The Rural Voice, 1999-06, Page 6Making
Super Wrench really deserves to
indulge in his passions. and I'm
always supportive. Not a complaint
was uttered when he tell in love with
golf clubs. Neither do I moan and
groan when he takes off to yet
another sale to find the special
treasures his customers appreciate.
He refers to these pastimes as his
hobby and business. I would .
appreciate. though, the same
consideration when a passion strikes
me. It is not fair. as has happened,
that my wishes have been termed as
an obsession. Must be a man thing.
All I started out to do four years
ago was to try and get a little co-
operation in transforming a weedy
four -acre field, that's of no use to
anyone, into something wildlife —
and I — could enjoy. Most of the no
brain work has to be done by a
knowledgeable machinery operator. It
isn't as if machinery is in short
supply with a hundred odd pieces
ON JUNE 3RD
Re-elect
BILL MURDOCH p
BRUCE -GREY
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2 THE RURAL VOICE
Gisele Ireland
a deal with Super
sitting in the yard lineup. What's in
short supply is a willing operator with
a little enthusiasm and passion.
Year one was a total loss. None of
the usual techniques worked and both
Super Wrench
and son ran in
the opposite
direction when
they saw me
approach with
definite
purpose in my
step. The
weeds
flourished and I
built up a good
head of steam.
Year two I
had 1,000 tree
seedlings
delivered. Waste of any kind appalls
Super Wrench and he was compelled
by his Scottish ancestry to work up a
chunk to plant a nursery. Of course,
the only land available was the scrub
field. I felt a mild stab of elation until
I heard them discuss how dry the land
was down there and it would be a
miracle if any of the seedlings
survived. I fooled them. I bought
eight miles of hose and watered
diligently. Ninety per cent of the trees
made it.
Year three was an ongoing saga of
nothingness. That's not true — they
called someone in to come and spray
the hill with herbicide so I could see
the stones that needed to be picked.
They figured I would lose interest
and take up bingo or lawn bowling
instead. Again, I fooled them and
made a very decorative stone pile in
the middle and planted wild grape
vines around it to get it covered and
added a huge birdhouse.
By year four I was desperate. I had
this ridiculous stone pile in the
middle of a bare chunk of land with a
birdhouse mounted on a huge
wooden roller, sticking out like a sore
thumb. In addition, I had raised
enough perennials in the past two
years to cover at least an acre and had
nowhere to put them. Then there
Wrench
were the 900 trees outgrowing the
nursery. What to do?
As a last resort, after nagging had
failed, blackmail proved ineffective
and tears just yielded a momentary
pause and a box of tissues, I suddenly
turned on a full dose of helplessness.
I mentioned, just in passing mind
you, that the dead grass was three feet
thick and I couldn't get my shovel
through it. Was there anything these
strong, smart men could think of to
help me?
Super Wrench immediately came
up with fire. Yup. that was the
solution. He would burn the grass off
and at the same time get rid of that
old fence that was an eyesore on the
landscape. I had almost forgotten his
pyromaniac tendencies and almost
jumped up and down for joy when he
followed through. The neighbours
stopped in alarm and a happy Wrench
just waved them on as he watched the
old posts burn like beacons in the
evening sky. I'm surprised he didn't
come in for weenies and
marshmallows.
That evening, more than the fence
was fired up. Super Wrench suddenly
came up with the idea that the
landscaping would be outstanding if
we featured, very prominently mind
/ou, some of his treasures purchased
at sales. You know, things that
everybody uses on the land nowadays
like turnip seeders, celery mud rakes
and so forth. You get the picture.
I went for the trade-off. I
stipulated if it was really ugly, he'd
have to relegate it to the junk heap. If
I could grow vegetation around it, on
it, or in it, I'd include it. Fair enough.
If anyone out there has successfully
covered an ancient hay loader, about
12 feet high, with interesting steel
wheels with anything flowering and
attractive, I'd like to hear from you.
Fair is fair, Super Wrench
promised to work up another chunk if
I made it a highlight. Burning it
doesn't count.0
Gisele Ireland, from Bruce County, is
an author of several humorous books
on farm life.