The Rural Voice, 1987-09, Page 14TRI -BAR FLOORING
• Self Supporting
• Non Slip
• 19" to 10' Sizes in Stock
• 24" Wide with Triple Supporting Trusses
• 30" Wide with Four Supporting Trusses
• Tri -Bar is available with Water Heated
Plates
• Built for Farrowing & Weaner Decks
ALL SIZES IN STOCK
CATTLE HANDLING
EQUIPMENT
$1100
Standard treatment
chutes $580.00
Maintanence free hydraulic
dial scales $1296.00
Self-locking headgates
$289.00
Calf -creep feeders $535.00
We also manufacture
feed fronts
— self-locking type or
conventional slant -bar
style
For catalogue and price list, contact
E. S. Martin Welding
R. R. 1, Linwood, Ont. NOB 2A0
(519) 698-2283
12 THE RURAL VOICE
DOMESTIC THEORY
AND THE RURAL MALE
Super Wrench has the theory that
if you don't sweat the small stuff,
you'll have plenty of energy to attack
anything major that comes along. I
would agree, up to a point. The prob-
lem is that "small stuff' to him is
usually of pressing importance to me.
I'm learning, for example, to take care
of domestic problems by calling the
plumber and electrician — I am
forbidden by some ancient rural law to
bother my spouse with trivialities from
spring seeding until fall harvest.
Our theories clashed fiercely over
what began as a small leak m the
bathroom.
During seeding time, I noticed
water leaking around the bathtub parti-
tion. I eyed the wall apprehensively.
I mentioned the problem to Super
Wrench, but he was busy trying to
figure out what he could plant and not
lose his fruit of the looms on. He
shrugged and told me to lay the law
down about closing the shower cur-
tain. I stuffed a towel around the post.
The leaking continued, even after a
new curtain was installed and the taps
were tightened. I stuffed another
towel around the post.
During the first hay crop, and
many showers later, I was scrubbing
the bathroom floor. Lifting the soggy
towels, I noticed a thriving crop of
mushrooms around the post. I could
see the headline in the paper:
LOCAL FARM WIFE SUPPLEMENTS
INCOME BY GROWING MAGIC
MUSHROOMS IN THE BATHROOM.
I mentioned the new crop to my
dearly beloved, and he vaguely said
something like "that's nice." His mind
was clearly on the broken sections of
the haybine. I showed him a handful
of the succulent little fungi when he
came in from chores that evening.
Later, he must have sampled them.
That's the only reason I can give for
his throwing his clothes, reeking of
wallowing hogs, into the dryer instead
of the washing machine. I gave up
and stuffed another towel, soaked in
strong disinfectant, around the post.
A few showers later, one of the
girls went to step into the shower and
part of the floor caved in. She sur-
vived with just a bruised ankle. She
approached her father, but didn't fare
any better than I had. The gear box
was out of the swather, and he was
saving his energy for the majors. She
stuffed another couple of towels in the
hole and covered it with the bathmat.
A few days later our son came
down to breakfast with 40 odd bits of
toilet tissue stuck to the bleeding spots
on his face. He tried to explain to his
father that a "major happening" was
occurring in the bathroom. He had
been shaving his non-existent whis-
kers when a cat came through the floor
and rubbed itself between his legs. He
tried to climb the walls of the bath-
room without putting the razor down.
His father was busy perusing the
For Sale ads in the paper (the pistons
in the combine motor had changed
holes). I gently told our son to stuff
another towel down the hole and let
the matter rest. "You've got to be kid-
ding, Mom!" he exclaimed. "We've
got more towels down that hole than
we've got in the cupboard upstairs."
Super Wrench is oblivious to the
state of the bathroom; the rest of us
say the Twenty-third Psalm when we
get in the shower. We have visions of
rinsing soap off down in the kitchen.
Today the floor around the throne
feels very spongy. I don't think I'll
mention it to Super Wrench. We're
taking bets on what time of what day
he'll be sitting on it when it goes
through to the first floor of the house.
Maybe that will classify as a "major"
in his books. I hope it's fairly soon,
because I'm almost out of towels.0
GISELE IRELAND, FROM THE COUNTY
OF BRUCE, BEGAN HER SERIES OF
HUMOROUS COLUMNS WITH THE
RURAL VOICE. HER MOST RECENT
BOOK, BRACE YOURSELF, IS AVAIL-
ABLE FOR $7 FROM BUMPS BOOKS,
TEESWATER, ONTARIO, NOG 2S0.