HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1993-06-30, Page 5Just a
reminder
The Brussels and Blyth
offices of The Citizen will be
closed Thursday, July 1 in
recognition of Canada Day.
Deadlines will remain the
same at both offices
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30, 1993. PAGE 5.
Arthur Black
Life's a lot
like that old
ballflinger
Nolan Ryan
I think I've finally figured it out: Life is a
lot like that grizzled old ball ballflinger,
Nolan Ryan.
Just when you think you've seen
everything the Old Crock has in his bag of
tricks, he rears back and throws a split-
fingered, corkscrewing forkball that whiffles
right through the strike zone and leaves you
swinging like a batwing door.
Take, for instance, moi. One of the things I
do to keep the tax weasels at bay is make
speeches. Over the years I've talked to
accountants, doctors, dentists, teachers,
bailiffs, Rotarians — you name it — even
lawyers! When it comes to groups looking
for a speaker, my motto is, big or small, I've
bored them all.
Which means that over the years I've
bumped into a lot of other lamyxes for hire
on the public speaking circuit. I've plucked
at rubber chicken with the likes of Ralph
Nader and Roberta Bondar. I've slurped
vending machine coffee in airport lounges
with Dave Broadfoot and Maureen McTeer.
Bad Czechs,
say
the Slovaks
The Czechs and Slovaks enjoyed a
marriage of well over half a century but,
when the break-up came, the two sides
reacted just about as any married couple
would when they decided to bring the
marriage to an end. There didn't seem to be
any real reason for a spat; the borders
between the two parts of what used to be
Czechoslovakia were well defined, there
were no historical grudges to settle and it
was expected that the two sides would come
to an amicable agreement. Unfortunately
that does not seem to be the case today.
At the time of the separation there were
several agreements made. For one it was
decided to use a common currency which
would last six months and give each a
chance to get their own monetary system in
order. It lasted six, all right, but six weeks,
not months.
Another arrangement was a customs
union. This has resulted in trade between the
two sectors falling to about half its previous
level.
Finally the system for settling trade
payments which was so laboriously
constructed wasted no time in falling apart.
The Czech half has announced that it was
going to stop issuing shares in companies
acquired by the Slovaks, complaining that
the latter are holding on to about a billion
dollars that the Czechs claim rightfully
belong to them. The Slovaks offered to pay
it back in installments but this was refused;
at least this is what the Slovaks state. It is
however, difficult to arrive at any semblance
of objectivity in the matter given the large
So it follows that it would take a lot to
surprise me in the old public speaking game,
right?
That's what I thought, too — right up until I
bumped into the brignt-eyed, roly poly gent
in the rumpled suit in the Air Canada
departure lounge. Was I going to Calgary?
he asked. So was he. On business? Same for
him. Guest speaker? What coincidence.
That was his line too. What was my
specialty? I told him that I liked to fancy
myself as a humorist. How about himself?
"Me," he replied, "I'm an Enthusiologist."
I got him to repeat it, just to make sure.
Yup, that's what he said — enthusiologist.
Turns out it's a brand new word to
describe a fairly new breed — what we used
to call Motivational speakers — spiritual
cheerleaders who deliver rah rah speeches to
make groups Feel Good About Themselves
and Incidentally Improve Productivity.
It's just one of many new ripples spreading
across what used to be the featureless grey
flannel exterior of the corporate business
world. There was a time when a working
stiff joined a firm, worked for 40 years and
got a gold watch on his way out the door.
It's not that simple any more. Nowadays,
workers, especially executive types, are
expected to 'renew' themselves periodically
— often by doing things that have precious
little to do with the business of business.
Some firms sign their management serfs
up for fitness challenges — Outward Bound
number of claims and counter-claims which
have been made to date.
One of the main reasons why the divorce
took place was the unwillingness of the
Slovaks to play second fiddle to the Czechs
any longer. The capital of the united country
was Prague, conveniently located in the
Czech part. Most of the industry was located
in the western part where the Czechs live
and it seemed to the Slovaks that they were
treated as little better than country cousins.
Even most of the leading politicians, with
the notable exception of Alexander Dubcek,
were from the Czech part, which only
rubbed salt into the wounds, real or
imaginary. Dubcek, by the way, died before
the separation as the result of an accident; he
would have been heart-broken by the event
had he lived to see it.
All this may be distracting the Slovaks
from some real problems of their own. It is
true that much of the industry is located in
the newly created Czech Republic but
Vladimir Meciar, the Slovaks' first leader, is
not helping matters any by trying to run the
country as if there was only one political
party worth thinking about — his! A realistic
series of economic reforms is badly needed;
none so far have materialized. Some idea of
how bad things are can be gleaned from the
fact that, when the International Monetary
Fund sent some officials to see what the IMF
could do to help, they threw up their hands
in despair after only three days in Bratislava,
the new Slovak capital.
Furthermore there is a sizeable Hungarian
minority in Slovakia and tensions between
them and the ethnic Slovaks has been rising
with mutual accusations of discrimination.
