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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1993-06-16, Page 5Arthur Black
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 16, 1993. PAGE 5.
Stories like
this can
make your day
I hear rumours that Clint Eastwood plans
to do another Dirty Harry movie.
I can't pretend that I'm surprised. It must
be easy work. When he portrays that ne-er-
do-well, rogue San Francisco detective
Harry Callaghan, all Clint has to do is
squint a lot, adjust his sunglasses from time
to time and blow away bad guys with his .44
Magnum.
I can't say that I'm surprised either that
Dirty Harry movies continue to be box
office dynamite. They flog the same
commodity offered by the Death Wish
movies Charles Bronson sleepwalks through
every couple of years — simple, Old
Testament solutions to modern problems. In
the world of Death Wish and Dirty Harry the
lesson is always cut and dried and the bad
guys are always badder than bad. They're
scum, ergo: gun them down.
Would that real life were so simple.
Would that modern justice were even in the
ball park.
The other day on my TV Oprah was
interviewing a prison inmate who had just
been sentenced for dealing heroin.
"What did the judge give you?" asked
Oprah.
Is Belgium
a boring
country?
A friend of mine once said that Belgium
was one of the most boring countries in
Europe. Before I could object to this
statement, he countered, "When was the last
time you were there?" then added, "When
was the last time you wrote about it?"
Based on those two questions, I had to
admit he had a point. I haven't set foot on
Belgian territory in many years and I have
also forgotten the last time I wrote about it,
either in this column or elsewhere.
However, in spite of this admission, I
would like to differ with my friend. The
political cauldron in Belgium seems to be
constantly bubbling much as it is in Canada
since that country, like ours, is a bilingual
one with both of us having French as one of
the two official languages. The other one, in
case you were wondering, is Dutch in the
north part of the country. I should clarify
that by saying that it is a Dutch dialect better
known as Flemish.
While federalism is the goal of probably a
majority of Belgians, there is a vocal
minority who would like to see outright
separatism of the two linguistic groups. All
this has a familiar ring, especially when I tell
you that the most vocal separatists in
Belgium are the French speaking people in
the south.
A bit of background is in order. At the turn
of the century the Walloons, or the French
speaking Belgians, were the more
prosperous of the two groups. They also
considered themselves to be culturally more
advanced and they still do to a considerable
"Eighteen years" said the prisoner.
"And when do you get out?" pursued
Oprah.
"I'm eligible for parole next summer" said
the prisoner.
And the TV audience laughed! That's how
cynical we've become about the courts and
justice.
That's why a little cheer leaps unbidden to
the back of our throat when we see Dirty
Harry short circuit a legal system that's
constipated to the point of immobility.
Hooray — here comes simple, monosyllabic
Harry dispensing instant "justice" in lethal
lead capsules. It's stupid. It's fantasy. But it
works.
And the news we get from the courts
doesn't seem calculated to make Six Gun
Justice any less attractive. 'Some time ago I
wrote about the despondent New Yorker
who tried to kill himself by jumping in front
of a subway train. He lived — albeit as a
quadriplegic. When he recovered
sufficiently, the would-be suicide sued the
New York Transit authority for a million
dollars, claiming the Authority had failed to
protect him.
He won, too.
Last month a woman sued the Chicago
rapid transit system over the death of her
husband. And how had he died, exactly?
Well, while waiting for his train he urinated
over the tracks.
Right on the electrified rail.
The wife sued for neglect, claiming $1.5
million would go a long way towards
allaying her grief.
degree even though the economic balance
has tilted to the Flemish north. Brussels, the
capital, is located right on the border
between the two groups and it is about the
only truly bilingual part of the whole
country. Both sides watch the other carefully
to see if they can detect any sign, no matter
how miniscule, of favoritism from the
capital and there is a great deal of bleating
when one is allegedly detected.
What separatism there is in the north is
mainly due to the fact that some Flemish
think they are paying too much to the poorer
south in the form of subsidies. This brings us
around to the second problem, that of budget
deficits. (That sounds familiar too!). Not
only is there a per capita debt even larger
than that of Canada but the current budget is
showing a large deficit of no less than six
per cent of Gross Domestic Product or the
total output of the country in a given year.
Like Canada, Belgium has cut back severely
on the level of its armed forces and the
bickering got so bad (Bob Rae would be at
home in Brussels) that the reigning monarch,
King Baudouin, had to refuse the prime
minister's offer to resign. Instead he told him
to get back to work and solve the problem at
hand, which he eventually did.
There seems to be no end of similarities
with Canada. As the government attempts to
cut back on the deficit, any segment of the
economy which sees its funding reduced is
prone to protest, picket, complain, point
accusing fingers in all directions except
theirs, of course, and generally carry on as
taxpayers everywhere.
At least the country does not have the
balance of payments problems that we do.
The present current account balance is in the
black to the tune of about $7 billion which
can be accounted for to a considerable
degree by the fact that many of the
administrative offices of both NATO and the
She won, too.
