The Rural Voice, 1999-03, Page 18TIGER'
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14 THE RURAL VOICE
Mabel's Grill
"So what's all this fuss about a
dead groundhog," grumbled George
McKenzie at the height of the
publicity over the demise of Wiarton
Willie. "From where I stand, we
should be celebrating. The only good
groundhog is a
dead ground-
hog."
"Ah you're
just an old
grump," said
Molly White-
side as she
refilled his
coffee cup. "I
mean, it's all
good fun. And
besides, what
are we going
to do without
Willie to tell
us when spring
The world's
problems are
solved daily
'round the table
at Mabel's
is coming."
"Watch for the RSP ads," said
Wayne Bruce. "When they start
getting thick and fast and you think
you are going to go out of your mind,
you know there's six weeks left to
March 1. Add a month to that, and
you've got the end of winter."
"The surest sign of spring is when
the saps start running," said Cliff
Murray. "The finance minister
announces his budget and all the
opposition parties and the provincial
premiers and the bank economists
start running around telling him how
he got it all wrong and they could
have done it better."
"I figure the surest sign of spring
is baseball," said Dave Winston.
"Not so much that they actually start
playing but that some guy refuses to
report to training camp because the
poor guy's only making $10 million
a year and some other guy is making
$11 million."
"I like the idea of spring training,"
said Molly. "You see those guys
playing in the warm sun and you
realize it really will get that warm
here in a couple of months."
"And stay that way for a couple of
days," said George.
"It brings back memories all
right," said Wayne. "I remember
when I used to play ball on the town
team. Not that I was any Babe Ruth
or anything. What is it they say about
the hardest thing to do being to hit a
round ball with a round bat?"
"I got one thing harder," said
Dave. "Hit a high price market with a
bumper crop."
"Well I don't know about the
bumper crop part, but it sure doesn't
look like we have to worry about
high prices for a while," said Cliff.
"Corn, soybeans, wheat, you name it,
nothing looks like it's going to make
much money this year."
"Things keep up we might be able
to take advantage of the Whole Farm
Disastrous Program", said Dave.
"You mean 'Disaster' Program,"
George said.
"No, I mean disastrous," said
Dave. "They announced the darned
thing and it sounded like it would
help but it's been a disaster as far as
I'm concerned."
"Aw you're all grouching but as
soon as the weather warms up you'll
be out on the land planting your
crops," said Wayne. "I can never
figure out how farmers can be so
pessimistic and so optimistic at the
same time."
"Habit," said Cliff.
"What, the complaining or the
going ahead and planting anyway?"
wondered Wayne.
"Both," said Cliff. "We're like
Leaf fans: we keep losing year after
year but when a new season rolls
around you get your hopes up
anyway."
"Yeh, and when things are going
good for a change, like they are for
the Leafs this year, you figure it's
only a matter of time before some-
thing steps on your heart," said Dave.
"You watch, they'll go out in the first
round of the playoffs."
"Well you can't win the
championship every year," Wayne
said. "I mean there's what, 27 teams
now? Everybody's got to get a turn."
"I don't know, some people just
seem to win all the time," said Bruce.
"I mean how come no matter how
things turn out the Conrad Blacks
and the Michael McCains seem to
come out on top?"
"Simple," said Wayne. "That's
because you guys may think you own
the puck, but they own the arena."0