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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1993-07-21, Page 5Arthur Black THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JULY 21, 1993. PAGE 5. Stories of dumb crooks The most common question people ask when they find out that I scribble for a living, is "Where do you get your ideas?" I always tell them that I steal them. Which is true. I steal my column ideas from books, magazines, TV programs, things I see on the street, conversations I deliberately overhear in the supermarket. Unfortunately, sometimes even theft isn't enough. Every once in a while a guy will find himself hunched over his word processor, a deadline dangling like a Damoclean switchblade over his neck, his fingers poised like twitchy talons over the keyboard and... Nothing. No inspiration, no ideas, not even the ghost of a notion to fill the blank gaze of the monitor before him. Scary...but all is not lost. There's always the Dumb Crooks file to fall back on. It's a manila folder that I keep beside my desk, bulging with news clippings about ruined robberies, fouled-up felonies, heists gone haywire and gormless gangsters gang a-gley. The daily papers are full of them — tiny little 'filler' stories about would-be crooks whose walk on the wild side turned into a pratfall. Times tough everywhere There is one thing about getting away from Canada for a period of time; you can look at the country in a much more detached manner. That was certainly the case in my stay in Europe and my conclusions can be summed up very briefly. We are undoubtedly in one of the most fortunate situations of any of the industrialized countries. That may seem like a strange thing to say in view of all the problems facing Canadians at the present time. We have this horrible debt, both in the budgetary deficit in Ottawa and Ontario and the much less noticeable one in the balance of payments. We also have unemployment running at more than 11 per cent and and sluggish sales at the retail level. Companies in the private sector are still rationalizing their size which means that few jobs are at what can be considered the "safe" category. Finally, even public sector jobs are beginning to feel the heat as the federal and provincial governments realize they cannot put off coming to grips with the deficit. Not a very pleasant picture! It is when you take a look at what the Europeans are facing that you realize we are relatively well off. Of all the countries in Europe, only Great Britain has a lower rate of inflation than we do but the British have little else to cheer about. Switzerland and Germany, the two countries that abhor any inflation at all are both looking at 3.5 to 4.5 per cent and three month projections show Such as? Well, such as the story out of Fort Erie last month. A woman working late in an accounting office looked up to see a man armed with a club. He demanded money, then ordered the woman to get into her car. She did. He waited for her to unlock the passenger door. She didn't Instead the woman drove straight to the police station. The cops immediately issued a bulletin in which the details were sketchy. Officers were alerted to be on the lookout for a man who was "not too swift." Speaking of Not Too Swift — how about Donald M. Thomas? Mister Thomas escaped from jail in California after serving 89 days, of a 90 day sentence. He was captured. He now faces up to 20 years in prison. Ah, yes but he'll go down as Legend of Crime. As the Birdbrain of Alcatraz. And let us never forget the famous Edmonton Two — a couple of Albertan Butch and Sundance wannabes who made Canadian criminal history of a sort the night they knocked over the Petro Canada gas station just outside Vancouver. They surprised the attendant, tied him up and left him in the washroom, escaping with the contents of the till. But they were as I say, from Edmonton, and a little bewildered by the bright lights of Vancouver. Which is why 20 minutes no slow-down in consumer prices. While the Swiss unemployment figures (4.3 per cent) and Germany's (eight per cent) are lower than Canada's, such high levels are almost unheard of in both countries and Germany, for one, is likely to experience higher levels as the recession really takes a bite. As for some other countries, France, Spain, Italy and Great Britain are all looking at unemployment figures in the double digit range. Spain is the worst, with 16-17 per cent and the sad part is that much of this unemployment consists of people who have been out of work for a long (over one year) period of time. Nowhere is there any indication that the figures are going to become better, a fact reflected at the recently concluded conference of the members of the European Common Market. Faced as they are by bad budgetary deficits, there is little that they do in the short term to stimulate the economy. Somebody in the Swiss government must, however, still believe strongly in Keynesian economics. While I was there it was obvious that the decision has been taken on stimulate the economy by public works. Always (well usually) pragmatic, the Swiss have decided that now was as good a time as any to work on the infrastructure, in this case highways. It is a long time since I have seen so many highway repair projects being carried out. It may have slowed down my travelling at times but at least I could appreciate the reasoning that was behind it. One interesting thing happened when I was there. Helmut Kohl, the German chancellor made a speech in which he urged the Germans to stop complaining about everything and be prepared to work harder. At first I couldn't believe it. Telling the Germans to work harder, I reasoned, its tantamount to telling Wayne Gretzky to start later, they pulled into a gas station to ask directions. A...Petro Canada...gas station. The same Petro Canada station they'd knocked over earlier. The station attendant, just removing the last