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The Citizen, 1992-04-15, Page 5Arthur Black THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15,1992. PAGE 5. The Stallone, Lewis - cultural cornerstones? France: a country where the impossible always happens and the inevitable never does. - Anonymous I believe it's time for we Canucks to count our blessings. Sure, times are tough. The ozone's melting away faster than a politician's promise. The economy's in the dumpster. Quebec's upstairs slamming drawers as she packs a valise, shrieking this is absolutely, without a doubt, the last night she'll spend in this crummy house. And it is slowly dawning on the Indians that, hell, they're the landlords of this joint. And they haven't seen a dime of rent in the last two or three centuries. So times are tricky. Treacherous, even. But cheer up. It could be lots worse. The Free Trade Agreement, for instance. Imagine if, instead of shackling ourselves to the United States and Mexico, Canada was lining up to join the European Common Market. Then, my friends our Canada Goose • . * . - International Scene Foreign elections - an enigma Both the British and the Americans are in for national elections this year and, since they have completely different systems to determine who gets to lead the country for the next four years or so, it might be propitious at this time to give you a thumbnail sketch of how each of their systems work. The British one is relatively easy, all the more so since it is quite similar to ours but the American way of going about it is nothing short of a marathon and whoever wins, the result is total exhaustion. As I said, the British system is quite close to ours as well it should be since we have patterned, as a former member of the British Empire, on the British Parliament. There are two major national parties; the Conservatives have been around as long as anybody can remember while the Labour Party is enjoying about a hundred years of recognition at the polls. It has, during that time, replaced the Liberals as the alternative - to the Tories; the Liberals, as a matter of fact, have all but disappeared. They are represented today by the Liberal Democrat Party, which contains any Liberals still in existence along with those socialists whose earlier membership in the Labour Party was discarded because of the latter's too leftist views. Even before the election campaign started, the leader of the Liberal Democrats, Paddy Ashdown, shocked a few people and impressed others by admitting that he had had a love affair with his secretary. He has survived that much better than he would had he been an American politician but more of that in a minute. \ would be well and truly cooked. Because then we'd have to deal with France. And that way lieth confusion, hysteria, madness and death. It's not that the French are pig-headed or impervious to reason. Au contraire. They have civilized discourse to a glittering, laser­ sharp edge. Which in the long run, alas, has the same effect as being dumb as a crowbar. One of Canada's leading Glamourati, Adrienne Clarkson, spent a few years as Ontario's Agent General in Paris. Her conclusion? “Forget your stereotypes of the French as a happy people fond of light wines and dancing. The French are a tough, hard­ headed lot, who haven't changed since Caesar characterized them in his Gallic Wars as ‘short, stubborn, with round heads.’ I might add that those round heads are filled with big, gray brains, which they are taught to use at an early age ... and they possess a collective will that is the positive aspect of their homogeneous society.” Yeah, well ... maybe, Adrienne. But if they're so smart how come they ain't rich? If they've got all that know-how, how come the French change political administrations about as often as most people shuck their socks? Britisher James Cameron writes that “The simple thing is to consider the French as an erratic and brilliant people ... who have all the gifts except that of running their By Raymond Canon Since the British and Canadian systems are similar, this means that the party with the largest number of seats gets to form the government. The Americans have this complicated campaign which drags on so long that many people get sick of the whole thing. Nothing seems to be simple about that. For openers all the members of the House of Representa­ tives have to run for election every two years which doesn't give them much time for anything except getting over one campaign and getting ready for the next one. One third of the Senate, and it is elected in the U.S. unlike the British and Canadian system, comes up for election every two years, which gives an elected Senator six years in which to make his mark. Then we come to the Presidential election which is the most complicated of all. To a degree you can discount all these primaries and caucuses which are taking place; they serve to determine how popular a candidate is and to see how much he can dredge up in support for the nomination convention to be held later this year. A caucus and the primary are not the same thing but, other than saying that a primary is more like an election, let's leave it at that. Here is where it gets even more complicated. In spite of all the razzle-dazzle of a presidential campaign, here is how he (or maybe someday she) gets elected. There is something called an Electoral College and each state has a specific number of seats in this College, depending on the population of the state. Thus, a state such as Vermont would have far fewer seats than, say, Pennsylvania or California. On election day Americans cast a separate ballot for the one they want to see as President. When the ballots are counted, the candidate that gets a majority of the votes in any state, even if it is a majority of one, gets all the seats in the Electoral College which have been assigned to that State. It doesn't matter how well the party candidates do on their own, the minute country.” That would explain their political eccentricity. But there's something else about the French that puzzles me. It's their sense of humour. Specifically, why