HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Lucknow Sentinel, 1984-02-15, Page 30•
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•
As second (and third) marriages become
increasingly common, the:protocol for such
weddings continues to ease up.
The rules are still there, of course, 'but
depending on ;. the couple ( and the
clergyman), any or all of the rules are being
set aside to„ allow for an unrestricted
celebration of each near marriage.
Traditionally, second -wedding rules apply
only when: it's the bride who's"been married
before. If thus is her first marriage, she's en
titled to a traditional wedding with all the ,
tr' cgs' a no' atter how many times her
husband to -be hasgbeen a husband -who -was.
According to tine rules, second -tune brides.
should never wear white at their weddings.
Off-white,., prints;.orether solid colors should
be warn instead. Andanything resembling a
vent ;should be avoided. If . necessary, the
bride can wear a hat, flowers or ribbons in
her hair.:
Second -wedding ceremonies are usually
small and informal with only family and
closefriends attending. If there , are any
decorations or music, they should be simple
and subtle and the ceremony itself.should be
brief.
Except for *pest man'andmaid of honor,
attendantsareloften omitted, Wnless-the cou-
ple has children .they'd lice to i Glade Lathe
wedding. Instead 'of Marching down the ai-
sle, the bride and her attendant enter the
church through the -vestry door and meetthe
groom and best man at the altar. And in-
stead
nstead of a recessional, the newly married
couple -simply turns togreet the guests.
If the bride -prefers a small processional,;
she may be escorted 'down the aisle by her
father, her son, another relative or a friend.
A woman whohas beendivorced isn't usual-
ly given away by her father a second time,
but a young vna w
1M i3^� J; d L �. ✓ 1
although ,second weld kng sermon yes are
usually small, and; intimate, such restric-
tions don't a ►ply'to receptio -their scan be
as extravagant as a couple can afford,. ,
Unlike"atraditional reception, however,
there needn't be a formal° receivingline 'The
brride.a nd groom can simply greet g bests. as
they arrive.. :gid
,lthough the `rituals of the "first dunce,"
cutting the +Caneoffe g, toasts` may
still be`followed, o er cu f et' gsuch ns toss-
ingthe ,bride's bouquet and garter, throwing
rice and la�aVing� a white wedding cake top-
ped with a tiny bride andgroom are usually.
omit ed,
a 's forsthe:second wedding?. Usual-
ly the couple themselves., A' second time
bride shouldn't expe'ctah+erfhtner to foot the
bill again but `Some 'pai inay want to
help out The family cif a first-time` _groom^
may want to clip in aswell.
Birthstone_.
optional choice
All that glitters' is not diamonds, especial-
ly when it comes to engagement rings. Some
brides-to-be opt fortheir birthstone as an
alternative.
January: garnet or hyacinth (a variety of
zircon)
February: amethyst
March: bloodstone, aquamarine or jasper
April: diamond
May: emerald
June: pearl, moonstone or agate
July: ruby or Onyx
August: sardonyx, peridot or carnelian
September: sapphire
October: opal or tourmaline
November: topaz
December: turquoise or lapis,lazuli...
When Brooke and Tom were married, she
was 38 and he was 39. It was the first mar-
riage for both, but each had worked almost,
20 years and had a complete set of household
goods.
Among the wedding gifts they received
were a china raccoon with sparkling eyes
and a set of knitted egg and tea cosies and
pot holders.
"The raccoon was from people who nor-
mally have the best of taste," Brooke says.
"We sold it the next year at a lawn sale. Ac-
tually, it went quite quickly." -
The problem faced by guests • at Brooke
and Tom's wedding is one. faced by a grow -
ing
rowing number of people: What to give to those
who have virtually everything theyneed?
This includes couples who waited until
they were older to marry, those .who have
already lived together and those remarry-
ing.
emarrying. .
Brooke said the gifts. most appreciated
were "anything you could eat' or drink."
Some friends made up baskets which includ-
ed such treats as pate and wine.
- She 'added they were lucky for a couple of
reasons. Torn is a woodworker and many of
his ' friends are . craftsmen who made
something special for them. ,
As well, they wereable to use her sister to
If wedding bells will be ringing at home
next summer, these helpful hints may
smooth out the wrinkles.
Reserve one, room solely for the
ceremony.
Limit the guests to the number your home
is able to accommodate, unless the recep-
tion is held in a large garden.
If more than 50 guests are invited, con-
sider renting a tent, also handy if it rains.
Enclose maps with invitations. • • '
Less formal attire is more appropriate fur.
spread the word to relatives in Ireland "to
save the postage and just send money."
Although giving money instead of gifts is a
tradition. rnany Canadians of European des-
cent have carried on, those from different
cultural backgrounds are also starting to
pass the hat.
Carole Stevens, bridal consultant for. the
Wedding "Council of, Ontario, says she has
received an increasing number of inquiries
about whether it's acceptable ' to put
"presentation wedding" on the invitation.
• The council is a non-profit organization,
supported by more than 200. members in the
wedding industry, and offers free advice to
anyone getting married.
It handles about 10,000 consultations a
year; Stevens said, and she does about 3,000
of them,
She said people - are, giving money even
when they're not asked, or offer to pay for a
part of the wedding, such as the cake or
flowers. ,
Stevens added it's considered a "first
wedding" even when the grom has been
married before and regardless of the age of
the bride. If the bride has been 'Harried
previously, the only difference is that she
must not wear white or a veil.
home weddings.
Make sure of ample coat racks .or use
bedroom for coats,
Be sure the toast to the bride and throwing'
of the bouquet are remembered. '
Nice touches are floral decorations and
musicians.
Keep the bride's bedroom clear for chang-
ing.
Limit the wedding party to a few
bridesmaids and a best man.