The Rural Voice, 1989-05, Page 12Gll7iddau�Iis
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10 THE RURAL VOICE
WANTED: A WORRIER
Super Wrench was busy doing
what all farmers do at this time of the
year. Planning. The old adding
machine was just a'bouncing over the
desk, and scrunched up piles of paper
were flung all over the place.
It was obvious that he needed
my help. I began hanging over his
shoulder and asking really intelligent
questions such as: "Do you think oats
will pay this year? What if the apron
doesn't hang in on the manure spread-
er? Can we afford the insurance on
those crops?"
He finally threw the pencil down in
disgust and reached for the telephone.
"Who are you calling?" I asked.
"I'm calling the employment
office."
"Whatever for?" I asked, "Do
you think we can really afford to hire
someone?"
"I'm going to see if there's anyone
qualified to be hired out as a Worrier.
If I can find someone, it will leave a
lot of your time free to do something
worthwhile instead of worrying."
I left him in a huff and continued
to do the washing. But the idea
seemed to spark that lightbulb which
goes on once in a while in my head.
Just think of all the time a person
could save if someone else did the
worrying.
No more would time be wasted
wondering if the right crops were
being planted. The Worrier would be
responsible for worrying about what
chemicals to use and whether pesky
lamb's quarters would appear like
magic three days after planting.
The Worrier could wake up every
15 minutes during the crucial plant
emergence stage and worry about rain,
frost, hail, and drought. This person
could also take a lot of worrying time
and spend it on what we consider
equipment around here. Will the
person driving the manure spreader
have to fork it off by hand because the
apron chain decided to go on holi-
day? Will a bearing go on the most
inaccessible place on the tractor, and
will it be the most expensive one to
replace? Will there be a lot of down
time while the planters throw
tantrums?
If that doesn't occupy all the
Worrier's time, there are smaller
worries to be worried about in spare
moments. Is crop insurance a good
idea? Will the new budget take a bite
from already severely mauled rumps?
Will the fuel supplier wait another
month for payment?
If worries about the farm are
running a bit low, there are other
areas where a little help would come
in handy. The Worrier could take my
place at the telephone waiting for a
call from the kids. They are two hours
over curfew, it's as foggy as a bath-
room mirror outside, and I haven't
heard a word.
The idea has a lot going for it, and
I could spend my time doing what I
should be doing. Working worry -free.
I'd worry, though, about whether we
could pay this person or not.0
Gisele Ireland, from Bruce County,
began her series of humorous columns
with The Rural Voice. Her most
recent book, Brace Yourself, is
available for $7 from Bumps Books,
Teeswater, Ontario, NOG 2S0.
THE WRITE STUFF?
Wanted: People with an
agricultural orientation who
can write features or cover
news stories, or simply send
in reports of local meetings
or community activities.
Write: The Rural Voice
l0A The Square, Box 37
Goderich, Ontario
N7A 3Y5