The Rural Voice, 1990-07, Page 10ELEGANT
HANDCRAFTED
FURNITURE
Come to the country
and browse through
a selection of
Handcrafted
Furniture
built in the finest
-"MENNONITE"-
tradition!
ret stum 45rders Weleofnedl':
• Oak
• Cherry
• Pine
• Maple
— Dining Room Suites
Kitchen Suites
— Roll Top Desks
-- Bedroom Suites
-- Rocking Chairs
— Oak & Cedar Chests
Curios
Blanket Boxes
Gallery Art Work
Jessica Doll Collection
Katie 's
Country
Crafts
on Highway number nine
9 miles east of Kincardine
(1 1/4 miles east of Bervie)
519-395-3461
6 THE RURAL VOICE
IT'S ALL IN THE KNEES
The sprouting fields of the
countryside are again possible this
year due to the flexibility of many
good pairs of knees.
I will solemnly testify that I
noticed more farmers on their knees
this spring than I would have had I
attended a special mass at the Vatican.
In the mornings on the way to
work, I noticed kneelers, armed with
grease guns, laboriously inching their
way under various machines. On the
way home, the same kneelers were
again in that position, armed with a
tool, getting fixed what the greasing
didn't prevent in the morning.
I couldn't wait to find Super
Wrench when I got home to discuss
this phenomenon. Super Wrench has
always claimed that nothing brings a
man to his knees other than his faith,
or a faithless woman. After consid-
erable searching of our premises, I
finally located him. He was with his
son, under a machine. Both were on
their knees.
During supper, I announced
that I was taking Super Wrench off
his knees for a while to spend some
"quality" time with him. A drive in
the sunset and an ice cream would be
nice. From the reaction I got from
both Super Wrench and our son, you'd
think I'd suggested a tequila orgy in
Mexico for a week. I was adamant,
explaining that the broken piece of
equipment would still be there in the
morning for him to kneel under. I
got my way.
When we arrived at the local drive-
in restaurant, Super Wrench offered to
get me what I wanted. Through the
window of the establishment I noticed
he soon became deeply engrossed in a
lengthy conversation with a fellow
farmer. He held the cones until they
dripped down his arm. Finally, he
made a move towards the doorway,
where I couldn't see him anymore.
The next thing to cross my vision was
two ice cream cones sailing through
the air. They landed with a messy
plop on the gravel parking lot. 1 heard
exclamations of concern over Super
Wrench's physical condition and got
out of the car promptly. Again, I
found him on his knees.
He picked himself up, with
obvious chagrin, and announced that
he hadn't been paying attention and
had missed the step while he was
talking. The proprietor of the estab-
lishment kindly replaced the cones
and then added insult to injury. He
gently urged Super Wrench to use
the "senior's" ramp the next time
he entered and exited.
On the way home we tried to
staunch the bleeding of his arm with
serviettes, but could do very liule for
his knee. The gravel had scraped the
pants clean through, plus a few inches
of skin.
He was quite a sight limping to the
house, and the first person we encoun-
tered was our son. He took one look
at his father and asked him what he'd
been doing. "Getting your mother an
ice cream cone, on quality time," was
the terse reply.
Our son calmly announced that
he'd finished fixing the machine they
had been working on and added it was
a good thing he'd gone ahead. "Your
knees," he said to his father, "aren't up
to it for a few days."
"By the way, Mom," he tossed in
for good measure, "when you want to
spend more quality time with us, I
think I'll sign up for hang gliding. I
need my knees."0
Gisele Ireland, from Bruce County,
began her series of humorous columns
with The Rural Voice. Her most
recent book, Brace Yourself, is
available for $7 from Bumps Books,
Teeswater, Ontario, NOG 2S0.