The Rural Voice, 1987-10, Page 12New ring drive for
the Patz Model
RD -820 Silo
Unloader
NEW RING -DRIVE: With the roller -
chain ring drive, only one motor powers
the machine.
AUTOMATIC LOWERING OPTION:
A winch lowers the RD -820 automatically
after each complete revolution.
GATHERING CHAIN: The Patz
cutters and claws cut loose frozen and
hard -packed silage efficiently, and then
move it to the blower faster.
POWER CUTTER: Spring tension
keeps high-speed, self -sharpening blades
tight to the silo wall to shave it clean.
TORQUE LIMITER: Ratchet -pin
design protects the ring and drive system
while working through tough conditions.
PROGRESSIVE
FARMING
R.R.2, Wellesley
519-656-2709
Rannoch
519-229-6700
Piltz
10 THE RURAL VOICE
FARMERS: CASH IN ON
THE FALL TV LINEUP!
The tremendous success of a local
play, Another Season's Promise, has
given me an idea that's threatening
every lightbulb in the house.
No matter how we've tried to
fatten the skinny coffers of agricul-
ture, we've had about as much success
as if we'd stormed hell with a bucket
of water. But we've overlooked the
most lucrative business of all.
Entertainment! South of the
border, the salary paid to "stars" in a
year is more than all of agriculture in
our country generates. If you've had
the chance to be put to sleep by some
of the television offerings this fall,
you'll realize what a potential gold
mine this media is for paying
mortgages.
Hee-Haw made it big, and all it
had was corny jokes and straw hats.
Green Acres featured two greenhorns
who bumbled in every aspect of agri-
culture. Imagine what a show you
could put together using writers who
themselves had experienced every-
thing they put on paper?
Farming has all the ingredients of
both high drama and rollicking
comedy.
What could be more dramatic than
a scene in which a farmer is pacing at
the mailbox, days on end, waiting for
that promised subsidy cheque. Will it
arrive before his hydro is shut off?
Or suspense could be incorporated
into a show where alternate shots of
threatening storm clouds hover over a
field where a family is valiantly
struggling to get the hay in before the
rain hits. To add to the suspense, the
baler could be of pre -historic vintage,
and running repairs would have to be
made with wire and twine to coax it to
the end of every row. A feminine
member of the haycrew could collapse
in shock when attacked by a vicious
garter snake lurking under a bale.
Man against the elements: it's
always been attractive to viewers.
What could be more elemental than a
farmer fighting frost, rain, hail, and
tornados armed with nothing but
sagacity and an acceptance of fate?
To keep the viewer tuned in,
emotional impact has to be strong.
A spring show could deal with the
emotional wrestling of the farm hero
as he wonders if his wife is really
getting the part he sent her for three
hours ago, or if she's carrying on a
sizzling affair beneath the farm
machinery dealer's counter.
Comedy shows would be more
fun to write, though, and I suspect the
easiest. The viewer could be enter-
tained for 30 minutes watching a
farmer put a milking machine on a
fresh heifer and having the heifer
continue to kick it off and the farmer
continue to try to attach it. The
variations here are endless.
Another side -splitter would be
watching a farmer trying to move a
full-grown hog from one end of the
barn to the other. This sit-com could
take you through the bam, into the
barnyard, and through the garden, and
end with the hog tangled in the wash-
ing and the clothesline while the far-
mer tries to come up with an explan-
ation for the irate washerwoman.
I've already put a few ideas on
paper, and am hunting for producers
who've always had a yen to get back
to their roots. I've titled my episodes
"Knee Deep ... And Then Some." I'm
sure that you'll come up with better
tides for your own particular scripts.
After all, what have we got left to
lose?0
GISELE IRELAND, FROM THE COUNTY
OF BRUCE, BEGAN HER SERIES OF
HUMOROUS COLUMNS WITH THE
RURAL VOICE. HER MOST RECENT
BOOK, BRACE YOURSELF, IS AVAIL-
ABLE FOR $7 FROM BUMPS BOOKS,
TEESWATER, ONTARIO, NOG 2S0.