HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1992-08-12, Page 5Arthur Black
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 12,1992. PAGE 5.
Earth like a
sitting duck in
galactic
shooting gallery
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Old Blues riff
You got troubles? I've got troubles. I've
got taxes I haven’t paid, letters I haven't
answered, chores I haven't taken care of, and
friends I haven't hugged. I've got problems.
Everybody's got problems.
And not just the personal variety. Look at
the international scene. Bloodshed in Asia.
Starvation in Africa. Unrest in Europe.
ADDS, Drugs.
One could get really depressed about the
range of bummers out there, waiting to
bushwhack one. And that's without even
addressing the common, garden-variety
vipers that besiege us every day - which is
to say the oil-backed lawyer, the fog
spewing bureaucrat and the fork-tongued
International Scene
Here
I am!
Take
me!
When I was young and innocent, I recall
reading every week in a couple of popular
magazines in Switzerland, a series of ads
which were put in by people of both sexes
and of all ages. By and large what the people
responsible for the ads were looking for was
companionship and, if all went well,
eventual marriage. I recall bringing this
subject up at the supper table one day; it
provoked a round-table discussion on the
matter.
The answer I was given was that there
were a lot of lonely people in Switzerland.
Either they lived in a small community
where there was a shortage of eligible mates
or else their work was so arduous and long
that they had little time to meet people of the
opposite sex. Some of the ads were from
Swiss who were living in other countries and
who wanted to marry one of their own
nationality but, given the circumstances, this
was all but impossible to do. Hence the ads.
All this took place a good many years ago
but I am only now running into the same
kinds of ads in Canadian publications. I
presume that this practice has been around
for a while but I would imagine that it is just
another custom that has immigrated from
Europe to North America. One thing that
strikes me is the outstanding qualities that so
many of the advertisers claim to have. I can
understand and accept the fact that in the
field of courtship you have to put your best
side forward but I would have thought that
someone with so many sterling qualities
politician.
A guy could really work himself up into a
rant about all the terrible and unpleasant
things out there - but a guy should be
careful.
There's a danger of overreaction. I mean,
what if a guy got all hot and bothered over
the presence of mosquitoes ...
Just before a horsefly came along?
Something like that may be happening
right now. Here we are, down here on earth,
shouting ourselves hoarse about German re
unification, the cod stocks, civil rights in
Zimbabwe, when it looks like we should be
paying attention to what's happening
upstairs.
There's a team of NASA scientists that
certainly thinks so. For the past several years
they've been training electron microscopes
on outer space, with particular attention to
asteroids - those chunks of space junk
winging aimlessly through the cosmos. Their
conclusion? Earthlings should buckle up
their seat belts pronto. We're long overdue
for a head-on collision.
Of course, our battle- scarred old planet
slams into intergalactic flotsam all the time.
That's what shooting stars are - bug splats
on the windshield of Spaceship Earth, as it
were. Most of them are harmless - nothing
more than space gravel bouncing off the
rocker panels.
By Raymond Canon
would have been snapped up long ago. They
must have, instead, kept their light firmly
hidden under the proverbial basket.
Now and again I have run across a series
of rfds from foreign women wanting to marry
somebody (presumably rich) from North
America who would take them out of their
life of poverty. The one that sticks in my
mind was a series of ads from the
Philippines where a number of young ladies
(all of sterling qualities) were telling what
they wanted in a husband from North
America and what they could offer to any
prospective husband. Knowing how
depressing conditions can be in such
countries as the Philippines, I can understand
why young girls would be willing to resort
to advertising for a husband. This practice is
certainly not confined to that country but is
frequently practised in Central and South
America.
I have no way of knowing just how
successful any of these advertisers are. It
would seem to me that the odds are stacked
against them from the beginning especially
if the courtship has to be carried out at long
range. But when there is life, there is hope
and I would imagine that a few may have
actually succeeded. Perhaps some day I will
see some statistics on such marriages.
I once came face to face with a rather
startling proposition from a young lady who
was interested in getting out of her life of
poverty. I am not quite sure how the
conversation got around to the topic of
immigration but her face visibly brightened
when she discovered that I was from
Canada, was young and single and could
speak her language.
At any rate she was nothing if not forward;
she wasted little time in suggesting that she
would pay me “a considerable sum of
money” if I would marry her and take her to
Canada. Once we got there we could work
out some arrangement so that the marriage
would be dissolved and both of us would be
on our separate ways. I must admit that I had
heard of things like that happening but,
But that's not to say all encounters will be
necessarily benign. NASA Scientists
calculate that there might be as many as
4,200 asteroids out there that are more than
three-fifths of a mile across. What would
such an asteroid do if it were to collide,
forehead to forehead with, say, downtown
Moose Jaw?
