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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1992-03-25, Page 5^Arthur Black THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 25,1992. PAGE 5. TheShort Will Rogers perfect choice for PM You feeling a little weird these days? Kind of antsy and indecisive — frustrated and confused? Not to fear - Doctor Black is here to offer his world renowned newsprint diagnosis. Just hold this newspaper column against your forehead and count slowly to ten. Um hummm. Just as I suspected. You're suffering from Terminal Canadianism. It's highly contagious and it's going around. Most Canucks you meet these days are jittery and distracted — as if they're on their fifteenth cup of coffee. I don't believe it's dietary. I don't even think it's physical. I think it's political. Consider the situation Canadians find themselves in these days. Eighty-nine per cent of us loathe and despise the federal government and would dearly love to turf it out on its collective keister. Which is fine as far as it goes — but then what? Jean Chretien and the Liberals? Get serious. Audrey McLaughlin for PM? Audrey who? In the past twelve months, Elvis has International Scene By Raymond Canon Road will be hard for newly - independent countries There is one inescapable fact about small countries; we tend to forget about them unless there is something extraordinary happening in them. That is certainly the case with the three Baltic states of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania. With the tacit or not so tacit agreement of Hitler, he proceeded to take hunks of Rumania, Czechoslovakia, two- fifths of Poland and all of the three Baltic states. Some of the citizens of these three small states fled to Canada and over the years I have taught and been taught by this group of people. They did not let me forget it that, while they were Canadians and glad to be here, a bit of their heart was back in their homeland. Some day, they said, our homeland will be free again, and so it now is, but it must have seemed like an eternity in happening. It is easy to group them as one entity but that would be a mistake and for this reason I would like to devote a paragraph or two to each one. The most northernly is Estonia which is just across the Gulf of Finland from Finland. Not surprisingly the Estonians speak a language that is very close to Finnish, so close, in fact, that they are able to watch and understand TV programs from that country. The capital and main city is Talinnin and the population, which is the smallest of the three nations, is engaged in a variety of manufacturing as well as dairy farming. Like their Finnish cousins they are mainly Protestant and over the centuries they have been occupied by the Danes, Swedes and Russians (twice). Some idea of their industrious nature may be seen from the fact that they had one of the highest levels of been sighted more often than the NDP leader. Who then -- Preston Manning? Mister Rogers meets Howdy Doody? Puhlceze. That's the Canadian Conundrum in a nutshell. Damned if we do and cursed if we don't. No wonder we're all feeling a little nutzoid. We don't have any prospective leaders we'd trust with the good silver, much less the country. But you know what, folks? I have the perfect candidate. A man who would eat the aforementioned schmoes alive in any televised debate. A man whose honesty, wit and charm would galvanize the Canadian electorate so thoroughly it would make Trudeaumania look like a heat rash. Yessir, my man is the perfect nominee for Prime Minister of Canada. Well ... not quite perfect, actually. Only two small drawbacks stand between Mister X and the front door key to 24 Sussex. Number one, he's American; number two, he's dead. Will Rogers is the gent I’m talking about. Born in Indian Territory back in 1879, Rogers made his name on stage with the Ziegfeld Follies doing rope tricks and such. He went on to become a syndicated columnist and then an internationally known film actor. By the 1930's, Will Rogers was a household name. By 1935 he was dead, killed in a plane crash in Alaska. productivity in the entire soviet Union. The middle of the three countries, Latvia, has a population somewhat larger than that of Estonia. They, too, have developed a number of manufacturing industries as well as a broader agricultural base than the Estonians. While they are mainly Protestant, there is a sizeable Catholic minority and the capital, Riga, has perhaps the best harbour in the entire Baltic area. They, too, have known foreign occupation, among which are the Poles, Lithuanians, Swedes, Russians. From a linguistic point of view, the Latvians and their Estonian neighbours speak two different languages. The Latvian language belongs to the same grouping as does English while Estonian does not. The Lituanians are numerically the largest of the three groups and have much more in common with the Latvians than they do the Estonians, since Latvian and Lithuanian are closely related languages. Lithuanians, who are largely Roman Catholic, are the least industrialized of the three countries, concentrating more on agricultural products. They have, however, the most turbulent history of the three mainly because of their relationship with Poland with which they joined in the 14th century as a dynastic union and in the 16th century as a single commonwealth. It was during this time that Lithuania achieved its greatest expansion, occupying all of White Russia, most of the Ukraine and even part of Russia. It was during the relationship with Poland that the Lithuanians switched from the Orthodox to the Catholic religion but, after the two countries had a falling-out, the Lithuanians found themselves occupied at times by the Russians, Germans and the Poles. All three countries were, I should add, totally occupied by the Germans during the Second World War. Al no lime was cither the German or lhe Russian occupation recognized officially by cither the United States or Canada. Rogers would have been the kind of political