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The Rural Voice, 1999-12, Page 24By Linda Gabris 3JLtIS was at the age when I still believed in Santa vet, deep in my heart, I knew better than to expect him to come on that eve so many years ago. The winter had been a hard one and I remember it well. Our troubles began when father, who was jobbin' up at Harlock's sugar bushes, had an accident. While skidding logs behind his team, Coaloil and Russet, he lost his footing and slipped down a steep, icy embankment. "Twas a wonder," marvelled old Dinger. our neighbour and a lumberjack who worked with dad, "you didn't break yer neck." Dinger and mother were driving dad home from the hospital. "Dinger!" mother interrupted, as she fussed over father who was bound and wound from head to toe in plaster and dressing, "Let's give thanks and not dwell on what could have happened." I was hunched in the corner behind the wood stove, sharing dad's pain as mom and Dinger struggled to get him onto the day cot 'neath the kitchen window. I shuddered every time poor father moaned. After much ado, they finally had dad settled where he would be •laid up for months. That season mother and I managed 20 THE RURAL VOICE T S to keep things running as best we could. I could tell that it pained father — even more than his injuries — to see us, especially mother, having to work so hard with him not being able to help. "At least let me do something while you're out there hauling water and chopping firewood!" Dad pleaded until mother finally agreed to let him help with some household chores. She'd assign him jobs like peeling potatoes or folding laundry ... tasks he could handle from his awkward perch on the cot. With dad not being able to work, the money in the plaid cookie tin soon ran out. "Things will be fine..." mom'd say, trying to be cheerful as she slid another overdue notice into the mounting stack of bills. "They're addin' up ...?" Dad worried aloud only to be scolded by mother. "We'll manage!" Mom held strong to her faith. "Now, quit fretting, and let yourself mend." It was nearing Christmas as I sat one evening paging through a tattered Eaton's catalogue I had rescued from Dinger's tool shed. Father couldn't stand the idleness any longer and had sent me over to borrow some woodworking tools from Dinger. During the day while mother 1. struggled to keep up with the chores and I was in school, father occupied himself with the tools and slats of maple. All that he would allow me to see of his project was a heap of shavings at the side of his cot. Paging through the moldy book, I smiled thinking of past seasons when I had asked Santa for a paint set or bag of coloured marbles and he'd brought me paper cutout dolls or a jigsaw puzzle instead. I wondered how he could always find something that I wanted even more! As I sat there wishing out loud, I'II never forget how heartbroken and disillusioned I felt when I noticed the worried looks on mom and dad's faces! Putting two and two together, it suddenly dawned on me that Santa and my parents seemed to be one and the same! When I overheard dad joking to mother about poor Santa's budget, 1 felt foolish and greedy as I realized that I was hoping for things we couldn't afford. I excused myself and went to bed, uncomfortable with hearing any more of their whispers. As Christmas neared, the notion that Santa wouldn't be bringing me anything grew. To put mom and dad at ease, I pretended that there was nothing that I really wanted anyways. I hadn't given mother the letter that