The Rural Voice, 1991-12, Page 8When You Need .. .
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4 THE RURAL VOICE
LIGHTING UP
A FARMER'S LIFE
Gisele Ireland is from Bruce County.
Her most recent book, Brace Yourself,
is available for $7 from Bumps Books,
Teeswater, Ontario, NOG 2S0.
We can denounce it for its com-
mercialism, we can deplore it for its
hecticness, and we can refuse to par-
ticipate in its jolliness, but we can't
escape it. Whether we realize it or
not, we've already been seduced by its
magic. The sights, the smells, and the
sweet strains of carols coming at us no
matter where we are, have us hooked
on another Christmas season. Every-
one except Super Wrench. He seems
to have misplaced his HO! HO! HO!,
and I've got to take the blame for it.
My timing was off.
For farmers, Christmas comes a
little early. For many years, I've
watched Super Wrench pay the crop
expenses with what he received after
harvest. Lots of years he growled, or
groaned, or sometimes gave me a
"meaning of money" lecture. He
always got over it a few weeks after,
and I would cajole him into the spirit
of spending money.
One thing I've been dreaming
about for over a quarter of a century is
having miles of outdoor lights, wound
around our house and trees, so we'd
be visible at night to the planet Uran-
us. I've never had any success con-
vincing Super Wrench, because his
economical streak always squashed it.
There was always something we
needed more than what he called "the
most disgusting display of electric
waste he's ever seen."
This year, I saw one of the best
sales on outdoor lights I've ever come
across, and couldn't wait to share this
news with Super Wrench. Bad idea!
He was just finishing off the calcu-
lations of what he got from the crops,
and what he owed against them. Had
my horoscope in the paper that day
not led me to believe I would achieve
success at what had eluded me in the
past, I never would have tried it. He
looked downright mean. He made the
Grinch look handsome. I showed him
the flyer and waited for his response.
Usually, if he just grunts, it means "I
don't care ... go ahead," and if he
frowns, and rubs his forehead, it
means "does this woman think money
grows on trees?" He didn't respond as
anticipated. He glanced at the flyer
and told me he had all the anti -freeze
he needed, and at a better price than I
was showing him. At this point, I was
in a real quandary. His responses
were a shade off being warm and
friendly, but the sale only lasted a
couple of more days. It made me
daring. I shoved the flyer under his
nose again, and pointed to the lights
with what I thought was a look of
respectful longing.
"You want WHAT?", he bellowed.
"Here I am trying to figure out how to
keep the wolf from the door, and you
want to light the place up so he won't
have any trouble finding it. Do you
have any idea how lucky we are?" .. .
at which point his eyes began to get
that glazed look to them, and I knew I
was going to get the full Toad. Some-
one was watching out for me, because
the phone rang, and when he picked
up the receiver, I grabbed the flyer and
ran.
Neither of us picked up the threads
of that particular discussion again. I
am sure, though, had my instincts been
better, and had I waited just a couple
of weeks, I'd have had better luck with
my request. Someday, I vow Super
Wrench will be up on a ladder string-
ing stars on our chimney, but it sure
isn't this year. We'll have the one
special star we didn't have last year,
our grandson, and family to celebrate
the joyous season of Christmas with.
The Holiday season offers
something special to all of us. May
yours be a comfort, a joy, and a
blessing. If you decide to drop in on
our house, you won't have any
problem finding us. We're the only
house on the line with no Christmas
lights!0