The Rural Voice, 1998-05, Page 16MARQUARDT
FARM DRAINAGE LTD.
(ESTABLISHED 1968)
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Mt. Forest 323-3591
12 THE RURAL VOICE
The World from Mabel's Grill
With the weather the way it's
been, Mabel and Molly Whiteside
were wondering if the guys would
run out of things to gripe about. After
all, we haven't had a winter and
spring like this in years so what was
there to
complain
about. Of
course by
about April 15
Dave Winston
was worrying
because he
hadn't got his
crop in.
Anyway,
things were
getting quiet
and then along
came the bank
merger.
"Why
don't they all
join together into one big bank and
get it over with," Wayne Bruce said.
"Yeh," said Cliff Murray, "then
they can set up one branch at King
and Bay and if we want to see a real
person we can all go down to
Toronto to see them."
"Now, now, you don't want
people telling you how to run your
business so why should you be
telling the banks how to run theirs",
said George McKenzie.
"Somebody's telling me how to
run my business all the time," said
Dave. "The bank."
"Yeh, I can just see dealing with
the bank in the future," said Cliff.
"You'll go to your computer and get
your morning e-mail from some
accountant from Don Mills telling
you how you're too close to your
credit limit and you'd better sell
some cattle to pay it down."
"Or telling you should plant
soybeans instead of corn on the
corner field," grumbled Dave.
"Look," said George, "all you
guys say there's not going to be any
competition if the banks merge but
there are all those foreign banks
getting into the business. They'll
keep our banks honest."
"Great, then 1 can get my morning
e-mail from the Bank of Hong Kong
— in Chinese," Cliff said.
"There should be some cheap real
estate in these towns around here,"
The world's
problems are
solved daily
'round the table
at Mabel's
said Wayne. "I mean chances are the
bigger towns had at least three of the
four banks that are going to merge
which means there are two empty
buildings and I doubt any of those
foreign banks are going to want to set
up branches out here. They just Brant
our money, they don't actually want
to have to see us."
"Look, we've got the best banking
system in the world," George said.
"You have some banking stocks,
right?" Wayne asked.
"Well, yes," George said.
"Maybe the government will step
in and stop the mergers," Molly
suggested. "Mr. Martin has been
talking tough."
"Ha!" exploded Cliff. "By the
time he gets his precious report from
the committee looking at the
financial institutions, the banks will
have the moving trucks loaded. He's
no more going to stop the merger
than he's going to cut taxes."
"The guy's spouting so much BS
he should need a nutrient
management plan," Dave agreed.
"If all the politicians had to have
nutrient management plans for the
manure they spread we'd need to cut
down all our forests just to have
enough paper," George said.
"Speaking of politicians and
manure, did you hear the big stink
because the Quebec government is
going to allow a huge pig barn just
down the road from the Prime
Minister's country place? I guess
they figure there's more than one
way to get the federalists out of the
province."
"If they allow a pig barn in Mount
Royal I guess we'll really know it's a
plot," Wayne said.
"Maybe they could use one of
those bank towers," said Dave. "They
should have plenty of surplus space."
"I think it's only fair that Chr&lien
should have to put up with the smell
of the pigs for a change," said
George. "He's been feeding a lot of
his friends at the trough for years."
"Enough with the pig jokes,"
Dave complained. "You'd think pigs
were the only animals that stink, or
something."
"No," said George, "they all have
smells, it's just that if your neighbour
is a pig farmer you can't smell your
own stock's manure."0