HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1992-11-25, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 25,1992. PAGE 5.
Magazine for
convicts not
such a
dumb idea
Why doesn't somebody invent a birth
control pill for magazines?
Have you been past a magazine stand
lately? No wonder our forests are threatened.
We've got magazines for women and
magazines for men and magazines for
children. We also have magazines for left
handed hunters, near-sighted car mechanics,
pansexual computer nerds, overweight home
repair persons and club-footed skateboarders
whose middle initial is “W.”
We have so many different magazines
these days that it's a challenge to imagine a
title for a new one. An American humourist
by the name of Robert Byrne gave it a shot
of couple of years ago. He came up with:
Gimme! The Magazine of Money. Poor
Housekeeping (Ten times the circulation of
Good Housekeeping.)
And my favourite - The Shining (formerly
Bald World).
I guess there are a few magazine
possibilities still floating around. Now that
Dan Quayle's got a little more time on his
^International Scene
■BH_____________________________________
By Raymond Canon
New forms
of energy
One of the things that I teach my classes
is that during history we have had a number
of major sources of energy but that each one
of them has been replaced by another, not
because we ran out but because there was
another source which was better for one
reason or another. Thus we started out with
wood which was eventually replaced by
coal. The latter, in turn, was abandoned in
favour of oil, not due to any lack of coal but
simply because of the greater efficiency of
oil. Now the question arises whether we are
going to see oil give way to something else,
again not because of any shortage but simply
due to our desire to clean up our atmosphere.
To this end it is worth looking at the
measure recently taken by the state of
California. In Sept. 1990 the state's Air
Resources Board decreed that something
drastic had to be done to reduce the air
pollution above Los Angeles; any of my
readers who have been there can vouch for
the fact that it is, given the vagaries of the
weather, horrible, but then so are other cities
such as Mexico City where the polluted air
gets trapped in the valley in which the city is
located. At any rate the board has set a
standard that requires before 1998 that two
per cent of all the cars sold in the state be
categorizes as “zeroemission vehicles.” Five
years later this will be increased to 10 per
cent.
This certainly opens up the market for all
sorts of new vehicles. However, given the
current level of technology in the auto
industry, the only type of car that can hope
to be available in sufficient numbers is an
electric (i.e. battery powered) car. There are
hands he might go into publishing. He could
sign up Millie, the ex-White House mutt as a
consultant for his first magazine venture - a
yearly magazine for dogs.
He could call it Daniel's Annual Spaniel
Manual.
But kidding aside, there is a new magazine
out there that not even Robert Byrne could
have dreamed up.
It's called Prison Life.
It's strictly for folks who are involuntary
guests of the U.S. penitentiary system.
Sounds like another joke, until you think
about the numbers. There are more than a
million convicts in state and federal prisons
across America. There are another 3 million
on probation or parole. What's more, the
numbers are expanding because criminals
are a growth industry. The U.S. prison roll
call jumps by about seven per cent each
year.
So what kind of articles would you find in
Prison Life? Well, what sort of things would
you want to read about if you were doing
seven-to-ten? There's a regular column
called “The Chaplain Speaks” and another
called “Ask The Law Professor”. There's
even a feature entitled “In-Cell Cooking”.
Not that Prison Life is just a kind of
Chatelaine-With-Stripes. It's first issue
featured American's least-favourite lifer on
the cover under a headline that read: Charlie
Manson: Get Off His Back!
a lot of small companies attempting to do
just that but so seriously is this new
condition taken that even the giant cai
manufacturers have gotten into the act.
The drive towards an efficient electric car
is taking place in other countries than the
United States. A Japanese company claims
to have a four-seater that will go over 480
kms. before having to have its battery
recharged. The top speed is nothing to write
home about - a leisurely 25 mph. but the
range is certainly one of the best that I have
read about to date. On almost the opposite
side of the globe, in Denmark, a company
has already sold about 6,000 of its machines
which have three wheels, space for one adult
and two small children. Compared to the
Japanese machine these clip along at a
spritely 37 mph (60 kph). Naturally this is
not something you would take out on one of
the express highways in another country, but
they make a good vehicle for running around
town. The price, too, is not bad - approx.
$8,000 Canadian.
Not surprisingly the Germans are in the
act as well with one of the best examples to
date being the one produced by BMW. It has
a reported top speed of no less than 120 kph
but a range of only 140 kms. It does,
however, have a few notable features, one of
which is called “regenerative braking” which
means that the motor works like a generator
to top up the battery when the car is going
downhill or slowing down.
Batteries do have one problem. It should
not be forgotten that they, too, are capable of
polluting the environment. Perhaps part of
the answer is to be found in solar power.
