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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1992-09-02, Page 5Arthur Black Airlines spend millions to keep passengers amused I don’t get nervous going through the metal detector at the airport departure lounge. It doesn't bother me when the Happyface flight attendant shoehorns me into the dwarfs nook called 18A that is laughably supposed to accommodate my body. I don't sweat it when the recorded announcement tells me how the oxygen mask will fall out of the ceiling “in the event of an emergency”, or where I can find my “flotation device” in case we ditch and I feel like dog paddling across Lake Superior. I'm a frequent flyer. I can handle all that. I’m such a veteran I've even been known to actually eat the airline meal. Including dessert. None of that stuff bothers me. What causes my hands to tremble and tiny whimpers to trickle out of my throat is the part that comes after the passengers have been strapped down, lectured, wine and dined. It's the part that begins when the cabin lights dim ahd the screen flips down. The in-flight movie. Now THAT'S terrifying. I've never seen a good movie on an airplane. That's mostly because they seldom offer good movies, of course. The celluloid (International Scene 1wW,..,........................................................................................................................................................... ! By Raymond Canon Down Tijuana way I’m sure there are a number of readers who, like me, have crossed borders so many times that they have forgotten how many. They may have a few outstanding memories of such crossings but most of them are routine, bordering on the mundane. One of my most memorable has to be the first time that I went through the iron curtain of cold war days. I was driving from Switzerland to Moscow and crossed over the border into Czechoslovakia. Both the car and we were subjected to a minute inspection and there was a long wait while our visas were confirmed from Prague. The visa, by the way, was valid only for a specific entry point and on a specific day; had we tried to go across by any other route, we would have been turned back. I now have another memorable crossing to add to my collection; this is going over the U.S. - Mexican border at Tijuana. It is about a 20 minute drive from San Diego and you know it is going to be different even before you get there. There are signs in both Spanish and English telling you to watch out for people trying to cross the road, which is six lanes at that point. The explanation for this warning is simple. You are probably aware of the fact that there is a constant stream of Mexicans who try to get into the United States illegally. They are sometimes called “wetbacks” in reference to the fact that much of the border between the two countries is the Rio Grande River. However, at Tijuana there is no such river but the name still persists. After they candy floss that airlines choose is usually so bland and inoffensive it would put Walt Disney's grandmother to sleep. And even when they show a half-decent flick it's been so ruthlessly edited it seldom makes a sense. But what the heck. It's kind of miraculous that we can see any kind of movie at all, streaking along at a couple of hundred miles an hour, 36,000 feet in the air. What's even more amazing is that airlines have been trying to show movies to their passengers off and on for the past six decades. Away back in 1926, a German airline regaled its airborne clientele on a flight to Berlin by showing an early sci-fi thriller called The Lost World. No problem with editing out the bad words - there were now words. It was a silent film. However, The New York Times reported that, “To add to the illusion, the plane flew through heavy, low-hanging clouds, making the cabin as dark as a movie house.” We've come a long way in the 66 years since that flight. Nowadays the airlines spend more than $400 million a year to keep passengers amused. And they don't spend all that money on movies. Airlines have tried a number of entertainment packages over the years - most of them duds. A few years ago, people who travelled on Continental Airlines could hear Ella Fitzgerald performing, live, in the aisles. The same airline offered a special treat for its Detroit-to-Cleveland passengers - business lectures on the morning flights; s stand-up comics on the afternoon return succeed in crossing over without being caught, they have to get across the highway to which I referred above. They will suddenly appear from out of the bushes and tear across the road, trying to avoid the cars, of which there are many. Sure enough, as we were driving along, about a dozen of them appeared right beside us and got ready to cross over. This they did after we passed but I wonder what would have happened if they had tried it in front of us. I had been warned not to drive across the border into Tijuana. It would be much better, it was suggested, to park near the border in a supervised lot; walk across and then take a taxi the rest of the way. For $5 each way that was not too bad and this is precisely what I did. The driver was quite surprised to find out I spoke fluent Spanish; we had a great conversation and in no time at all we arrived at our destination. I won’t say too much about Tijuana since it is beyond the scope of this article. Coming back was the real experience. There is so much traffic heading into the U.S. that your wait could be measured in hours. Even walking across it took the better part of a half hour. Scattered all over were people begging or selling trinkets. This involves frequently the use of very small children but, when you have a population of about 85 million and poverty is rampant, it is small wonder that some of those, who have made begging a way of life, would head for the nearest border crossing