HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1991-10-16, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 16, 1991. PAGE 5.
w Arthur Black
This column's
about famous
flops
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Old blues refrain
It has not been a good week so far, friends.
For one thing, my trusty four-wheeled
rustbucket has come down with an asthmatic
and expensive sounding raps in its
carburetored throat. Then there's that phone
message from the bank asking me to call
back ASAP. Plus the envelope from
Revenue Canada that I've been shuffling to
the bottom of the In Basket since last
Thursday. And those shooting stars I see
every time I bend over to tie my shoes ...
Know what I like to do when my troubles
start to pile up — besides writing a whiny
column about it, I mean? I like to dig out a
tome called The Book of Failures by Stephen
Pile. It is subtitled "A Splendid Panorama of
Non-Achievement" -- and indeed it is.
Chronicled on the pages of The Book of
Failures are the non-quite-feats and close-
but-no-Panatella attempts of dozens upon
International Scene
Mercenaries still
in demand
BY RAYMOND CANON
Every once in a while I read an
advertisement in a magazine which suggests
in a roundabout way that, if I want to find
excitement, not to mention make some
money, I should become a mercenary soldier
and go off to fight in some noble cause.
Even in my younger, more daring days, I
cannot recall ever having been excited
enough to go off on such adventuresome
jaunts but I have known some people who
did. A few never came back but the rest
were, for the most part, of two minds about
the whole thing.
However, if you are still young and are
having trouble finding work, you might be
tempted to take up such an offer; I am
therefore providing a little background on
mercenary soldiers. This should not be taken
as a sign of encouragement for such
adventures but I must admit that every now
and again I meet someone whom I think
might be cut out for such activities.
If you want to join the creme de la creme
of mercenary soldiers, may I suggest that
you consider the Foreign Legion or La
Legion ElrangQre France, to say nothing of
the rest of the world. Their 8,500 soldiers
comprise the largest purely mercenary force
in the world and consist of three battalions
of infantry, plus one each of parachutists,
light tanks and engineers. You can serve for
five years but I must warn you that the
discipline is very tough. This docs not seem
to deter volunteers since the Legion has no
trouble filling its requirements. The largest
ethnic group in the force are the Germans
with about 11 per cent. This is far more than
Canadians and Americans who make up
only about one per cent. If you are
wondering how many French there are, the
dozens of fellow schlemiels whose run of
bad luck makes me feel like changing my
name to Leif the Lucky.
Such as? Well such as the members of a
British scuba-diving club who decided to get
themselves into the Guinness Book of World
Records by taking the plunge into the most
inaccessible body of water in the entire
British Isles. Pouring over maps, they found
Scotland's remotest loch. They rented Land
Rovers, Highland guides and mountain
climbing gear. They drove 740 chassis
fracturing miles, clambered 7,000 feet up a
mountainside. They found their loch, made
camp, donned their scuba gear, took the icy
plunge into the black, foreboding waters ...
And discovered that the loch was four feet
deep.
A person could have worse luck. A person
could be Michael Fish. Michael Fish is -- or
possibly, was -- a British television
weatherman. Back in 1987, he took a call
from some semi-hysterical viewer who had
heard that a hurricane was on the way.
"Nonsense!" snapped Mister Fish. "There
will be sea breezes and some showery
airflow" he promised. On national television.
Within the hour, Britain had lost 300 miles
of power cables, all rail transportation,
access to 200 roads and one-quarter of all
By Raymond Canon
answer is none since the French are
technically barred from serving but I suspect
that more than one member is a Frenchman
with a false passport.
If you love to travel, you will be delighted
with the Foreign Legion since they can serve
just about anywhere. They are, however,
based in Africa and, since the French left
Indo-China, most of their action is on that
continent.
About as large as the Foreign Legion are
the Gurkhas from the small Asian country of
Nepal. These are deservedly the most feared
soldiers in the world and are hired by the
British government to serve in their army.
Their most recent action was in the Falkland
Islands; their participation was widely
advertised by the British even before the
invasion and the thought of having to fight
against the Gurkhas undoubtedly made many
Letters to the Editor
Disabled organize for more accessibility
THE EDITOR,
Are you challenged by a physical
disability and an inaccessible community?
Recently, a number of physically
challenged adults from different areas of
Huron County met in Clinton to discuss
common experiences, problems and possible
solutions. It was decided that a self-help
group was needed to address service needs
and gaps, transportation, housing, govern
ment grants, etc.
A general meeting to further explore the
formation of such a group will be held on
Saturday, November 2nd at 11:00 a.m. in the
Huronvicw Auditorium (fully accessible). A
light lunch will be available at 12:15.
If you are physically challenged
the trees in Kent. Contrary to Mister Fish's
assurances, it was a hurricane — the worst to
hit the U.K. in three centuries.
