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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1991-10-16, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 16, 1991. PAGE 5. w Arthur Black This column's about famous flops Nobody knows the trouble I've seen Old blues refrain It has not been a good week so far, friends. For one thing, my trusty four-wheeled rustbucket has come down with an asthmatic and expensive sounding raps in its carburetored throat. Then there's that phone message from the bank asking me to call back ASAP. Plus the envelope from Revenue Canada that I've been shuffling to the bottom of the In Basket since last Thursday. And those shooting stars I see every time I bend over to tie my shoes ... Know what I like to do when my troubles start to pile up — besides writing a whiny column about it, I mean? I like to dig out a tome called The Book of Failures by Stephen Pile. It is subtitled "A Splendid Panorama of Non-Achievement" -- and indeed it is. Chronicled on the pages of The Book of Failures are the non-quite-feats and close- but-no-Panatella attempts of dozens upon International Scene Mercenaries still in demand BY RAYMOND CANON Every once in a while I read an advertisement in a magazine which suggests in a roundabout way that, if I want to find excitement, not to mention make some money, I should become a mercenary soldier and go off to fight in some noble cause. Even in my younger, more daring days, I cannot recall ever having been excited enough to go off on such adventuresome jaunts but I have known some people who did. A few never came back but the rest were, for the most part, of two minds about the whole thing. However, if you are still young and are having trouble finding work, you might be tempted to take up such an offer; I am therefore providing a little background on mercenary soldiers. This should not be taken as a sign of encouragement for such adventures but I must admit that every now and again I meet someone whom I think might be cut out for such activities. If you want to join the creme de la creme of mercenary soldiers, may I suggest that you consider the Foreign Legion or La Legion ElrangQre France, to say nothing of the rest of the world. Their 8,500 soldiers comprise the largest purely mercenary force in the world and consist of three battalions of infantry, plus one each of parachutists, light tanks and engineers. You can serve for five years but I must warn you that the discipline is very tough. This docs not seem to deter volunteers since the Legion has no trouble filling its requirements. The largest ethnic group in the force are the Germans with about 11 per cent. This is far more than Canadians and Americans who make up only about one per cent. If you are wondering how many French there are, the dozens of fellow schlemiels whose run of bad luck makes me feel like changing my name to Leif the Lucky. Such as? Well such as the members of a British scuba-diving club who decided to get themselves into the Guinness Book of World Records by taking the plunge into the most inaccessible body of water in the entire British Isles. Pouring over maps, they found Scotland's remotest loch. They rented Land Rovers, Highland guides and mountain climbing gear. They drove 740 chassis­ fracturing miles, clambered 7,000 feet up a mountainside. They found their loch, made camp, donned their scuba gear, took the icy plunge into the black, foreboding waters ... And discovered that the loch was four feet deep. A person could have worse luck. A person could be Michael Fish. Michael Fish is -- or possibly, was -- a British television weatherman. Back in 1987, he took a call from some semi-hysterical viewer who had heard that a hurricane was on the way. "Nonsense!" snapped Mister Fish. "There will be sea breezes and some showery airflow" he promised. On national television. Within the hour, Britain had lost 300 miles of power cables, all rail transportation, access to 200 roads and one-quarter of all By Raymond Canon answer is none since the French are technically barred from serving but I suspect that more than one member is a Frenchman with a false passport. If you love to travel, you will be delighted with the Foreign Legion since they can serve just about anywhere. They are, however, based in Africa and, since the French left Indo-China, most of their action is on that continent. About as large as the Foreign Legion are the Gurkhas from the small Asian country of Nepal. These are deservedly the most feared soldiers in the world and are hired by the British government to serve in their army. Their most recent action was in the Falkland Islands; their participation was widely advertised by the British even before the invasion and the thought of having to fight against the Gurkhas undoubtedly made many Letters to the Editor Disabled organize for more accessibility THE EDITOR, Are you challenged by a physical disability and an inaccessible community? Recently, a number of physically challenged adults from different areas of Huron County met in Clinton to discuss common experiences, problems and possible solutions. It was decided that a self-help group was needed to address service needs and gaps, transportation, housing, govern­ ment grants, etc. A general meeting to further explore the formation of such a group will be held on Saturday, November 2nd at 11:00 a.m. in the Huronvicw Auditorium (fully accessible). A light lunch will be available at 12:15. If you are physically challenged the trees in Kent. Contrary to Mister Fish's assurances, it was a hurricane — the worst to hit the U.K. in three centuries. My last piece of bad news comes not from The Book of Failures but the pages of last night's newspaper. Il concerns the shoplifting trial of Florence Power of New Jersey. Ms. Powers' psychiatrist testified that his client should be found innocent because she