point. One of the most memorable aspects of my half-hour wait in a line to cross back into the United States was the almost constant rejection of some Mexicans by the U.S. immigration authorities. These people, some of which were carrying luggage, would have to come back though the line-ups and go out jaunts. The lectures were a crashing (sorry) failure - and even the stand-up comics didn't fare all that well. The turbulence on one comedian's flight was so bad that the pilot left the seat belt sign on for the whole flight. “I had to do my stand-up sitting down” he recalled ruefully. Right now, most airlines only offer one movie for the whole plane, but that's slated to change soon. British Airways is leading the way - they already offer individual TV screens for their passengers and a Choice of six movie channels. Fly first class and you get to choose from more than 50 movies on video. And that's only the beginning. Lee Seaman, a leading in-flight entertainment executive, says that soon “airline passengers will have more technology at their fingertips than anyone else. They'll be able to send faxes, receive phone calls, make hotel reservations from the seat, rent a car, et cetera, et cetera.” Already, technology is creeping like a fungus over the tiny space that passengers get on an airplane. There are controls for the reading light, headset and flight attendant in the armrest. Most long distance flights now offer cellular telephones embedded in the back of each seat. Pretty soon ordinary passengers are going to look like moon­ bound NASA astronauts, surrounded by screens and dials and grids and knobs. I just hope they leave room for the airsickness bag. by a side entrance back to Mexico. I would assume that, in some cases it would be inadequate identification papers although I would not discount the fact that some of them were bogus. Add to that the large number of those who try to get across illegally at some point along the border, and you have an idea of the desire of many Mexicans to get into the U.S. and find work. Incidentally, if any of them are caught on the streets of San Diego or any other American city for that matter, they are sent right back. There are a few other thoughts that stick in my mind about my few hours in Tijuana. One was the comic aspect of the burros painted to look like zebras to attract tourists, the politeness of the taxi drivers and the clerks in the stores but, above all, the nagging thought of a free trade agreement with Mexico. It is going to take a long, long time for the benefits to trickle down to the masses in Mexico. With a population expected to reach 100 million by the turn of the century, the benefits will be long in coming. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2,1992. PAGE 5. The Younger Siae By Chris Roulston It's been quite a year! This has been quite a year for me. In the past 12 months I think I have learned more than I have in my entire life. In the first part of this year I had the wonderful opportunity to study in France. I have had the chance to witness how people relate to each other on a larger scale than my small rural community. During my stay in France, I had the chance to meet with people from many different countries—Germany, Holland, Italy, the Ivory Coast, Algeria, Morocco, not to mention North Americans like myself. I learned a lot from these people. I have seen so many new, different aspects of life that intrigue me and make me proud of who I am and where I come from. The purpose of my stay in Nantes, France was to study there for a year as part of a program with the University of Waterloo. At the same time as my group of Canadian students was studying in Nantes, there was also a group of Germans at the University de Nantes. Over the course of the year we Canadians developed friendships with many of the German students since they accompanied us on a few bus trips around France. One of the girls even opted to sit in on some of our Canadian courses, even though she had a full course load of her own. This girl became the closest to our group and one evening when our Canadian professor invited several of us over for dinner, she was included on the guest list. Each of us was curious about the other's country, and we had an interesting time asking each other questions. It turned out that our German friend came from what was formerly East Germany. This was the first opportunity that she had ever had to leave her country. Her parents were planning to visit her in France and it would also be their first time out from behind the iron curtain. She told us that the city where she lived in Germany was still in ruins in many places from the second World War. Their cathedral, the pride and joy of any European city, was still a heap of rubble. She was also shocked that we could make fun of the university's cafeteria food as it was better than anything they ever received in their university cafeteria. When an East German family wanted to travel, we were informed, they were not permitted by the government to spend over a certain paltry amount in the foreign country, and the choice of foreign country was limited to other eastern block countries. Our friend said she and her family would have to pack all their food for the trip in the trailer since they wanted to spend the little bit of money they had on souvenirs and not on supplies. Our friend showed a great interest in Canada. It is amazing the ideas that European countries have of our country. To the East Germans in particular, we were told, Canada represents a country of wide expanses, great beauty and wealth. It is their ideal dream of what they would like for themselves. It is moments such as during my talk with this young East German that I really feel proud to be a Canadian. I wish ail Canadians could feel this way. We could stand a dose of unity and pride in ourselves right now.