While there is, in all honesty, now enough
power in sunlight to drive conventional
electric powered vehicles, solar panels could
be put on top of the cars to do such things as
drive the air conditioning unit in the car or
even to top off the battery. To show what
can be done, an enterprising German
inventor has installed solar panels on the
Then too, there's the Prison Life centrefold
- a fetching young thing in a wisp of bikini
smiling back at the reader. This is the
“Cellmate of the Month” - and since there
are several hundred thousand women in the
slammer, the Cellmate comes in both male
and female varieties.
But the factor that makes or breaks a
magazine is the advertising it can attract -
and who's going to advertise in a magazine
for felons?
Well, true - you won't find many Chase-
Manhattan or Yale Lock ads in Prison Life,
but you'd be surprised who has lined up to
buy space. There's a full-page spread for
health food supplements (a lot of cons get
into weightlifting and body-building).
There's even an ad paid for by Island
Records flogging a new Tom Waits album.
When you think of it, a magazine for
convicts isn't a dumb idea at all. Prisoners
just may be the last untapped consumer
market on the continent.
And unlike the old days, the new cons
have lots of pocket money. In the U.S. they
can earn up to $2,000 a year.
Doesn’t sound like much, but don't forget
- room, board and the company uniform are
supplied free of charge.
Plus, inmates have one precious freedom
when it comes to magazines that you and I
will never know.
Plenty of time to read the damn things.
roof of his house. These generate part of the
electrical needs of his house but the bonus is
that, when he is not using the power, the
power generated is fed into the national grid
and he receives a credit from the company.
How will drivers take to battery powered
cars? That is a good question; it will depend
not only on price but on the performance of
the car, not to mention the number of
accessible places to plug them in for a
recharge. It appears that the electric car, if it
gains customer acceptance, will be, for most
owners, a second car. The French have
determined that every other car trip in that
country is under 3 kms. and that a second car
in a household is driven, on average, only 40
kms. a week.
There is, therefore, quite a market for such
cars. What all this will do to congestion on
the roads is, of course, quite another matter.
The
Short
of it
I By Bonnie Gropp
Getting a jump
on holiday
shopping
I used to be a rarity, now I am becoming
the norm.
For my entire adult life I have been an
early Christmas shopper, getting a jump on
the crowds, the rush and the picked over
selection. These days, however, I'm finding
it harder and harder to get ahead of everyone
else.
Anyone who knows me well, knows I can
hardly wait for Christmas, which is just part
of the reason why I start getting into the
spirit as soon as I can. The other part is
simply a case of survival. Two decades ago,
as a young married woman with a seasonly
excited toddler, I had to begin early to lessen
the burden on my budget, or at least that's
the way it appeared. Unable to save money I
used the layaway plan, beginning in
September, and paid as I could. It was either
that or sell my firstborn, which would defeat
the purpose somewhat as he was the reason I
spent so much in the first place.
The trend intensified the year I was
expecting my second child, due Dec. 4.
While some suggested I hold off until after
the baby was bom so I wouldn't have to go
through the extra hassles while lugging
around 20 extra pounds, my obsessiveness
wouldn't go for it. Thankfully! One of the
best Christmas presents I had ever received
to that point (there's been another since)
decided not to make her debut until a week
before Christmas. I got home from the
hospital on Christmas Eve, which would
have made shopping time limited.
As some may not share my obsession for
shopping early, they may find it hard to
believe that it's almost therapeutic for me.
What began out of necessity and later
became habit, I do now for the enjoyment. I
like having the time to browse, to consider
and reconsider. I am thrilled to find the
perfect gift for those hard to buy for people;
I love imagining their faces when they open
it. Though the cost may niggle at my
common sense, my frivolous side has time to
convince it.
When my presents come home, they are
taken immediately to my room for the
ceremonial dressing. They’re tom apart so
quickly Christmas Day that I like to look at
them for as long as I can decked out in shiny
paper and bows.
All of this is done, without the crowds,
without the rushing and worrying and I'm
left with plenty of time to finish up my other
Christmas jobs and even relax.
At least, that's the way it used to be.
Nowadays, it seems everyone is trying to get
a jump on the season. Two weekends ago, I
went to visit my sister in Barrie. While there
I wanted to hit a record store so we went to a
nearby mall and found ourselves in the
centre of mayhem. Apparently, it has been
that way for weeks, my sister said. This is
not exclusive to this year; it seems to
intensify with every season.
With the economy in such a sad state,
perhaps merchants feel they need to act
quickly to entice people into the stores.
Many, in the urban areas anyway, say that
this year they expect recession weary
consumers to spend big. While here
businesspeople unfortunately don't ex
perience the same intensity as the cities, the
ones I have talked to have noted people are
shopping early for bargains.
While many of these shoppers may have
found this the least financially stressful way
to get the task done, I hope, too, they are
finding the same enjoyment from spreading
out the season that I have.