was under stress at the time of the incidents, due to a recent auto accident, a traffic ticket, a new-car purchase, overwork, husband's kidney stones, husband's asthma, hot flashes, vaginal itch, a bad rash, fear of cancer, fear of dental surgery, son's asthma, mother's illness, aunt's illness, pressure of organizing parents' 50th wedding anniversary, need to cook Thanksgiving dinner for 20 relatives, purchase of 200 gifts for Christmas and Hanukkah, stress of selling house without realtor, lawsuit against wallpaper cleaners, purchase of furniture that had to be returned, and a faulty toilet. I don't know about you, but a .litany of misery like that automatically makes me feel better. Not Ms. Powers 'though, I guess. She's got one new woe to add to her list. A shoplifting conviction. an Argentinian conscript decide that discretion was the better part of valor. They surrendered in large numbers and I can't say that I blame them. They probably knew very well what the Gurkhas did in World War II. While the Gurkhas and the Foreign Legion are established organizations, the Cubans are relative newcomers to the mercenary scene. At the height of their activities, there were probably no less than 65,000 soldiers from that country who did the Russians' bidding in such places as Ethiopia, Angola and Mozambique. However, the Kremlin has had to throw in the sponge in those areas and as a result the Cubans are all but finished as mercenaries. Not so for another relative newcomer - Pakistan. The Pakistanis are a higher class of mercenaries in that many of the Arab Continued on page 6 regardless of the cause or nature - if you know someone who is, or if you are just interested, you are invited to attend this meeting. Let's get involved!For more information, call: Elaine Townshend .................482-3073 Glen McLachlan....................482-9581 Pat Watson............................887-6236 Tom Ryan.............................345-2494 Bill Jones..............................482-7208 Don't let the lack of transportation keep you away. If you need a ride, call 1-800- 267-0535. Special accessible vehicles will be arranged. Elaine Townshend Clinton. Letter from the Editor By Keith Roulston Separate cages anyone? After watching tidbits of the media circus that was supposed to be confirmation hearings of a U.S. Supreme Court Justice but ended up being a prime time soap opera on the weekend, I must confess if the only way men and women can get along is to have his and hers cages. The fuss was all about allegations that Clarence Thomas, the conservative black judge who president George Bush had nominated to the supreme court, had sexually harassed Anita Hill, a lawyer who had worked with him at the a federal agency in Washington. Thankfully Ms Hill was also black so we were saved that additional complication. Already the situation is messed up enough. Ms Hill claimed the judge had asked her out several times and had graphically talked about sex scenes from pornographic movies and talked about parts of his anatomy in a manner calculated to impress her. The judge denies it. Each has brought a battery of character witnesses of the politically-correct sex and colour, to corroborate their side of the story. The issue has taken on a life of its own, far greater than whatever happened between the two or whatever happens to Clarence Thomas's chances of sitting on the Supreme Court. Anita Hill has become a symbol of sexual harassment everywhere. There is no doubt that some men do take advantage of positions of power to prey upon women who feel their future on the job may be jeopardized by failure to go along. It's the kind of despicable behavior that gives men a bad name and makes life hell for many women on the job. It's another sign of man's inhumanity to women, along with wife-beating, dale rape and the violence that has women afraid to be alone on the street al night, even afraid to drive alone al night. But the problem, as usual in these things, gets complicated. When a man coerces a woman into dating or having sex because of his power there is little doubt he has abused his power. But sexual harassment is now defined as something a lot fuzzier. While few would probably argue that a fondling hand is sexual harassment, many might wonder about the power of mere words. While there can be little argument that when a woman's direct boss takes advantage of his power over her he has- crossed the line into inexcusable behavior, there may be some debate about the harm, done by a wolf-whistle from a worker in some other department entirely, somebody with no power to coerce. Would a woman, whistling at a man bending over a water fountain be considered a serious offence? What is just plain lewd, crude behavior and what is sexual harassment? Bad manners is bad manners anywhere, whether in the men's locker room or the women's. Telling embarrassing jokes in front of people who don't really want to hear them is stupid, no matter what the sex of the teller, or the listener. Gender aside, people should have consideration of the people they work for whether it's blowing unwanted smoke in somebody's face or telling off-colour jokes. Still, the line of offence has become so blurred. What could be interpreted as innocent flirting on one hand, could be interpreted as unwanted sexual attention on another. How many office romances over the years, have begun because of flirting? But today, if the flirlee isn't receptive, the flirter could be judged guilty of unwanted attention of a sexual nature. One wonders if the sexes really can live and work together. On the one hand there are still too many boorish men around whose brains seem to have slipped lower in their anatomy than the biology texts would show. On the other hand, there are a growing number of women who seem ready to take offence, not just al real threats, but at any Continued on page 6