The Rural Voice, 1987-12, Page 64r
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62 THE RURAL VOICE
NOTEBOOK
A "RUMPIE'S" LIFE
or, LEARNING TO FARM THE HARD WAY
by Deborah Kennish-McCoubrey
I have abandoned the life of a
Yuppie for the life of a "Rumpie." A
Rumpie, you say. What's that? Unlike
our urban counterparts, we Rumpies are
more likely to drive a four-wheel-drive
truck than a BMW, to grow vegetables
rather than buy food -on -the -run, and to
wear jeans designed for outdoor living
rather than designer denim. I am mak-
ing the transition from big -city living to
country living, but that transition has not
always been a tranquil one.
The actual move was precipitated by
my marriage to a man who was raised on
a farm and with whom the love of
farming stayed. Jim's interest in
farming and knowlege of rural living
had always appealed to me theoreti-
cally. But I was not prepared for my
total lack of knowledge concerning
rural life. I was soon to learn.
I surrendered my luxury apartment
in a downtown highrise, I left my
teaching career and I said good-bye to
my family and friends. We investigated
a number of farms and country homes
near Owen Sound, and finally selected a
remote 20 -acre property north of
Annan. The barn, the fields and fences,
and the fieldstone house all needed mas-
sive repairs, and Jim and I set immedi-
ately to work on the farm's restoration.
I say that the property was isolated.
It was to me, and to complicate matters,
I was totally inexperienced on country
roads. When I went to town, I was never
quite sure that I would be able to find my
way home. I contemplated fastening
reflector tape to hydro poles at key
concessions to mark my way, but that
would have been just too embarrassing
if I was discovered. Instead, I paced off
the turns in kilometres.
Unfortunately, my utter lack of
direction was not confined to the
country roads. Although our initial farm
was only 20 acres compared to our
present 200, I was lost on our own
property. Jim was reduced to drawing
me a map so I could find him when he
was working away from the house.
Once the barn and fences were
repaired, we were ready to keep cattle.
But was I ready? Up to then, I doubt that
I had ever been near enough to touch a
cattle beast. Neither do I remember any
significant desire to do so. But, willing
or not ...
Cattle need to be fed, twice daily, as
I was to learn when feeding the cattle
became my job when Jim was away. In
addition to feeding, I learned how to
connect electric wire fence when cattle
took to wandering. I came to the con-
clusion that my husband was really a
frustrated veterinarian who thought he
could doctor the cows himself. He'd
end up doctoring and I'd end up assis-
ting. It was my task to pour mineral oil
down the throat of a bloated heifer while
Jim kept her still. I was also pressed into
assistance when one cow was struggling
with a breach birth. While the others
pulled the sluggish calf from the cow's
tormented body, I held tightly to the
rope lashed to the cow's head.
Crops and vegetables in their non -
supermarket shape were a mystery to
me. About the only crop that I could
identify was com, but I couldn't be sure
it was cattle or sweet com. I think that I
thought farmers grew sweet corn for
cattle, too.
Our first garden was planted that
spring; it was my very first garden ever.
The planting went smoothly enough, but
when the garden began to sprout I was in
trouble. I wasn't sure which were the
seeds sown and which were the weeds
we didn't want. I just hoed between the
marker sticks to be on the safe side.
As the garden grew, so did the hoe-
ing task. When Jim began to hoe, I
offered to help. He suggested that I hoe
the peas. "Okay," I replied eagerly. I
looked at the rows and rows of green
growth and stopped in my tracks.
"Right. Which ones are the peas?"
My sheer lack of knowledge didn't
end with the peas. My concern that the
cabbages weren't forming proper heads
was eased when I realized we'd planted
Brussels sprouts. Our two -foot zucchini
impressed me until an experienced
gardener said zucchini were best picked
at six inches in length. The squash
showed its true colours when it turned
bright orange just before Hallowe'en.