candidate campaign managers salivate over. He was lean, handsome, adventurous, smart and devilishly funny - often at the expense of politicians. “American diplomacy is an open book — a cheque book.” On Calvin Coolidge: “He's the first president to discover that what the American people want is to be left alone.” On silver-tongued orator William Jennings Bryan: “He can take a batch of words and scramble them together and leaven them properly with a hunk of oratory and knock the White House doorknob right out of a candidate’s hand.” But you didn't have to be a politician to get skewered by Rogers. Al a Boston soiree, Rogers, who was part Sioux, was introduced to a snotty dowager who haughtily informed him that she counted the original Pilgrims among her ancestors. “Well, my folks didn't come over on the Mayflower” drawled Rogers, “but they were there to meet the boat.” Did he ever think of running for President when he was alive? Absolutely not. “I not only ‘don't choose to run’ for President” said Rogers, “I don’t even want to leave a loophole in case I am drafted, so I won't choose.’ I will say ‘won't run’ no matter how badly the country may need a comedian by that time.” Any one of these small countries, or even all of them may pop up in the news from time to time but, like all newly independent countries, the road to any semblance of prosperity is going to be hard. The Finns are helping to a certain degree with their Estonian cousins but, given the high level of demand from all of Eastern Europe, not to mention the rest of the world, the three Baltic states are just a small cry among many. They deserve better but they will likely not get it. Letters Reader surprised by county decision THE EDITOR, I'm very surprised to learn that after 18 years, Huron County Council voted to drop the county's membership in the South­ western Ontario Travel Association. For under $100, the Blyth Festival has been enjoying many membership privileges with SWOTA that have helped to boost our audience attendance figures over the 40,000 mark. Earlier this month, along with 20 other organizations I attended a special free seminar in Goderich sponsored by SWOTA which was extremely informative to my organization. We're now the only county in southwestern Ontario that isn't a member of this valuable travel association. As my budgets get tighter, this is one membership fee that I will not cut - we value this partnership with SWOTA. Jane Gardner Director of Communications Blyth Festival. of it By Bonnie Gropp Weddings- getting bigger and... well bigger From now until early June, my family and I will be attending three weddings, so needless to say, they are very much on my mind these days as my weekends fill with showers and parties. The evolution of weddings over the past two decades is typical of how out of hand our materialistic society has become. From a time when material worth was nothing to value, to a time when valuables are everything, we have set standards so high that in these difficult economic times, not only is it hard to keep up with the Joneses', it's tough to keep up with ourselves, and we have set an example for our children that is going to be a tough act to follow. Nowhere does this seem more evident to me than in today's weddings. Over lhe past 20 or so years, the traditional ceremony has become a perfect example of one-up­ manship. What started as one person's desire to be different has snowballed to the point where these lavishly pretentious affairs seem planned to outdo the others. In the 1960's the idea of having a different type of wedding than your friends, meant standing in a field of clover with only a minister and a few friends present to witness the nuptials. Often there was no engagement ring and the wedding bands were handmade or inexpensive. Okay, so maybe that was rare, but gifts were simple, meant to give the couple a few things to build their life on. Today, the wedding is a reflection of the lifestyle everyone wishes for the newlyweds, with little thought to whether or not it could be just as meaningful with less money spent. Today's gifts not only give them a start, they almost set them up for life. In planning a wedding, couples look for trendy, spacious reception halls to accomodate the hundreds of family, close friends, and not-so-close friends who have been invited and who give those lovely microwaves and VCR's. The changes show up before the wedding day, too. It is no longer enough to have a quaint little shower for the bride-to-be with aunts and grandmas giving tea towels and pillowcases. Today's bride is lhe gucsl-of- honour at several little get-togethers and comes away with enough loot to keep a family of six living comfortably for years! Also, if lhe groom doesn't get enough cash at his little bachelor party, you can certainly expect that the betrothed couple will do very well at the buck and doe. While everyone wants their wedding to be special, the extravagance has gotten dreadfully out of hand. My family and I have been invited to three this year, one where the wedding feast is costing the family a wholloping $100 a plate. Now, that is booze included, but you still can't convince me there's any food in the world worth that. Last year, we were guests at a wedding that was ONLY $60 a plate. Ironically, there wasn't a man there who had enough to eat and several people felt guilty for not enjoying it. That's the other thing. Have you ever noticed that when you are invited to these little do's, for some reason everyone there knows how much the meal cost? Certainly, when our child marries we want it all to be very special. We are grateful for parties and showers, that give them such a good start, but isn't it maybe getting to be a little loo much to expect? One of lhe other weddings we are planning to attend, is that of two university students, with several years of school ahead of them. The service is to be held in lhe morning, followed by an outdoor reception at lhe bride's parents' home. It promises to be unique in its simplicity and I'm looking forward to it.