The URL can be used to link to this page

Home My WebLink AboutThe Lucknow Sentinel, 1979-03-07, Page 9On 1 and 2 year annual interest Rates subjecp change STANDARD TRUST COMPANY 237 Josephine Street, P.O. Box 850, Wingham, Ontario Telephone 351-2022 Offices in: Brampton • Chatham • Hamilton • Markham • Ottawa • Paris • Picton • Toronto • Walkerton Willowdale • Wingham • Woodstock MEMBER CANADA DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION „•.1 • • 41: , i !rnmossini seema,,,,spai Colin Anderson was determined to become an expert in the study of human behavior; especially those activities which we also associate with the birds and bees. Throu9hout his bachelor •life, Colin's education had been sadly neglected: as regards this most important subject. After his retirement, he decided to correct the deficiency. Colin had no intention of finding a partner in order to achieve a more practical investigation Into the mysteries of life. All he wanted to do, by his close observation of people, was to find out what he had lost (or gained) by remaining a bachelor. The antics of Adam and Eve became Colin's preoccupation and he acquired an ancient_pair: of binoculars to get thins properly in fOcus. One Sunday evening, by absolule necessity, I was repairing the fence line, when I saw Colin walking; wearily up the road towards me. He was dressed in his 4' Sunday best - a very shiny blue serge suit which he had purchased to attend a funeral back in the late thirties. His ill-fitting shoes squeaked with every step and he wiped the sweat from his face with a large spotted handkerchief. "They've gone, so they 'ave, back to the city- fer another week. The man's cirivin' a brand new Cadillac an' the wornan's all powder an' paint. Done up like dog's dinner, so she is!” I drove the last staple into a half rotted post and picked up the fence stretcher from the ground - the.job was finished. "What are you talking about Colin," 1 said in a bored'tone. "That man an' that fat woman who come ter the cottage at the weekends. You should see 'er. All pulled in around 'er middle an' trussed up so as she'll stick out around 'er top. Yer should' seen 'er rear end as she wobbled ter the car. All blubber, so it were, an' rollin' around - like a couple o' young pigs in a burlap sack!" .- • "You dirty old man," 1 said, trying to be shocked. "You've been spying on people again!" He looked ethbarrassed and kicked the head of a thtstle a 'few times betore•he replied. \N� I ain't,'" he SaiCII•defensively'. "I weren't lookin' through binoculars.' He thought for a few moments. "Last chance I'll•git „ter look - buildin' a board fence around the 'ouse, so they are., Nobody's gonna see Hershook-hiShead in puzzled thought, "Funny them city folk - don'tvvanneIcnow the likes 'o you an' me." "There's no wonder with people like you gaping'at them all the time," 1 said in all seriousness. "When are you going to mind your own business?" If he heard my question, he ignored it, intent upon finishing his, report. "They don't trust us either," he said in a hurt tone. "Put them fancy spring locks on the doors, so they 'ave, an' dirty big fasteners on the winders!" "1 guess they, can do ,as they please," 1 told him. "It's their property."" I rnade my way back to the house and left him standing on the road with his mouth wide open. Maybe he was 'goifid to tell me more but I had heard enough for one day.' ( was never free from Colin for long. He seemed totally dedicated to his research and intent upon keeping me tally informed. The Monday following the next weekend he came to report, oplivious to the fact that I was working on the next GUARANTEED INVESTMENT CERTIFICATES • ' • - , eWit,Th.t.te—iV---•• • te,74...ettette,Aseetetve•reeette.temstesteeeet,eseeeteseeesettepereentette.t•rmrs-sktetst,,,,e,,,,,,t „ Vet, Acres of Memory BY D:A. CAMPBELL edition of the Grunt & Thunder. "Bet you'll never guess," he said, like. a • cub reporter bringing in his first scoop. "Them city folk, they're nudists so they are. Disgustin' I calls it. Lyin' around on the grass all weekend, drinkin' beer and admirin' each others'belly buttons!" .1 had to laugh and I wagged a naughty finger at him. "You're going to get into trouble with your Peeping Tom games. I thought you said they had built a privacy fence around the place - how could you see them?" Colin shrugged his shoulders and replied in a low voice like a child caught with his fingers in the cookie "Climbed the fence an' took a peek, so I did!" He really had me curious now: "Well, what did you see?" . His face broke into a cheeky grin and he recovered 'his usual reporting style. • "The fat man, 'e was chasin' the fat woman all over the place. She was laughin' an' screamin' an 'e were puffin' •like a steam engine. 