Ah, but every so often the universe
unfolds the way it ought to. I give you the
tale of Dwight Coverson, would-be
Mississippi rapist. One night Dwight broke
into a house in Jackson and found himself in
the bedroom of a 50-year-old unprotected
woman_
Perfect!
Dwight jumped on the woman, slapped
her around, cursed her, and when he had her
thoroughly frightened, took off his clothes.
Which is when the woman grabbed him in,
what would have been an intimate embrace
if it hadn't been quite so ... energetic.
There are no names in jiu jitsu for the hold
the woman put on the man. You won't see it
employed by members of the World
Wrestling Federation. Suffice to say it was
two-handed, vice-like and extremely painful.
"Please, please" whimpered Dwight,
"you're killing me!"
"Die then" said the woman.
"Woman, you got me suffering" moaned
Dwight.
"Have you thought about how you were
going to leave me suffering?" she replied.
With a twist.
Dwight Coverson eventually managed to
break free and get away, but he wasn't hard
to find. Police just followed the crawl marks
in the dirt. They led right to Coverson's
house. Police found him in bed, in great
pain.
I don't know how Dirty Harry would feel
about it, but a story like that sure makes my
day.
European Common Market are located in
Brussels. Sometimes, I think that it is this
that keeps the city going.
The one thing that few Belgians complain
about is the king. He has been on the throne
for a relatively long time and during this
period has shown an amazing level of even-
handedness when dealing with constitutional
problems. He has even managed to avoid all
the scandals to which the British monarchy
has been subjected.
Maybe Belgium is boring in the eyes of
some people. However, from a political
point of view, you would never know it.
Letters to the editor
Continued from page 4
palities and their employees. Members of the
Legislature, senior, non-unionized
employees of the government are all covered
by this approach as well.
Paul Klopp, MPP Huron.
THE EDITOR,
I am compelled to respond to the article
entitled "Why Zero Increases are Difficult"
printed in the Huron County Board of
Education flyer, which was distributed May
12.
The article indicates there has been a
cutback in speech pathology support to the
schools. This is in reference to the School
Health Support Services Program which is
administered by the Huron County Home
Care Program and funded by the Ministry of
Health. There has been no cutback in this
program.
Responsibility for each specific type of
speech and language service is outlined by
the Ministries of Education, Health and
Community and Social Services in the
Interministcrial Guidelines for the provision
of Speech and Language Services document.
This is where the stated "controversy" lies.
Joanne M. Jasper, Director,
Huron County
Home Care Program.
The
Short
of ►t
By Bonnie Gropp
The party
remains
the same
I believe men and women are created
equal. I believe that one gender is as capable
as the other of doing a task when it's
important to them.
However, I also believe that the sexes
differ in what they perceive to be important.
Comedian Tim Allen, in his stand up routine
says he wants to be a "masculinist. Not anti-
women, just into men's things. Those things
that women look at guys and say 'If that's
what you want just go ahead and do it'."
For example, Shriners. While many
liberated women feel put out about being
excluded from certain clubs or organizations
I have yet to meet a woman who wants to be
a Shriner.
Men and women also differ in their
strengths and weaknesses. Not the physical
ones — they're obvious. The ones I refer to
are more subtle but when you become
sensitive to them they're just as evident. It
has been my experience over the past 30
something years that men in general tend to
be less reserved with new acquaintances.
While a group of women will warily dance
around an unfamiliar peer, men will within
five minutes be swilling brew and slapping
backs like long lost buddies.
That reticence which I've seen in many
women may also contribute to some of their
more positive traits. Most of the female
partners in the relationships that I am
acquainted with are the ones who usually,
though I hasten to add there will be
exceptions, respond rather than react.
Though woman will take the spontaneous
jump, there is a tendency on their part to
stand back and look just a little bit before
they leap.
Women's strengths lie as well in their
organizational skills, their ability to be
objective, perhaps acquired from years of
refereeing the kids, and the opportunity and
the drive to succeed. Women in the 90s
have the chance to use their abilities and be
accepted for them.
That's why I should have been happy to
hear Kim Campbell was. to be our next
Prime Minister. Since the guys haven't done
so well, lately I believe that the time for
women to lead is here, so I should have been
elated by the outcome.
Unfortunately, I couldn't help wondering if
Ms Campbell's narrow victory was because
she was a woman. In a country where the
little faith we had in our politicians has been
shattered, where the leaders of the two
opposing parties, most Canadians will agree,
are not the strong leaders we need in this
difficult time, where the choices in the
leading party seemed as limited, did the PC's
feel that their best chance was a politically
correct one?
Ms Campbell's shiny moments were a
little short-lived if you ask me for a potential
leader. She has in the time since her
predecessor announced his resignation, done
little to make me believe we will be any
better off. As a matter of fact, there have
been times when she's made me a little
nervous.
Even if her win wasn't orchestrated a bit
and even if she can bring to the role of PM a
frankness and honesty which were, if not
non-ex:stent then not apparent in Mulroney,
there is one thing I can't get past.
While :he face and the name may have
changed, the party remains the same,
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