? I wracked my brain trying to come up with a logical explanation for this one that I maybe hadn't heard, but in my wildest imaginings I couldn't. We really have come a long way, baby. Right to the point where it's okay if the opposite gender suffers injustices as long as we gain ground. What a victory. Beware gentleman; women still have a long way to go. There are a lot of men who treat females pretty badly. But is this really playing fair? Have we become so sanctimonious that we don't want the rules to be the same for both sides? I sure hope not because with decisions like this one popping up daily, we're soon going to lose the good guys as our allies. Anyone listening can't help but hear the frustration, already. Some places, like the Waterloo Fire Department did some time ago, make it easier for women to pass their tests by lowering the passing rate for them. As far as I'm concerned this is more insulting then anything that's ever been said to me by one of those macho lame brains, who we must remember aren't the norm. The men weren't happy either. And imagine being told you didn't get the job, not because you weren't qualified, but because you're a man. We're not winning any friends, gals. Heavens, they're soon going to be afraid to talk to us. Just imagine what's going to happen to one of those male cons when he makes a crude remark to the female guard doing the search. He'll be hit with a sexual harrassment charge next. Now there's an issue that's gotten blown way out of proportion. What's annoying is that it's a very important issue, which is being made a joke of by the petty grievances coming forward. Take for example the case of the man who kept a photo on his desk of his wife in a bikini. The female co-workers cried sexual harrassment saying that it was belittling to them. More like 'what's it to them?' if you ask me. I don't like being the object of some neanderthal's crude comment. It's something every woman has been subjected to, but in all honesty I must admit women can be shameless. Men could not get away with the comments I've heard, and said, about them. What it really comes down to is aren't we wasting time looking for insults when there are people with real problems? A person threatened by loss of home, life or livelihood if they don't return special favours is a victim of harrassment, but no one is ever going to take these situations seriously when people keep retaliating for unintentional affronts? Contrary to popular belief all men aren't bad. There are a good number of them who want the same things for women that we want, bat they're paying the same price as the others. If we want to fix the injustices in this world, we have to see this isn't right. Let's be fair. Arthur Black