It wouldn't be attractive.
Scientists have pretty well agreed that an
asteroid smashed into the earth about 65
million years ago. It blotted out the sun for
months and helped wipe out the dinosaurs. It
also created a terrestrial pothole big enough
to accommodate the Caribbean Sea. They
reckon the asteroid was no more than nine
miles in diameter - by space standards, a
mere bowling ball.
Should we all start looking over our
shoulders? Probably not, but a glance
skyward once in a while wouldn't hurt. Our
planet is like a sitting duck in a galactic
shooting gallery. According to NASA's
Doctor David Morrison, “the risk is real”.
Which is not to say we should all
immediately make out our wills.
Or quit our jobs.
Or call up distant loved ones in the middle
of the night to babble incoherently about
how much we love them.
Still ... it does kinda put the Constitutional
Debate in perspective, doesn’t it?
when I was confronted with it, I was taken
aback. It took only a few minutes of
conversation to see that she was persistent
and would readily have gone through with it.
I, on the other hand, had a different approach
toward marriage and informed her that,
while I was flattered by her attention, I did
not believe in marriages of any kind of
convenience.
Since I started this article, I note that even
“Canada's National Newspaper” the Globe
and Mail, is running such ads in its personal
column. I can actually write away for a list
of girls from literally every part of the world.
All these girls have impeccable qualities, of
course.
It is a sad situation, indeed, that marriage
has been reduced to such a low common
denominator. Since divorce rates have been
climbing throughout all the industrialized
world, it is not going to make it any better by
introducing yet another imponderable factor.
Yet I cannot help but think just how
desperate many young girls must be
throughout the world to have to resort to
such an approach to get them out of such a
miserable existence.
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The
Short
of it
I By Bonnie Gropp
Taking a break
on vacation
Another summer vacation is history!
As my vacation was coming up at a
landslide pace, I was trying to think of ways
to pul on the brakes. For the first time in my
life I didn't want my holidays to start,
because I knew when they did that it would
seem like just mega-minutes and they'd be
over. I tried to come up with ways to slow
down time, to keep it from sneaking past. I
woke earlier, stayed up later, tried to find
more time for leisure and gave myself more
time to finish projects in the days preceding.
It didn’t work. Before I knew it holidays
were here - and worse - gone.
As I was mulling this over late Sunday
night, I was trying to rationalize why time
seems to be going so much faster. I mean,
I'm not a complete ninny, so I know that
time is not actually moving faster then when
I was young, but on the other hand if
somebody had a good enough story to back
it up, I might be easy to convince otherwise.
I read in a reputable magazine recently -
though the way time flies it might have been
light years ago - that our brain has
something to do with it and there really is a
sound explanation why the cycle of youth
pedals ahead more slowly. Unfortunately, as
we climb up in years, the memory goes
downhill and I don't recall exactly what that
reason is.
However, I do know when I think back,
way back, to my pre-teen summers, the days
and nights seemed endless. There was never
the question of having so much to do and so
little time.
It wasn't that I wasn't busy either or that I
had problems finding things to occupy my
time. My days were full, with never an idle
second. But after thinking back and looking
at the holiday my family and I were just on,
and others over the more recent years, the
pastimes that we pursue reflect the changes
in our way of life. Like our day to day
living, our relaxation time seems to move at
a dizzying pace.
When we find ourselves no longer
breezing through life, but rather hitching a
ride on a funnel cloud, we admonish
ourselves for not stopping to smell the roses,
but it appears to me that it would take a
mighty long holiday before I could slow
down to partake of life's simpler pleasures.
They say it takes four days to get your
brain into holiday gear. I believe it. I took
some minutes one day to curl up and read a
book in a quiet corner, all the while
struggling to shut out those little tweaks of
conscience that try to infiltrate a mind and
soul at rest.
Watching my kids I realized how caught
up they are in the frenetic traffic flow on
life's highway. Whereas when I was young,
enjoyments were simple - hide and seek, tag,
cleaning out a chicken coop, or hiking -
theirs are hurly-burly activities. If it's not
fast, and heaven forbid, doesn't cost money
how much fun can it be? I'll take 90 percent
of the blame for this attitude. My husband, a
former country boy, tries his best to inflict
some calmer sense into the family. You had
to see the initial look of horror on our faces
one day this week when he suggested of all
things, a picnic by the river instead of eating
in a restaurant. My only excuse is that after
juggling work and family, my reaction on
vacation is to go for what seems easiest.
Looking back, it would have been a nice
vacation break for my husband and I and
would have probably shown my children
that you can have a good time doing nothing
for nothing.