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10 THE RURAL VOICE
Mabel's Grill
"Ah the smell of spring," said
Molly Whiteside as a customer
opened the door and the smell of
Angus Cunningham spreading his
manure wafted in.
"You want bacon on the menu,
you have to
put up with a
little manure,"
said Cliff
Murray.
"Same with
eggs."
"Wonder-
ful thought,"
Molly said.
"Bon appetit."
A farmer's
• got to spread
the manure
sometime,"
Cliff said.
"Oh, you
mean she was talking about smell of
manure?" Dave Winston said. "I
smelled something but I thought it
was just that the BS was getting a
little deep as the government gets
closer to a spring election!"
"Yehospeaking about spreading it,
if I see one more ad about how great
the government is doing with
hospitals I think I'm going to smash
my TV," said Wayne Bruce.
"It's one way to cure you from
watching too much TV," said Dave.
"Yeh, I can hardly wait to get out
on the tractor to get away from it,"
said Cliff.
"Please, just don't spread any
more manure when you're on the
tractor," pleaded Molly.
"Don't knock the smell of pig
manure," said Dave. "Usually 1 think
of it as a problem to get rid of but
this year it might be the most
valuable thing my pigs produced this
winter. At least I can save on
nitrogen."
"Yeh but what are you going to
fertilize?" George McKenzie
wondered. "It looks like if you plant
crops you'll just go from losing
money on your pigs to losing money
on your corn and soybeans."
"Then I can feed them back to the
pigs and lose money on the pigs,"
said Dave. "See, it's all part of a
system."
"Ah you'll just get one of those
The world's
problems are
solved daily
'round the table
at Mabel's
big cheques from the government and
you'll keep right on going," Wayne
jabbed at him. "You guy's don't
know what it's like to be real
businessmen."
"Yeh, I should be so lucky to be
the only supplier to the whole town
like you arc for shoes," Dave shot
back.
"Well I'm not shipping many
shoes to China," Wayne said.
"I'm not shipping many pigs
either," grouched Dave. "That's the
problem."
"Well you'll be happy to know
that out west some university
professor figures the government's
aid package was designed for you
pork producers, not the wheat
producers," said George. "I read it in
a farm paper out there."
"What's he been smoking?" Dave
wondered. "I figured the wheat
farmers must be making the money
because it didn't look like we were
going to get much."
"This could be the ultimate Paul
Martin project," said Cliff. "He
announces a program that looks like
it's going to help everybody so he
looks like a good guy but nobody
qualifies so he gets to keep the
money to pay down the deficit so he
keeps the big business guys happy."
"I'm getting sick of making big
business guys happy," said Dave. "I
figure the last few months us pork
farmers have filled the pockets of the
big guys who own the packing
plants."
"You mean like the teachers'
pension?" Wayne interjected.
"And the supermarkets haven't
done badly either," Dave said.
"Yeh but now we'll have to listen
to then screaming about how much
tax they had to pay because they're
making so much," Cliff said.
"Then somebody will start talking
about how he could keep so much
more money if he lived in the
southern states," Wayne said.
"Except they wouldn't have my
pigs to make money off if they were
in the southern states," said Dave.
";I don't know, wouldn't you like
to farm in a warm climate?", Cliff
asked.
"Only if I made so much money I
needed to save on taxes," Dave said.0