Since Hungary is taking a brotherly
interest in such minorities not only in
Slovakia but in Romania and Yugoslavia as
well, it would not be long before the
Hungarian government decided to step in if
there is any increase in this tension. As it is
there is already a dispute between the two
countries over a dam on the Danube River.
trips, for example, or rock climbing
expeditions. Other outfits sponsor white
water river rafting adventures where their
white collar flunkies jam onto Zodiacs and
lose their homrims while plunging down
raging cataracts.
The weirdest Corporate Games Playing
Scheme I know is a company that claims it
can transform listless clumps of soft-
fmgered, paunchy paper pushers into lean,
mean, high-performance teams by ... dog
sledding along the frozen shores of Lake
Superior.
"The key to mushing is in harnessing the
dogs" says a spokesman. "It takes about an
hour to hitch up five to seven dogs per two-
person sled. This chore has obvious parallels
to managing people."
Well, I suppose. Although I note that
another firm that's making huge inroads in
the Corporate Empowerment business is an
outfit called Divinitel in Paris, France.
And what service does Divinitel perform
for its clientele?
The same one offered by Madame
Lazonga — Astrology. Divinitel offers hard-
headed, no-nonsense, bottom-line
businesspeople guidance from the stars.
Buy? Sell? Merge? Better check and see if
Jupiter's aligned with Mars first.
Wouldn't work for me. I don't take
astrology seriously enough.
Last time somebody said "What's your
sign?" I told them "Slippery when wet."
This is the largest civil engineering project
currently under way in Europe; the Slovaks
want to continue it to its completion; the
Hungarians object, stating that there has to
be a thorough environmental study
completed. The inference here is that the
dam should be stopped period.
Given the uncertainties in both the
economic and political arena in Slovakia, it
is hard to say what will happen next. For
most countries it is all too easy to find
scapegoats elsewhere and Mr. Meciar seems
adept at doing that. He may be the so-called
"father" of his country but it could well be
that more and more Slovaks may decide that,
having created it, he is not fit to run it. A
general election might just clear the air a bit.
Paul's
Perspective
Continued from page 4
form of employment, any more than any
other health care worker. The Ministry of
Health will work with health care providers,
District Health Councils and other interested
groups to develop a list of underserviced
communities. It is this government's
responsibility to ensure that the related
problems of oversupply and distribution of
doctors is dealt with in a manner that best
serves the needs of all Ontario.
Paul Klopp, MPP Huron.
The
Short
of ►t
By Bonnie GrOpp
A little warning
might have
been nice
It's 1993 and for one large group of
students in our area it marks the beginning
of a new phase in their life and the end of
another.
Grade eight graduation is and for many
years always has been a pretty big deal.
Looking at the girls, resplendent in their new
dresses, parents are faced with the
realization that daddy's little girl has become
a young lady. No more scratches on the
knees and no more missing teeth.
And the guys clean up pretty good too.
I remember vividly my own graduation.
My dress, (please bear in mind this was the
late 60s) had a white top with a black and
white checked skirt. The belt was a
flamboyant tangerine. I wore platform
shoes, giving me the chance to experience a
normal height for a time, and a bow in my
backcombed hair. As an official right of
passage to mark this coming of age, my
parents permitted me to wear white lipstick,
though I and several of my friends did have
to sneak into the bathroom to add some
trendy black eye liner as a finishing touch.
We marched in singing the strains of "The
Halls of Ivy", which we changed for the
occasion to "The Halls of Central", and
feeling just slightly silly.
Following the ceremony, our parents were
kicked out of the gym and I and my peers
boogeyed until 11.
That was many years back, but trust me,
not so long ago. While I maybe can't
remember yesterday, memories like this are
imprinted in our lives. When you take
inventory of your life this is one of those
memories that pops out.
If looking at the nice clothes worn by the
recent graduates didn't make me feel old,
something else did. The students who
graduated this week were in grade one when
my eldest entered high school, yet it seems
like yesterday that I watched him graduate
from grade eight. It's hard to believe that the
second has just completed secondary school
and will begin post-secondary education this
fall.
These same two children will tell you their
mother is a sentimental sap; I get teary-eyed
when I hear "Sunrise, Sunset" and weep at
weddings. But I don't think I'm alone.
Walking around amidst the groups of parents
I couldn't help noticing the shell-shocked
expressions on Moms' and Dads' faces.
These kids can't be this old. How did it
happen?
Where were we looking while it did?
It's nice to watch our kids grow up; I've
loved every phase, well almost every phase,
they have been through. I adored them as
babies, was challenged by them as
adolescents and pre-adolescents and am
proud of their accomplishments.
But, sometimes, many times, I wish I had
known how quickly the years were going to
pass. Not that I could do anything about it,
nor would I want to start it all again, but a
little warning might have been nice. Then
maybe I wouldn't have let one minute go to
waste.
To the graduating class of 1993,
congratulations. Looking back, I'm sure the
years have passed more quickly than you
expected, too. Keep that in mind so that in
the future you always try to take the time to
enjoy your life and your achievements. Don't
hurry the times that will become your special
memories.
International Scene