The Rural Voice, 1992-11, Page 10TARS O
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6 THE RURAL VOICE
Keith Roulston
A tale of two causes
The word along the concession
wasn't welcoming when it was ru-
moured that Sylvia Empathy wanted
to tour local farms to "learn more
about farming". Everybody knew that
Sylvia was a
researcher for a
vociferous ani-
mal rights group
and nobody
wanted her on
their place.
"Who needs
the grief," Sam
Waffleburger
summed up the
general feeling.
But the local Ag
Rep persuaded
people they
should give
Sylvia a chance.
"It's better these
people have all the real facts instead
of imagining all the things that are
wrong on the farm."
So Sylvia arrived one sunny fall
morning, getting out of her banged -up
Volvo at Annie VanderStocken's hog
farm. Annie knew she was in trouble
when she saw Sylvia was wearing
sandals and she stepped into a large
puddle, the mud and unimagined other
indignities oozing between her toes.
Clipboard in hand, Sylvia followed
Annie and Ag Rep into the barn. They
made sure to show Sylvia the comp-
uterized system that gave the animals
the best possible feed mixture. Sylvia
even put in some of those bowling
balls in the pens so the animals keep
busy playing around.
"But it stinks," Sylvia noted.
"1 figure they make the sunk, they
can live with it," Annie said bluntly.
"Still, if they were outside in a
field they could have nice fresh air,"
Sylvia muttered as she jotted notes on
her clipboard.
Next it was Hank Smenkel's dairy
farm. He showed off his new milking
parlour. Sylvia was unimpressed.
"Mightn't those machines hurt when
they're milking?" she wondered.
"If they do, the cows have never
told me," Hank said curtly. "I figure
it's got to be better than cold hands."
Outside, Sylvia was taking note
seriously when they came to the calf
hutches in the yard. "You mean
calves have to stay out here even in
the middle of winter?" she said
doubtfully.
"At least they don't have to worry
about the smell," the Ag Rep put in.
Down the road they came to Jerry
Shakley's layer bam. Jerry pointed
out how he piped music into the barn
for his chickens. "Noise pollution,"
Sylvia sniffed.
"This is cruelty," she howled
looking at the hens in cages. "How'd
you like to be cooped up like that all
your life?" she asked.
Jerry had to admit he wouldn't like
it. "Sort of like living in one of those
apartment buildings in the city."
The Ag Rep was a little doubtful
about the last stop on the tour. Angus
Macdonald still farmed the way he
had 50 years earlier when he took
over from his father who hadn't
exactly been a leader in farming
practices even then. Old Macdonald's
farm was not generally the kind of
farm an Ag Rep was proud to point to.
But as Angus showed Sylvia
around the place, she was positively
beaming. There in the old orchard six
or seven sows rooted around in the
mud. Angus had a few old dual-
purpose Shorthorns with calves at
their sides. The chickens scratched in
the dust behind the bam.
"Now why can't all farmers treat
their animals like this?," Sylvia asked
the Ag Rep. "All these animals seem
happy."
The Ag Rep was about to point out
that old Angus didn't even have
indoor plumbing, let alone a TV or
microwave like everybody in the city
but he was interrupted by a com-
motion near the chicken house door.
A large, proud rooster came out the
door and pounced on the nearest hen.
She let out a loud squawk.
"What's that rooster doing?"
Sylvia demanded. The look of horror
on her face soon showed she knew
what was happening. "But ... he's
raping her! Lock that rooster up! He
should be caged!"0
Keith Roulston is editor and publisher
of The Rural Voice as well as being a
playwright. He lives on a small
acreage near Blyth, Ontario.