My last piece of bad news comes not from
The Book of Failures but the pages of last
night's newspaper. Il concerns the
shoplifting trial of Florence Power of New
Jersey. Ms. Powers' psychiatrist testified that
his client should be found innocent because
she was under stress at the time of the
incidents, due to a recent auto accident, a
traffic ticket, a new-car purchase, overwork,
husband's kidney stones, husband's asthma,
hot flashes, vaginal itch, a bad rash, fear of
cancer, fear of dental surgery, son's asthma,
mother's illness, aunt's illness, pressure of
organizing parents' 50th wedding
anniversary, need to cook Thanksgiving
dinner for 20 relatives, purchase of 200 gifts
for Christmas and Hanukkah, stress of
selling house without realtor, lawsuit against
wallpaper cleaners, purchase of furniture
that had to be returned, and a faulty toilet.
I don't know about you, but a .litany of
misery like that automatically makes me feel
better.
Not Ms. Powers 'though, I guess.
She's got one new woe to add to her list.
A shoplifting conviction.
an Argentinian conscript decide that
discretion was the better part of valor. They
surrendered in large numbers and I can't say
that I blame them. They probably knew very
well what the Gurkhas did in World War II.
While the Gurkhas and the Foreign Legion
are established organizations, the Cubans are
relative newcomers to the mercenary scene.
At the height of their activities, there were
probably no less than 65,000 soldiers from
that country who did the Russians' bidding
in such places as Ethiopia, Angola and
Mozambique. However, the Kremlin has had
to throw in the sponge in those areas and as
a result the Cubans are all but finished as
mercenaries.
Not so for another relative newcomer -
Pakistan. The Pakistanis are a higher class of
mercenaries in that many of the Arab
Continued on page 6
regardless of the cause or nature - if you
know someone who is, or if you are just
interested, you are invited to attend this
meeting.
Let's get involved!For more information,
call:
Elaine Townshend .................482-3073
Glen McLachlan....................482-9581
Pat Watson............................887-6236
Tom Ryan.............................345-2494
Bill Jones..............................482-7208
Don't let the lack of transportation keep
you away. If you need a ride, call 1-800-
267-0535. Special accessible vehicles will
be arranged.
Elaine Townshend
Clinton.
Letter from
the Editor
By Keith Roulston
Separate cages
anyone?
After watching tidbits of the media
circus that was supposed to be confirmation
hearings of a U.S. Supreme Court Justice but
ended up being a prime time soap opera on
the weekend, I must confess if the only way
men and women can get along is to have his
and hers cages.
The fuss was all about allegations that
Clarence Thomas, the conservative black
judge who president George Bush had
nominated to the supreme court, had
sexually harassed Anita Hill, a lawyer who
had worked with him at the a federal agency
in Washington. Thankfully Ms Hill was also
black so we were saved that additional
complication.
Already the situation is messed up
enough. Ms Hill claimed the judge had
asked her out several times and had
graphically talked about sex scenes from
pornographic movies and talked about parts
of his anatomy in a manner calculated to
impress her. The judge denies it. Each has
brought a battery of character witnesses of
the politically-correct sex and colour, to
corroborate their side of the story.
The issue has taken on a life of its
own, far greater than whatever happened
between the two or whatever happens to
Clarence Thomas's chances of sitting on the
Supreme Court. Anita Hill has become a
symbol of sexual harassment everywhere.
There is no doubt that some men do take
advantage of positions of power to prey
upon women who feel their future on the job
may be jeopardized by failure to go along.
It's the kind of despicable behavior that
gives men a bad name and makes life hell
for many women on the job. It's another sign
of man's inhumanity to women, along with
wife-beating, dale rape and the violence that
has women afraid to be alone on the street al
night, even afraid to drive alone al night.
But the problem, as usual in these
things, gets complicated. When a man
coerces a woman into dating or having sex
because of his power there is little doubt he
has abused his power. But sexual harassment
is now defined as something a lot fuzzier.
While few would probably argue that a
fondling hand is sexual harassment, many
might wonder about the power of mere
words. While there can be little argument
that when a woman's direct boss takes
advantage of his power over her he has-
crossed the line into inexcusable behavior,
there may be some debate about the harm,
done by a wolf-whistle from a worker in
some other department entirely, somebody
with no power to coerce. Would a woman,
whistling at a man bending over a water
fountain be considered a serious offence?
What is just plain lewd, crude
behavior and what is sexual harassment?
Bad manners is bad manners anywhere,
whether in the men's locker room or the
women's. Telling embarrassing jokes in front
of people who don't really want to hear them
is stupid, no matter what the sex of the teller,
or the listener. Gender aside, people should
have consideration of the people they work
for whether it's blowing unwanted smoke in
somebody's face or telling off-colour jokes.
Still, the line of offence has become so
blurred. What could be interpreted as
innocent flirting on one hand, could be
interpreted as unwanted sexual attention on
another. How many office romances over the
years, have begun because of flirting? But
today, if the flirlee isn't receptive, the flirter
could be judged guilty of unwanted
attention of a sexual nature.
One wonders if the sexes really can
live and work together. On the one hand
there are still too many boorish men around
whose brains seem to have slipped lower in
their anatomy than the biology texts would
show. On the other hand, there are a growing
number of women who seem ready to take
offence, not just al real threats, but at any
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