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10 THE RURAL VOICE
Mabel's Grill
"So how do you feel about this
endangered species act?" George
McKenzie asked Dave Winston the
other day.
"Great, it's about time," replied
Dave. "I was beginning to think
nobody cared
if us farmers
became
extinct."
"It's not for
us," George
said with
annoyance.
"It's the cute
little animals
the feds are
worried about
protecting.
They don't
give a damn
about
farmers."
"You should ry to be cuter.
George," said Molly Whiteside,
while refilling his coffee. "Then
maybe people'd care about you too?"
"This is as cute as I get," George
grouched.
"In that case I'll send a sympathy
card to your wife," Molly. replied.
"I can't figure out why they're
always so all -fired worried about
some little owl or gopher being
wiped out," groused George. "I mean
it's survival of the fittest isn't it?"
"I don't recall you feeling that
way when that calf of yours got
killed by the coyote," said Cliff
Murray. •
"Yeh, but I shot the s.o.b. so I
guess I proved who was the fittest!"
George crowed.
"I still think farmers are the most
endangered species of all," said
Dave. "I mean I barely got back to
the break even point in my hogs and
now they're talking about another
price collapse! Why doesn't the
government care if we survive?"
"Because unlike those owls or
gophers there will also ways be
somebody else coming along wanting
to farm," said Cliff. "Maybe the
gophers are smart enough to quit
while they're behind."
"So what do you want, welfare for
farmers?" George asked Dave.
"Sounds good by me," said Dave.
"I feel like I've been on workfare for
The world's
problems are
solved daily
'round the table
at Mabel's
a year without any cheque in return."
"Hey," asked Wayne Bruce,
"what do you think about this idea
Premier Mike has about making
people work on farms to earn their
welfare cheques?"
"I don't want anybody working on
my farm who's earning more than
me," said Cliff.
"Obviously you're not a pig
farmer or even the owls and the
gophers would earn more than you
do," moaned Dave.
"Oh gawd," said Molly. "You ride
in on your bike today, Dave?"
"Bike?" Dave said bewildered.
"Hearing you talk I figured you
must have traded in your club -cab,
four-wheel-drive pick-up because
times were so tough and you'd be
riding a bike these days," Molly said.'
"Look, there have always been
ups and downs in farming," said
George.
"Easy to tell beef's moving up,"
said Cliff.
"In the long run, the best farmers
will survive and the others will work
for tractor dealers," said George.
"You're big on this 'survival of
the fittest' stuff aren't you?" asked
Molly.
"It's the way of the world," said
George. "You can't deny it."
"So you'd like to live that way
yourself would you?" asked Molly.
"I do live that way myself," said
George.
"Yeh but have you ever really
watched the way it works in nature,"
asked Molly.
"Well, yeh ... sure," said George,
starting to smell a rat by now.
"Now you take say the deer or the
elk. This itime of the year they're all
putting on as much muscle as they
can and they start butting heads and
the biggest, toughest one gets to take
on all the does he can handle. Then
the next strongest gets whatever's
left." She looked around the table.
"Now imagine we allowed that kind
of winner -take -all competition in
human relations. I'd say in that case
you guys would be pretty hard up for
... shall we say ... recreation?"
Mabel said later it was the first
time in 20 years she had heard that
table at a loss for words. She gave
Molly a bonus in that week's pay.0