The Rural Voice, 1990-11, Page 8y
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Katie 's
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Nine miles east of Kincardine
on Highway 9
519-395-3461
r
2
Highway 9
0
4 THE RURAL VOICE
FAMILY NEGOTIATIONS:
A NEW "ROUND"
Gisele Ireland is from Bruce County.
Her most recent book, Brace Yourself,
is available for $7 from Bumps Books,
Teeswater, Ontario, NOG 2S0.
Getting a deal for someone else is
what puts the zest into Super Wrench's
life. Getting the same thing for
himself seems to be another matter
entirely. Especially if the other half
of the negotiating team is his daughter.
Diane, our second eldest, decided
to live at home after graduating and
drive a fair distance to work. The
way she had it worked out, she could
do this cheaper and put away loads of
green stuff to buy the car of her
dreams. Super Wrench decided to
negotiate terms with her. Personal
expenses were hers, including
insurance and car repairs on the
clunker Super Wrench had bequeathed
to her two years ago. In addition, he
worked out that if she bought the
groceries once a month, it would be a
good deal for everyone. She gladly
agreed.
Super Wrench forgot two things.
This young lady had put herself
through school with a budget that
would gladden the heart of Mr.
Scrooge. Her idea of a good meal,
and Super Wrench's idea of the same,
were entirely different. In addition,
Super Wrench's teachings of
economics stuck to her like peanut
butter to the roof of your mouth.
Super Wrench always lectured all of
us, when we went on a shopping spree
to ask ourselves two questions, "Will
it last, and do I really need it?"
When Diane bought the groceries
for the week with that lecture
uppermost on the list, Super Wrench's
stomach suffered. The only snacks
available were fruit in season and
popcorn. If drinks were called for,
lemonade was it, or good old water.
Neither a gulp of pop nor nary a chip
crumb was to be found anywhere.
Anything that was canned, was No -
name. Super Wrench would open the
cupboard to prepare a quick lunch and
be faced with nothing but yellow cans.
He soon learned to read the labels
carefully after he'd opened a can
of kidney beans instead of soup.
We didn't have to share the tissues,
but she kept a close eye on how may
we each used. The toothpaste was slit
down the length of the tube to get the
last dredge before she'd open her
wallet to get another one. Toilet tissue
was the recycled variety, and Super
Wrench swore he got some with
hunks of branches still in it.
On the next shopping trip, Super
Wrench went with her. Our youngest
daughter accompanied them and
considered selling tickets down aisle
six when they began hassling over
how many cans of tomato juice
to buy. It was on sale and Super
Wrench wanted four cans. Since
Diane was paying for it, she only
allowed two into the cart. Reports
from on -the -spot witnesses were
hilarious on how Super Wrench would
try to sneak stuff into the cart and how
Diane got rid of it as soon as his back
was tumed.
Meals for Super Wrench became a
heated affair. Diane insisted that hot,
spicy food went further than the bland
meat, potatoes and gravy kind. She
was right. One helping of chili,
loaded with jalapeno peppers, had no
one digging back in the pot for
seconds. We were too busy putting
out the fire. Bananas on your ice
cream were rationed to half of one for
each when they went over 69 cents a
pound. Flavoured syrups weren't
good for you and far too expensive.
Banana splits during that week just
weren't the same.
Needless to say, Super Wrench is
in the market for a new round of
negotiations on this particular deal.
He wants her to give him the cash and
he'll decide how to spend it. She's
hedging, and holding out for more
concessions. I think Super Wrench
has met his match. He knows what
he's up against, he taught her.0