'e chased 'er- into the bushes an then....." "Yes, yes, go on Colin, and then....?" "Then I got all excited, sol did, lost mi balance and Jell off the cotton pickin' fence!" One would have expected the nudist' story to have ended right there, but old Colin was a persistent peeper. 1 figured he'd be hot on the trail again the next week and I was right. He came to report to me at the Hungry Hundred the next Saturday ev-ening. "Wot d'yer think Don?" I shook my head but I was curious just the same. "Well, I just 'appened to be vvalkinpast that cottage, mindin' mi own business, like yer said, when 'ears this fat woman callin' ter me. "You there," she sez, "I II give yer five bucks if you'll fetch the locksmith from Redtrees. We've locked outselves out Of the 'Ouse. Do hurry, it's' gettin' quite chilly out 'ere." Then I sees'a knot 'ole in the fence, which I never seed before, \an' 1 takes •a little peek, so 1 does." "And I suppose you saw a tat nude woman," I said, in a hurry to finish his story. • "Nope, she weren't in 'er skinnies. Well, not really, she 'ad covered 'erself up with a leaf!" "A leaf wouldn't give her much'cOver," I told him. "1 once saw a picture of Eve and it didn't do much for her.'' "This one did. It were a big 'un, so it were - it were a rhubarb leaf!" I was crying with laughter by this time' but Colin remained serious. ."Wish I'd seep that knot 'ole before," he said as an afterthought. "Oh well, don't matter. Next time, I to see everythin' - without climbin' the fence!" Lueknow SenHfiel, Wcdnesday, March 1, 1979—Page 9 'PLASM TWO SHOWINGS 7 4 SUN, • THURS. • 0100 SAT. & SUN. MATINEE 1:30 P.M. STARTS FRIDAY MARCH9th- 15th DISNEYeen VERYONE'S LOVE LITTLE the Productions IlEAN JONES micHfu LEEDAvIDTOPALINSON BUM HACKETT STARTS FRIDAY MARCH 16th . SUPERMAN is a hit the sore oi entertainment that can be eruoyed over and over again can t wait to see it again 8094 8440( 77_ fb) 115 a 0.10 t1 5 a pane ,7' ,,firn !hal s un for everyone SUPERMAN voli 08,1 Sends, Pure t,fl anCy anl a7t8er,1,7, 1.12.1.11013.4.411.1) 1it.1.1 MAILON IIIIM100•Glik 4i44140 00.14MILIA 117111111114 CHECK CAP'T COMET'S COLUMN FOR ' "SUPERMAN COLOUR CONTEST" "MIDNIGHT SPECIAL SAT. MARCH1 Oth" PARK THEATRE 000%0 America's favorite family is back! "ENTERTAINING AND EXCITING ..." NEW YORK POST LDE FAMILY PART 3 T civhiliffsratkiftion......,...,•• rover to re ,, • 41/ .... Parring ROBERT F LOGAN ; SUSAN DAMANTE SHAW susPINE IOLiSro . :,.4iR RATTRAY • HAM . .1,4141 g.ssrmriliperRNArinri ,w,RpoicESINr FIRiASE • C7107 Dr 1 I WEDNESDAY -THURSDAY . • 'MARCH 7. AND 8TH .. 2 DAYS ONLY' AT 7:00 .- 9:00 P.M. ' ' - get PHONE 357-16301 Canada's favourite family is back! t•t•t•t•te,•••tett,,,,,,,:. •••••-•'f.r.:•,,,:,..:.*•••••''',,.. • • aIfr . J.- PLEASE NOTE SHOWTIMES — FRIDAY - SATUROAY 7:00 - 9:00 P.M. ALL OTHER DAYS 8:00 P.M. ONLY! The story of a girl who refused to forget she was once a champion. e% fee 8 78r Mak 4181=',I1 r ,. fik elt It e 10".4 ERMA MO A MI opik A ow, min lowskeivabsu 1151 t Ilk es ilk mom imam% 0 \ ow. 111401101% r 111 III 1 li loft sal' RI 17 II alhilik IVO' I ' _ • . ROBERT's'i.:;.L;'AN • SUSAN DAMAN TE SHAW . • HEATHER RATTRAY . HAM LAF1SEN ,,,, GEORGE SUCK' FLOWER • Mi.,,r, ..0 P4.0.d II, AnTHUR R DUOS 0,NoN by FRANK /UNIGA . Mdott to DOUGLAS LACKEY .,,,GENE HAUER • sonroeiaireol, BARRY WILLIAMS A PACIFIC INTERNATIONAL ENTERPRISES INC RELEASE • CAlor INC { I i 979 WILDERNESS FAMILY INC . • t ' •. ' • • . LAS 2 DAYS ENDS TOMORROW •• • PARK T,HEATRE 30 THE SQUARE soODERICH 524.7111 SHOWTIMES 7:00 & 9:00 A marvel of stupendous film-makinq a movie extravaganza AEX REE() -N Y nit •-x,r vamp r \1