do they think that Jerry Lewis is funny? I should amend that. Jerry Lewis IS funny. Everybody thinks Jerry Lewis is funny. Until they reach their eighth birthday, after which they move on to higher comedy. But not the French. They love the guy. Awarded him one of their nations most prestigious cultural honours a few years back. And now the French have compounded the felony. Did you hear who France's Minister of Culture honoured for excellence in the Arts last month? Sylvester Stallone. No, I'm not joking. The monosyllabic centrepiece of Lord knows how many Rambo and Rocky reruns was named an officer of the Arts and Letters. Stallone and Lewis as cultural cornerstones. Go figure. In fact, go figure the entire Gallic mystery. “How can anybody govern a country that has 350 different kinds of cheese?” That's not an original observation. Somebody else asked the question long before I did. A chap by the name of Charles de Gaulle. that a presidential candidate gets 50 per cent + 1 of the seats, he is automatically president. We can thus have the situation, as we do right now, of having the president a member of one party and the majority of the House of Representatives and/or the Senate members of the other party. Remember, too, that the President-elect does not sit as a member of Congress. He and his cabinet operate separately. Neither does everybody have to vote on strict party lines as they are normally expected to do here or in Britain. Is it any wonder that confusion is sometimes the order of the day when outsiders (and maybe even some Americans) view the workings of the federal government. There you have it! I hope it sorts out the confusion for you. Letters THE EDITOR, Gledhill Public School, located at 2 Gledhill Ave., in the east end of Toronto, is celebrating its 75th Anniversary this year. Plans are underway for the week long celebration, which will culminate in an Open House on Saturday, May 9, from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. In order to make this event a success, we are trying to locate all former students and teachers and ask them to contact the school at the above address. We feel that many of the people we are trying to find have moved out of the Toronto area, and will be through your help that we will be able to locate them. Yours very truly, Arthur B. Kelly, George Baker, Publicity Chairmen. Short of it By Bonnie Gropp Puh-lease! Richard Cumyn, a writer and night school teacher recently wrote a column in the London Free Press stating that teachers are neglected and underpaid. His first argument is that a teacher may often have to spend as much as a month out of every year at personal expense going back to school to upgrade his or her qualifications. Not said, however, is that this puts the teacher in a higher wage bracket, not to mention they will still have one month of summer off, with pay. Should those of us in most other careers choose to take time off for upgrading, it is not guaranteed that there will be a pay increase automatically coming to us for our efforts. Not to mention, many of us would have to use our entire allotment of holiday time in which to do it, given that there are few professions so fortunate as to have two months off. Mr. Cumyn went on to say that we (I question for whom he is speaking) expect our teachers to do for our children, much of what our parents did for us. Our children, he says, "are arriving at school unprepared to learn, malnourished physically, spiritually and emotionally, lacking in fundamental respect for people and property." Speaking personally, and for many other parents I know who come home after working all day to sit and help their children with homework, I'm offended at the generalization. Some may, but most do not want the teachers to do our job, just guide them as any other person given charge. When I was a student, which wasn't all that long ago, parents were definitely the ones who taught right from wrong, but there was always a teacher or principal to remind, with the help of a strap, any student who experienced a memory lapse. Thankfully, that power has been removed from the education system, but it was used often enough for me to think that educators have always been a big part in behaviour development. True, children today don't seem to be getting the same guidance, as both parents often have to work to cope with the economic woes brought in part by high taxes which result from, among other things, the high cost of education. And the major portion of that budget goes to employee salaries. Mr. Cumyn notes that teachers, the Rodney Dangerfields of all professions, are paid two or three times less than our elected representatives. Having done a little homework on this, this is true - kind of. The average MP makes in the neighbourhood of $82,000, which includes the tax-free allotment for a second residence. The average MPP makes considerably less. Using the figures for the Perth County Board of Education, whose teachers recently got a raise, they receive anywhere from $28,689, for recent graduates to $63,034. Let's not ignore the fact that our elected officials knew they were well paid; they froze their salaries this year. My argument is not against all teachers; there are many who are quite likely worth more than they are paid. My argument is that there are equally as many not doing a good job. As teachers are expected to wear so many hats, said the writer, the cost of not paying them what they are worth may mean "more prisons, more dysfunctional families, more welfare claimants, fewer skilled, imaginative adults able to adapt to a continually mutating workplace, fewer new enterprises, a continued dearth of leadership." There will be more lotteries, cable channels, assault, addictions, pornography, and "less tolerance in an aimless directionless numbed populace that won't know enough about its country, nor care enough to save it". Puh-lease! If teachers are as terrific as he says, if fhey really want to demonstrate their worth, they will wait until we can afford to pay it, which should ultimately guarantee the respect, Mr. Cumyn says they crave.