The Rural Voice, 1987-01, Page 8fe) Spicer MacGillivray
Chartered Accountants
LISTOWEL 291-1251
Partners
M.J. Hoyles, C.A.
N. MacDonald Exel, C.A.
Manager
L. M. Gagnon, C.A.
GODERICH 524.2677
Partner
R.E Takalo, C.A.
Manager
R.M. Kaufman, C.A.
TRI -BAR
FLOORING
50%
VolD AREA
— Self Supporting
— Unique Design
— Less Than 1/2" Thick
— Very Strong & Clean
— All Lengths from 20"
To 10' In Stock
We Carry A Com-
plete Line Of Far-
rowing Crates,
Water Nipples,
and Accessories.
TRI -BAR
FLOORING
Div. of H. Van Moorsel Insulation
Hwy 23 North of Mitchell
519-348-9376
or
EUGENE ASNONG .. 519-529-3116 (res.)
6 THE RURAL VOICE
1987 ...
IN A MARBLE
When shedding the old year and
trying the new one on for size, the
body takes a while to adjust. Not
that the old year didn't have its
problems. Much of it fit a little
tight in the corners. But I know that
1987 will have a more comfortable
fit, mainly because I had a vision.
I was racing down the stairs
when on the second step down a
large marble found its way under my
foot and propelled me to the bottom.
After I had gathered all my parts
back together at the bottom, I rolled
this marble between my fingers and
contemplated stuffing it in some-
one's nostril. The more I turned it,
the more the pattern swirled, a
kaleidoscope giving me glimpses of
the coming year.
I saw drought draining Ontario's
farm land, and there was Jack Riddell
viewing the damaged crops in hip
waders.
The next picture that floated in
the marble was of a mass of people
waving placards on Parliament Hill.
They were the Consumers' Asso-
ciation of Canada, and they were
demanding hefty price increases for
the primary producer because they
feared that their future supply of food
was in jeopardy.
I then saw a huge pile of money,
and sitting on top of it was the
newly appointed president of the
Bank of Canada. He was Allen
Wilford.
I saw miles and miles of barges
backed up in the St. Lawrence. The
ship owners were all panting to get
their boats loaded with a new grain
produced by Canadian farmers. This
crop, when distilled properly, made a
brew that took the urge to fight out
of the drinker. At the same time it
raised the drinker's I.Q. considerably
with each quaff. When further fer-
mented, this grain produced a high-
grade fuel. All our trading partners
dropped all trade barriers just to get
some of this new grain, which we
called "muckets."
All creditors who held farmers by
the shorts were lining up at the local
debt review boards, demanding that the
farmers take back their land and offering
an added incentive if they did so. The
creditors had found that owning and
working the farms was a bigger head-
ache than financing them.
Charlie Gracey became Canada's
leading advocate of supply management
in the beef industry, and standing at his
side was Adrian Vos, loudly urging that
the same system be put in place for the
pork business.
The traffic on the 401 was in a
shambles, and when the cloudiness in
the marble finally cleared, the reason
became obvious. The transport truck
that John Wise had been navigating
since losing his govemment job had all
18 wheels pointed towards the heavens.
John was attempting to explain how it
had happened to the boys in blue, and
the ambulance attendants were strapping
the man who served as John's FIT
trainer into a straight jacket.
Super Wrench was of course
astounded by my predictions and
capacity for clairvoyance. I had to tell
him how the visions came about. He
nodded his head sagely. Then he in-
formed me that breaking a major fall
by landing on your head usually results
in hallucinations.0
Gisele Ireland, from Bruce
County, began her series of
humorous columns with The
Rural Voice. Her most recent
book, Brace Yourself, is
available for $7 from Bumps
Books, Teeswater, Ontario,
NOG 2S0.