of the ropes from his ankles looked up to see his worst nightmare happening all over again. "I guess they didn't recognize me or the station." He stammered out directions then quickly called the cops. Just as he was hanging up, the attendant looked up and saw...the same two guys coming towards him. Their car wouldn't start. Could the mechanic...? Alas, the mechanic wouldn't be on duty until 8 a.m. The Edmonton Two were waiting for a tow truck when a police cruiser pulled in and graciously offered them a free ride downtown. Let's give the last word to Thomas Russell in the San Joaquin County Jail. Mister Russell, who was doing time for burglary, was startled to receive a government cheque for $26,447. Startled, but not paralyzed. He immediately used $6,500 to post his own bail and promptly left town with the remaining 20 grand. Which no doubt really ticked off the San Joaquin County tax collector. He'd sent the cheque to the wrong Thomas Russell. Not exactly a story of dumb crooks, you say? True. But the bad guys have to win once in a while. playing hockey. However, a bit of thought on the matter led me to realize what Kohl was looking at. The Germans have the shortest work week in Western Europe, generous welfare payments and about the longest holidays. Exports, the bread and butter of the economy, are slackening, as is productivity; some of the unions are asking for too much money too fast and it all adds up to a gloomy picture. Perhaps Kohl, still smarting from having underestimated the cost of reunification, decided to shake up the country a bit. Italy is practically a basket case: I'm sure the only aspect of the economy flourishing is the underground one which, at last count, was about 30 per cent of all economic activity but that is to be expected. The Swedes are realizing their particular mixture of private and public sector economies no longer works and they are scrambling for solutions. Adding all this up, it is a small wonder that the Europeans I talked to, who are knowledgeable about Canada, were envious of our low rate of inflation. They give Bank of Canada governor John Crowe high marks for doing the job he is supposed to be doing. They also look admiringly at our level of exports and the fact that our governments are coming to grips with the deficits. They point out that the stock market in Canada reflects the confidence that foreign investors have in our country. The projections are that Canada will have growth rates of over three per cent both this year and next, a projection not matched by any other country with the possible exception of the United States. Finally, they wonder out loud why Canadians always seem to be more pessimistic about their country than anybody else. Good question! The short of it By Bonnie Gropp International Scene To kill a weed you must take the root A series of little battles can always win a war, but when our battles become too focused and our goal one-sided, we can lose sight of who the opponent really is. This week a meeting is being planned to gather interest in this year's Take Back the Night March set for this September. The rally is organized to emphasize the plight of abused women and address the issue of violence against and harassment of women in general. It is a concern that readers of my column will know I have strong feelings about. I know women have been and still are victims. I am one of the few people I know who does not find the statistics unbelievable. I believe that one out of every four women in Canada is sexually assaulted at some point in her life. I find it alarming, but not surprising, to hear that three women are killed every week by a male spouse or boyfriend. Numbers like this are absolutely overwhelming. Our initial reaction is to discount them as untrue or blown out of proportion, but it's really better to accept them and learn. My teenage daughter will be leaving home this year to begin a new segment of her life at college. For any youth raised in the cloistered environs of rural Huron, this is a new experience, but for a female there can be some terrifying realities. I'm not implying bad things don't happen here; it's just that there's a safeness, a security that is not part of urban life. It can make us a little naive and therefore unprepared. Thus, since her exposure to some of the slimier examples of human nature has been limited, I feel it's important she comprehends fully what can happen. After a relatively insular life it's wise to open the cocoon, exposing the good and bad. Our apprehension for our children when they leave the nest is everpresent, regardless of what their gender, but the ones I have for my daughters as opposed to the ones I have for my sons are undoubtedly different. But not entirely. My eldest, who attends the University of Windsor, has been confronted daily with situations that have shown him a new side of the world. After some of the stories he's told me, I think it's been a good thing that Mom usually couldn't know what was happening until it was after the fact. Take Back the Night, will focus attention on the need to stop the violence against women and on the reality that it should be a priority concern. I can't help feeling, though that perhaps this particular skirmish should be fought on a larger battlefield. There will be no end to the victimizing of women as long as violence is part of our society. Only a fool would refuse to see that women are likely victims, if for no other reason than our physical size makes us vulnerable. But you would have to be equally ignorant to ignore that violence is affecting everyone. Until violent criminals are made responsible for their actions and their punishment fits the crime, until the burdens of living, such as poverty and drug abuse are lessened there will be victims of every gender. I believe in fighting for a particular cause, but to kill a weed you must take the root. Ending all violence is the real issue.